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“I can’t,” he says urgently. I look at him aghast. I can’t believe he’s saying this. I thought today was supposed to be about honesty, put everything behind us. “It’ll destroy her, you know how proud she is of her Greek heritage. Besides, it’s been too long. She might hate me for it. I couldn’t bear that.”
“Daniel, she has a right to know who she is, for crying out loud.”
“No, no, that’s not going to happen. She’s a happy, confident young woman. It’ll break her,” he says firmly, then he looks at me sharply. “Promise me you won’t tell her.”
“Daniel, you’re being selfish.” He covers his ears with his hands, blocking out my words. “You’re going to have to tell her sooner or later.”
“No, I’m sorry, Audrey. I can’t risk it.” He undoes two buttons of his red polo shirt, cheeks flushed, neck covered in blotches, beads of sweat trickling down his forehead. “And I understand if this means you don’t want to be with me anymore.”
I run a finger along the seam of the sofa, circling one of the buttons thoughtfully. Yesterday, I was secretly hoping for something as drastic as this, that he’d give me an easy way out, but now that the exit is staring me in the face, I’m not so sure I want to walk through it.
“Daniel, how could Connie get to almost thirty and not know? I mean, didn’t she ever need her birth certificate?”
He shakes his head. “I always renewed her passport for her, you know what she’s like.” Yes, Daniel does most things for her. He’s like her P.A. “And she’s not married so never needed it for anything else.” He stretches his leg and winces. “She did ask for it a couple of times,” he says with a grimace. He must be in a lot of pain. I glance at my watch. I should leave. Let him get some rest. “Just out of curiosity, I think.”
“And?”
“I fobbed her off. The first time I told her it’d been lost during a move and that I’d applied for a duplicate. Then recently when she asked me again I told her Aliki accidently burned it during one of her clear-outs. Aliki backed me up, of course, and that was the end of that.”
“You can’t let her and Lily live a lie, Daniel. It isn’t fair.” He drops his head and then, to my surprise, his body starts shaking. I wrap my arms around him and he cries and cries and cries.
“Shhh,” I rub his arm, “Don’t worry. We’ll sort this out. Together.”
He looks up at me then, face wet with tears. “Does this mean I’m forgiven?”
“We all make mistakes.” I brush away his tears with my fingers then place a hand on his knee. “Let’s start again – a fresh slate.”
“No more secrets.” He cups his hand over mine, it’s warm and damp.
“No more secrets.” I brace myself. Confession time. “In fact, I’ve got something to tell you too.”
“Okay,” he sniffs, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. “Me first, though.”
“There’s more?” I ask, stunned.
“Just one more confession.” He raises a finger, “I want you to know everything about my past if we’re starting afresh. You need to know why my marriage ended.” I’m not sure I can handle any more secrets. “The reason Aliki and I divorced was because she had an affair.” I feel as if I’ve just been slapped across the face. Hard. “I know, shocking, isn’t it? Who’d have thought it, eh?” He strokes my cheek with the back of his fingers. I gaze at him, wordless. “Well, not an affair as such, it was more of a one-night thing.” I think I’m going to be sick. “It was my fault too.” He leans back and grips his knees tightly. I can see he’s still hurt by her betrayal. “We were apart a lot. I was too involved in our business, neglecting her. She was lonely. I get it, but…”
“Well, who was he? Did you know him? Are they together now?” I know I’m asking too many questions but I must know everything.
“His name was Fanos, married with three small children. And no, there was never a relationship. He was the top salesman of our Larnaca office. Aliki regretted it immediately and confessed the next day.” He leans forward, rests his forearms on his knees and stares at his feet.
“And you couldn’t forgive her?” I crane my neck to get a better look at him, gauge his expression.
“No, I could. I did.” Phew, thank goodness. “We tried for a while but I couldn’t get past it. I kept imagining them together.”
“Oh,” I gulp, “I see.” There’s a dark silence punctured by the sound of banging and then cheering through the walls.
“New neighbours.” Daniel rolls his eyes, “Teenage sons. Anyway.” He reaches for a box of ibuprofen on the coffee table, “That’s my lot. Your turn now.” I stare at him wide-eyed. I don’t know what to say. He’s just confessed to divorcing his wife over a one-night stand. He’ll never forgive me. My breath quickens, my cheeks burn. “Hey, don’t look so frightened. Whatever it is it can’t be much worse than what I’ve just told you.” He eases two tablets out of a blister pack and knocks them back with a glug of water, all the while regarding me.
“I saw Nick yesterday afternoon,” I blurt out. His face darkens as he leans back in his seat, elbow on the wooden armrest, hand over his mouth. “We went for a walk in Highgate Woods. He just wanted to talk about his accident and stuff. He’s having all these headaches, migraines, I think, and hallucinations and peculiar nightmares, and…” I’m blabbering but I can’t seem to stop myself. “I think he needed a friend and a shoulder to cry on, that’s all. I mean, you’re still friends with Aliki, aren’t you, so I -”
“Phew,” he cuts in, “for a moment there I thought you were going to tell me you’d slept with him. I couldn’t bear that.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” I giggle nervously, and he smiles, pulling me into his arms.
“I know, I know, I’m sorry.” I lay my head on his chest and he strokes my hair. “My perfect Cinderella would never cheat on me.” Perfect? Ha. If only he knew. I bite my thumbnail, listening to the thud of his heart. “You won’t be seeing him again, though, will you?” I frown, why did he just say that? He still sees Aliki. He gently plays with my hair as I focus on the gold Buddha in the fireplace. “Connie said she went to see him about some photo gig.” I go stiff in his arms. “Said she got the notion that he’s still in love with you, wants you back.” I don’t suppose she told him that she stripped naked and climbed into his bed, though, did she?
“Promise me you’ll tell Connie about Sophie, Daniel?” I say, veering off the subject of Nick.
