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“I was supposed to be receiving a delivery for your sodding surprise fiftieth birthday party that Connie’s organising for you,” I blurt out, pushing him out of the way, “but you’ve ruined the whole flipping thing now, haven’t you.” There I’ve said it. “Happy bloody birthday, Daniel. Are you happy now?”
And with this I race down the stairs and wrench the front door open, he pounds down after me. A man in a green uniform is holding a box and smiling at me.
“Afternoon, delivery for Connie Taylor.” I push past him.
“Audrey wait,” Daniel cries.
“Delivery for Miss Connie Taylor?” the driver says to Daniel.
“Oh, get stuffed!” I hear him say, as he rushes behind me.“Audrey,” he shouts, but I’m already on the pavement hailing a black cab. “Why didn’t you say for Christ’s sake? Audrey.”
“Please,” I gasp at the driver, throwing a worried glance behind me. “Muswell Hill, and hurry.” The cabbie clocks Daniel running towards us, unlocks the doors quickly and I clamber into the back. We start moving, my mouth is dry, my heart is thrashing against my chest. Daniel is at the window, drumming his knuckles against the glass.
“Audrey, wait. Please. We need to talk!” He’s running alongside the cab, the indicators clang loudly, “I’m sorry,” he cries. He’s running faster, trying to keep up, his red tie flapping over his shoulder. “AUDREY!”
27
The cab driver glances at me in his rear-view mirror as we approach Fortis Green Road. I feel completely drained. What the hell just happened? How could Daniel speak to me like that? Accuse me of being an obsessed freak? A thief? Our first row…so soon. I knew he was too good to be true. I lean my head back against the headrest and it occurs to me that in eight years Nick never once raised his voice to me like that. In fact, I don’t think he was ever really angry with me. I close my eyes, taking a big gulp of air.
“Whereabouts in Muswell Hill, love?” asks the driver.
Right now all I want is a large gin and tonic and a long soak in the bath. I glance at my watch. It’s almost five-thirty. I lean forward.
“Actually, do you mind taking me to Nelson Road in Crouch End instead?”
“You’re the boss,” he says, smiling.
Nick’s new red Volkswagen Passat Estate is parked outside. The living room window is slightly ajar. He’s in. I ring the doorbell furiously. Within seconds, he’s at the door.
“Audrey.” Nick looks surprised to see me. He pulls the door behind him, not quite shut but enough to keep out the cold. I study his face, the bruises are fading, his freshly cut hair has taken years off him, and he looks nice and relaxed in a long-sleeved white t-shirt and faded blue jeans. “Well, this is a surprise.” He scratches his five o’clock shadow. “I thought you said you were out tonight.”
“Change of plans.” I shuffle on the doorstep, feeling awkward. Oh, what the hell am I doing here? I should never have come. What was I thinking? “I’ve had an arse of a day,” the words slip out of my mouth hurriedly, “I could really do with a drink and a friendly ear…erm… can I come in?” The wind has blown the door half open. He stands in front of it, rigid, blocking my view, then shoves his hands into his pockets.
“Actually, it’s not a good time. Audrey,” he grimaces. Oh God, he’s got a woman in there. I wonder if it’s her. I bet they were just getting it on.
“Oh,” I stammer. A shot of jealousy comes out of nowhere and almost knocks me out. “You’ve got company. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just turned up like this.” Turning away, I hurry down the steps.
“No, wait,” he says urgently, “don’t go.” I turn and slowly walk back up. He rubs the back of his neck, a sure sign that he’s anxious. “Are you okay? You look upset.” I tell him that I’m not really, that I could do with a stiff drink and a chat. “Look, give me half-an- hour,” he whispers, glancing behind him, “we can meet up then. I can come round to your place if you like.”
“That would be nice,” I smile. “But there’s really no need, I don’t want to spoil your plans.” And I don’t. He’s got every right to start dating again. He is, after all, a free agent now. Then just as I turn to leave, I catch sight of a woman’s silhouette behind him. “Who’s that?”
“No-one, it’s…” He tries to pull the door shut behind him but in his haste, he loses his grip and the door flies open.
“Nick,” a familiar woman’s voice says, “who is it?” She’s in full view now, standing before me bold as brass, a wicked grin dancing on her lips. Nick swings around and then covers his face with his hands. A half-naked Connie stands before me, a white bed sheet wrapped around her body like a Greek goddess. There’s a black enchantment heart tattoo on her left shoulder that I haven’t seen before, or at least never noticed. My stomach tightens.
“You bastard,” I say coldly, “you promised me.”
Nick looks at Connie aghast. I turn on my heel and hurry down the steps. “Audrey, wait. Come back, I can explain. AUDREY!” But I’m already rushing down the street. I look back as his front door slams, and just then I catch sight of Ronan climbing out of a black cab, overnight case in hand. I wonder what he’s doing here, talk about bad timing. I don’t want him to see me. I hurry down the street, tears of fury spilling from my eyes.
As I reach the bottom of the road, I feel sick. I stop running and steady myself against a street lamppost, gasping for breath. A bitter gust blows in my face. It’s turned chilly but I’m too wound up to feel the cold.
Trees are raging in the wind, hissing in my ears like chips frying in hot oil. It’s rush hour, commuters are heading home, hurrying by, talking into their mobile phones. A gawky teenage boy shuffles past, throwing me a confused look beneath his long fringe. A mature lady in a business suit stops, asks if I’m okay. I can’t believe this is happening to me – not all in one frigging day.
I start to calm as I reach The Broadway and see the bus stop in the distance, not long now and I’ll be in my warm, safe home, sipping a large gin and tonic in the bath. I wipe the cold, wet tears off my face with my fingers. Connie and Nick, I can’t believe it, Daniel will be furious. Oh, my God, Daniel. My eyes swell with fresh, hot tears. Talk about Jekyll and Hyde.
My mind starts racing as my heels click against the pavement hurriedly. Daniel didn’t really seem to mind me seeing the old photographs and childhood tokens. It’s the letters that infuriated him. What was in those envelopes? Why was he so anxious? What secrets is he hiding?
The W7 approaches as I stride up to the bus stop. The doors open, people start to shuffle on. I push my long fringe off my face. I ought to go home, get some rest, have a drink, a bath - give Tina or Louise a call, tell them what happened.
