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‘Consider it a dry run?’ I suggest. ‘You can practise your dating technique on me. Maybe I’ll even give you feedback and pointers along the way.’
‘I’m sure the offers will come flying in after that,’ he teases.
‘Oi! There’s no need to be rude. Tip number one, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.’
‘You’re absolutely right.’ He grins. ‘Please accept my sincere apology.’
‘You wouldn’t know a sincere apology if it bit you on the butt.’
Joe shifts so that he’s facing me on the sofa and I turn to mirror him.
‘Sophie, what happened with your ex-husband? Does he not see Lila? You said there was a “whole drama” there when we went out for pizza.’
‘That wasn’t a practice chat-up line, was it? Because I’d say you’re missing your mark by a loooong way.’
He gives me a look which makes me laugh before I resettle.
‘Ex-husband? Oof.’ I exhale. ‘“Whole drama” is kind of an understatement.’
‘Tell me to get lost if this is too personal,’ Joe says.
‘No, it’s fine,’ I reply. ‘My sister Poppy calls Mark a “complete turd” and she’s probably not wrong. We met at university. I’d started selling toasties on campus to make some cash. The toastie stall got really popular, especially the vegan ones I made, and one of my regulars was Mark. He offered to throw in some seed money to help grow the brand outside of uni and it snowballed. It was my idea and my business acumen that built it up, alongside his contacts and the start-up cash from his family. It was flying by the time I got pregnant. We now have – or rather he now has – a handful of cafés called Mylk It across London.’
‘But it didn’t work out?’
‘Mark didn’t want kids.’ I shrug. ‘Most parents talk of the love they felt for their child from the moment they were born but for me, it happened nine months earlier. Those two unexpected lines on a pregnancy test changed everything. My marital status. My career. The city I lived in. That tiny bundle of cells become my new centre of gravity and I’ve been basically obsessed with Lila ever since, to the point where she will probably need therapy when she’s older.’
Joe grins knowingly.
‘Obviously I’m less obsessed with her when she wakes me up at five a.m. but you know what I mean, right? When I got pregnant I also found out he was being unfaithful and I knew I just had to get out. Completely out. My lawyer thought I was mad not to ask for financial support from him but I was insistent. All I wanted was sole custody because if Mark wasn’t going to support us emotionally then I didn’t want any money from him either.’
I pause. Joe’s watching me with a sort of brooding intensity.
‘So I sold my shares in the company, kept a stake for Lila to secure her future, moved back to Bristol and started working as a consultant for other businesses instead.’
Joe lets out a low whistle. ‘You’re a tough cookie, Sophie.’
‘I have a bit of a stubborn streak.’
‘And where is he now?’
‘Still in London running my old business.’
Joe looks put out on my behalf. ‘That’s a lot to give up.’
I pause to take another sip of hot chocolate. ‘I don’t feel like I gave it up, more that I chose to move forward. It was all on my terms. I’m incredibly proud that I built something successful but that business is tinted with bad memories for me now, and I have a much more balanced life these days. I choose my clients, I work flexible hours and I’m home on time to see Lila most days. I couldn’t ask for more than that.’
Joe nudges my mug with his. ‘Cheers to that.’
Emboldened by the flow of conversation, I find the questions I’ve been so keen to ask come pouring out.
‘Do you want to find love again, like those two?’ I nod towards the TV.
‘I mean, I’m not sure I could handle all the manscaping involved in that guy’s incredibly smooth appearance. And I have a feeling Stilettos at the Pool might be a bit intense for me?’
‘What? I bet she’d love it if you sang love songs to her on your guitar.’ I grin.
Joe smiles, briefly catching my eye. ‘To answer your question, for a long time I thought that was it, you know? Claire was the love of my life. But I don’t like to picture myself going through life alone. It’s weird, Claire and I had a discussion about this before she died. She said: “If I’m not around, I want you to seek happiness. I want you to live.”’ He pauses, nods. ‘I’d said exactly the same to her but it’s easy when it’s hypothetical, isn’t it?’
