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But we were crying and struggling to breathe, and it felt like a lie. We should have been happy, should have had the rest of our lives to live, but it felt like a lie.
CHAPTER 8
HARVEY
Ididn't care that I hit rock bottom and sank to a whole new low; I followed Haley down the hallway from the living room to the bathroom, catching the door with my foot before it could close.
"Don't mind me," I said when she looked up, her pants and underwear halfway down her legs. "I'll just wait here."
She blinked.
"It's not the first time I've seen you pee, Sugarplum," I reminded her. It wasn't the first time I'd been clingy either, but this was on another level. "I couldn't breathe when you left my sight," I confessed, shutting the door and sitting my ass on the edge of the bath. "I'm sorry."
"Oh, Harvey," she sighed, shimmying her pants back up and leaning over to hug me. She squeezed tight enough that a knot unwound from my chest. I hugged her back too hard, too frantic. "What can I do? What do you need?"
"Just don't leave me," I answered quietly, my Adam’s apple bobbing as I tried to swallow the lump in my throat.
I'd been on the verge of crying since I saw her sitting on Emlyn's lap, whole and healthy and alive, and now emotion scalded my face, a storm that could drown me. I couldn't choke it back, even though crying would only cause Haley more pain
I lost her. I fucking lost her. She was cold and still and dead, and my whole world just … stopped. Nothing moved, nothing breathed. Colour and joy and life just … stopped.
Every stereotypical, cliché thing anyone had ever said about grief was true, and even now, with her arms around me, I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. It would be a long time before I accepted that she was here and breathing.
Even though I could touch her, feel her warmth, her breath stirring my hair, her scent in my lungs—bright and floral, not stagnant and dull—I couldn't forget how it felt to touch her hand and feel cold, slack skin, couldn't forget the emptiness in her eyes before they were closed or the way the bond just … stilled inside me. I didn't know why I didn't go feral this time. Feral would have been better than grieving.
"Harvey," she murmured, fingertips tracing my brow, brushing messy brown hair off my forehead. "It's okay now. I promise."
I focused my eyes on her, feeling sick. "Okay? I lost you," I managed to force past my swollen throat. "I lost you, Haley, you died, you were cold, you—"
A strangled cry stole the rest of my words, and she hugged me tighter, my head on her chest, her lips leaving kisses in my hair. My eyes burned and overflowed, and I clung to my mate, holding her so tightly that not even death could steal her from me.
"We're done," I choked out after long minutes, her arms never loosening around me, her kisses never stopping. "No more fights, no more titans, no more save the world bullshit. We're done."
"I know," she soothed, stroking my back with rough pressure, a weight falling off my shoulders at the touch. My wings drooped. "I know, Buttercup. It was never about saving the world; it was always about saving our family. But we're all safe, and we're staying the fuck out of anything else Cronus does."
The knot in my chest loosened at her easy agreement, and I tried to lighten my grip on her a fraction, so I didn't leave bruises on her newly healed body. Actually … was she healed? I skimmed my hands down her sides, tilting my head up to kiss her jaw.
"Sorry in advance," I said against her skin, her scent wrapping around my tastebuds until she consumed me and something caved inside my chest.
"For what?" she murmured, and then hissed a vicious, creative curse that made me smile when I poured magic into her, coursing it through her ribs and down to the place where she’d stabbed herself. The wound was so deep and expansive that I faltered.
"Fuck, Haley," I whispered, tears flooding my face, hot and stinging.
"I couldn't let him win," she admitted quietly. "He was going to kill me anyway, but this way he couldn't consume me and grow even more powerful. I had a split second choice before he killed me, and I chose—"
"Spite," I finished, my voice raw. "You chose to spite him."
Haley froze, and I used the moment to pour my healing magic down her legs to the weakness at her ankle and search out more aches and pains, freeing her of even a single moment's discomfort.
"Are you mad at me?" she whispered.
I drew back, giving her a sharp look. "Are you crazy? If I knew death was seconds away, I'd have chosen to spite the fucker, too." I tried to smile, and knew I failed miserably when she caught my hand and pulled it away from her stomach, kissing my knuckles.
"I love you," she said, her voice smaller, fragile.
The need to protect her surged, filling my chest to bursting, and a low vibrating growl formed in my chest. I guess I was a little feral after all. I bit back the growl and gentled my hold on her, tucking a strand of dirty pink hair behind her ear.
"I love you too, more than anyone or anything else in any world. You're the whole goddamn universe to me, Halwen Vakhara. If I lose you again, I won't survive it."
