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“Really?” I feel a slight tremor in my voice. “Did he ask you out again?” I smile at a toddler who’s wobbled up to our table. He stares back at me with a deadpan expression, twisting his left ear with one hand and clutching the leg of a worn-out teddy bear with the other. He knows. He can feel my tension. Children and animals have a sixth sense, don’t they? I close my eyes and take a gulp of air. I’m being paranoid. I’ve got to pull myself together.
“Jensen, leave the ladies alone,” says his mother, scooping him up in her arms and giving us an apologetic smile.
Tina smiles at the mother and then turns her attention back to me. “Nah, I only saw him for a few minutes, but I said I’d give him a call and he seemed REALLY pleased, didn’t he Lou? We exchanged numbers.”
“You do know he’s still married,” Louise replies cynically.
“Divorcing, babe.”
“Yeah, well he’s not divorced yet. You’d be the ‘other woman’ if you started dating him now.” I give a nervous little chuckle. It’s getting quite hot in here. Jensen has now thrown himself onto the floor and is screaming the place down.
“Oh, relax, Lou, will you.” Tina winks at me as Jensen wails in the background.
“Oh, come on, enough about bloody Ronan,” Louise interjects and I feel my muscles relax. “Is Jess okay with you for a few days, Audrey? Francesca will only be staying a week.” I nod, tell her it’s fine. “You okay? You seem a bit agitated. If it’s a problem…”
“No, no, it’s not Jess, that’s fine.” I begin, and then go on to tell them how Connie coaxed me into waiting for a delivery at Daniel’s flat, how he went berserk when he found me there, and about my visit to Aliki’s.
“Oh my God.” Tina’s hand shoots to her mouth, she’s on the edge of her seat.
“That’s awful, honey.” Louise lays a hand on my arm, “No wonder you’re so upset. And here’s us babbling on about our good news. What’re you going to do? I mean you don’t really know the facts, do you? There might be a perfectly good explanation for all this.”
“Yes, but if he’s lying to her already,” Tina says, “I’d cut my losses if I were you, Hun.” Tina’s always been team Nick.
“Just give him a chance to explain before you make any rash decisions,” Louise says, giving Tina an annoyed glance.
“So, what’s the latest with Nick, Louise?” Tina asks “Has his slut had the baby yet? He looked well peeved last night.”
“Tina!” Louise snaps, her face tight. “Audrey doesn’t need reminding about what that bastard did to her.” My stomach twists as Louise continues to slate Tina, her incipient fury bubbling away at the surface.
“Yeah, I know, I know.” Tina holds up her hands. “Sorry, Audrey. That was a bit insensitive of me. I just got a bit carried away.”
“Carried away?” Louise says incredulously, “You make it sound like it’s…”
They’re both talking at once, over each other, as if I were invisible, their voices louder and louder in my ears.
“Oh, will you please just shut the fuck up!” Shit, did I just say that out loud? A heavy silence hangs in the air, a stillness, as if someone has hit the pause button. They’re both staring at me, mouths agape, cups in mid-air.
I inhale deeply, taking in the smell of fresh coffee. “Oh, God, I’m sorry,” I mutter, pressing my palm against my forehead, “it’s been a tough twenty-four hours. Of course, I’m not okay with Nick and the baby. But he’s apologised and I’ve accepted. I don’t want to keep talking about it.”
Tina grins at her ringing mobile phone, Ronan, no doubt, by the look on her face. Louise looks at me gravely over her coffee cup, picking up on a vibe, and I deflate into my seat, shrinking into my shoulders – she knows me so well.
32
“You look terrible.”
“That bad, huh? I’ve had a rough couple of days, haven’t been sleeping well.”
“Well, I can’t stay long,” I stress as we walk along the golden leafed path. I love Highgate Woods at this time of year, there’s just something magical about it.
“I know,” Nick says, sounding grateful, “Thank you for coming. And at such short notice too.”
His text buzzed through this morning while I was still in bed having a much-needed Saturday morning lie in.
Can we meet in usual place at 12.30? It’s urgent. :/ xx
I didn’t have the heart to turn him down. It wasn’t his fault that Connie turned up unannounced, was it? What was he supposed to do if she barged into his flat, throw her out onto the streets? That wouldn’t have gone down well with me either.
We walk in companionable silence, leaves swishing around our feet. A sixty-something jogger trudges past in black shorts and worn out running shoes, his blue vest soaked in sweat, his grey, wiry hair damp against his leathered skin. Jesus, where does he get the energy from? I practically crawled out of bed this morning.
