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Virgil sighed. “It gets easier. You get used to your new home, settle into your new life. Then when you go home, you feel out of place there. Fun, huh?”
“Your definition of fun needs some work.”
He laughed. “You’ll be fine. The first few nights are the worst. You’re in one of those ancient dorms, right?”
“They’re private rooms now, but yeah,” I agreed, rubbing my eyes.
“There’s gotta be a supply closet somewhere. Go explore, raid it.”
“What has Australia done to you?” I asked with mock horror. “Explore? Raid? Who are you?”
“I’m you but better.”
“Alright, asshole, don’t quote memes at me. Go study or whatever you should be doing.”
“You were the one who called me, Prickly.”
“A lapse of judgement,” I assured him sweetly, and then sobered. “It’s not been the same at home without you.”
“I’ll be back at Christmas,” he reminded me. “That’s less than two months away.”
“If you think that sounds optimistic, I have some very bad news for you,” I drawled, my chest tightening. Two months until I could go home, until I saw Mum and Dad again, until I was in the same room as Virgil and Tannie. I didn’t know how I would do it.
Families were only allowed on the island to help us settle in, and only for a single day. After that, they weren’t permitted. I was completely cut off. If I hadn’t had my phone, I wouldn’t have heard from them for two months.
“You’ll be fine, Cat,” Virgil promised more seriously. “You got through what happened in—”
“I know,” I cut off, a shiver moving down my body, memories sinking teeth into me. “I’d rather not remember. Thanks.”
“I’m here if you need me.”
“I know,” I repeated, darkness closing in around me until I couldn’t breathe. “I’ve gotta go find a blanket. Talk soon.”
I put the phone down before he could reply, and flattened my hands over my ears like it would drown out the noise, the voice. But it was inside my head, my own memory weaponised, and there was no escaping.
I hadn’t really meant to go hunt down a utility closet, but I couldn’t lay here alone with my thoughts. So I threw off the covers, replaced them in the hopes they might hold onto the scrap of heat my body had left, and grabbed slippers and a velvet dressing gown I’d unpacked only hours ago.
It was silent in the hallway outside my room, but a silence I didn’t trust, like the building was holding its breath.
I knew memories were getting to me, encouraging my paranoia when this was literally just a building full of med students, but I couldn’t help but flinch at the shadows created by trees dancing outside the windows, gasping at a sudden glare of lightning. I hated storms.
The wind sounded like piercing screams, as if someone was wailing in grief in the Rosalind Woods.
It’s his mother, a dark voice whispered in my mind. She’s come to claim revenge for what you did to her son. You should make her pay, too. Make her regret raising a son like that.
I shuddered and walked faster, eyeing the numbered doors around me until I found one that wasn’t. I held my breath, skin prickling as I prepared for someone to jump out and find me doing something I shouldn’t. I opened the door slowly, wary of squeaking hinges.
Great. It was only cleaning solutions, mops, and buckets. I closed it carefully and moved on, goosebumps all down my arms and my breaths coming faster. The memories were too loud, history too close. I felt it like a shadow rearing over me, wanting to drag me down into the depths of Hell. Felt it reach out cold, clawed fingers, and I quickened my steps to outrun them, my chest closed off so I could only gasp.
I glanced down at my ring, but I didn’t feel queenly enough to rule my own mind right now, let alone anything else.
I wanted to keep going and run off the island, but I stopped at the next unmarked door, and exhaled a hard breath of relief, a tiny weight falling off my chest so I could gasp down air. There were towels and blankets and spare sheets here. I grabbed two blankets and a sheet for good measure, closed the door, and hurried back to my room.
I was no safer from my thoughts here than out in the hallway, but I felt better with a door between me and the outside world.
I cocooned myself in the blankets, added another pair of socks on my feet, and forced myself to breathe, to relax, to forget.
I slept fitfully, and woke to the tinkling xylophone of my phone’s alarm. Before I could even tell the alarm to fuck off, I jerked upright, blinking bleary eyes. Someone was standing across my room, watching while I slept and—
