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Wane, my beautiful Wane, who fought back his panic and trauma just to touch me, kiss me, hold me, who was so thoughtful that he'd knew everything I needed before I even realised it, who cared so much and loved so hard that it should have been impossible. Wane, who refused to forget me even though Cronus tried for a hundred years to wipe me from his mind.
And Wynvail, who walked willingly into death just because it would make me happy, who gave up his own life to save Wane's because despite everything he'd endured, every evil thing he'd ever done, he was still good.
I blinked, and the house wavered around us, shadows rushing around it, swallowing it, and replacing it with—an endless black corridor, devoid of hope and light and mercy.
My breath choked off in my lungs.
I don’t think this is a good idea, Erebus muttered, but I’ll honour your request.
I swallowed hard, the walls pressing in on me, the stagnant scent of old blood and damp heavy in my lungs. Wane had lived here for a hundred years. I could bear it, too.
CHAPTER 4
EMLYN
Iwasn't allowed to fall apart. Too many people were relying on me for me to slip. Without me keeping them together, taking care of them, keeping them alive, what would happen?
Kai had fallen into a silent, empty shell, staring into space and not speaking to anyone. It was a thousand times worse than any fists thrown through the wall, worse than yelling so loud it shook the whole house.
Harvey had locked himself in one of the bathrooms and hadn't come out in hours.
Wane wasn't locked away, and wasn't folded up, hidden by shadows, in the corner either. But darkness clung to his body, and there was something dull behind his silver eyes. Something scarily dead. He walked from room to room like a zombie, never leaving Haley's side for long.
Wynvail was the worst. He wouldn't stand still for a second, running from room to room, floor to floor, grabbing books he swore would save Haley, unearthing magical object after magical object, leaving to make a deal with an old friend for a potion he promised could revive the dead. I wanted to slap him, to scream that she was dead and she was never coming back. She stabbed herself, she left us—
I sucked in a sharp breath, clenching my hands into fists as I rode out the pain. She left us, and I didn't know why she didn't fight. She could have stabbed Cronus, but she turned her dagger on herself.
I exhaled slowly, my shoulders shaking as I stood in the middle of the kitchen, not sure if I was supposed to be making coffee or food. Fuck.
I grabbed the edge of the island and bowed over it, my eyes burning, my throat closed tight. I saw that moment over and over, Haley driving the dagger into her stomach, red light erupting, Cronus tearing the knife from her and tossing her aside like she was trash. It was all I could see when I closed my eyes, not even the sight of her corpse laying in the bedroom erasing it. The corpse. My mate.
My mate was dead.
A broken breath shook my shoulders, but I choked out a curse and pulled myself upright, scrubbed my face, and wrestled my breathing under control. It took five minutes, but I composed myself and swallowed down my pain. I had to keep my shit together or I'd lose the rest of my family. Hales would be furious if they got hurt, and I’d rather die than do that to her.
"I'll take care of them," I rasped, curling my hands into fists when they shook, threatening to undo my composure again. "I promise, Hales. I'll make sure everyone's okay. I won't let you down."
Tea. That's what I was doing. Kai wouldn't eat, and I couldn't get through the bolted bathroom door to Harvey, but the others would drink tea if I left it for them. And maybe Harvey would finally unlock the door.
So I choked back the howl of devastation in my throat and made tea.
"You're sure you'll be okay?" I asked Wane, my heart aching as I watched him fold his knees up to his chest on the sofa, the position surely uncomfortable.
"I'll be fine," he replied robotically.
Indecision made me freeze, but I made Haley a promise and I wasn't about to break it. I crossed the room and kissed the top of Wane's head, then forced myself to walk away.
There was a portal halfway across Edinburgh that fed into Hell, heavily guarded on the other side but open on this end. I barely felt the cold rain pelt me as I approached the portal, the magic invisible except for a glimmer in the air. Security had been tightened since the Battle of Prague—AKA the war of angels and demons. The appearance of each rift was changed to make them harder to find unless you were a demon and felt the sizzling thrum of its power.
I didn't hesitate; I plunged right into its crackling power and clenched my jaw as it spat me out in the middle of a muddy field in Hell, too close to the Forest of Halwen for me to think of anything but my mate.
"State your name and purpose," a guard barked with zero originality.
I braced my hands on my knees as I caught my breath, swaying, the effects of the portal brutal.
"Emlyn Johahn. I'm here to visit family in the capital."
To pick up a family member, actually, but he didn't need to know that. I'd left Verena here and raced to save Halwen, but instead of saving my mate I witnessed her death. It didn't sit right with me that Verena was in the palace alone. If I'd been smarter, if I hadn't been so wrecked, I'd have kept the pen and appeared right in the heart of the palace. I didn't even know what happened to it. My mate died and the whole world fell apart.
