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‘I just think we need to keep our eyes on the prize.’ I squirm at myself. ‘You know, remember why we’re doing this? I really don’t want to mess things up.’
Joe nods. Climbs into bed.
‘Understood. Good night, Sophie.’
I do not sleep. Every time I close my eyes I find myself fantasising about rolling over in bed and straddling Joe. I stay very firmly on my side though, wrapped up in a duvet burrito. I can’t risk us touching. I need to snap out of this but that seems impossible with the sheer physicality of Joe lying next to me in bed. In the end I pull out my phone and scroll through work emails, the least sexy task there is, before drifting off into a fitful sleep.
Chapter 20
I leap out of bed with a renewed sense of purpose this morning, keen to put whatever vibes were … vibrating last night behind me. Joe, too, seems focused on escaping the close quarters of our bedroom and we dress briskly before heading downstairs to find a breakfast spread awaiting us.
‘Bloody hell, what happened to you?’ Frankie asks Joe on sight of his swollen lip.
‘Eh? Oh, I had a run-in with the bathroom cabinet.’ Joe flashes me a look.
‘Poor Joe!’ Celeste sweeps over. ‘Come with me, I have all sorts of things that will help.’
She steers Joe upstairs while I guiltily migrate over to Frankie and the basket of fresh croissants she’s commandeered. I have chosen croissants over protecting Joe but honestly, I just need a minute. We’re deep in conversation when I spot Joe and Celeste coming back into the kitchen with Celeste holding a Cath Kidston first-aid kit. She appears to be offering to administer a plaster and an ice pack. He looks terrified.
‘Poor Joe,’ Frankie laments, buttering a croissant. ‘Must be hard being such a hot piece of ass.’
‘Frankie!’
‘What?’
‘Piece of ass?’ I repeat. ‘Aren’t we all a bit too post #MeToo to be coming out with lines like that?’
‘Oh come on, we’re all thinking it. Besides, Joe’s a white, heterosexual male. He’s not exactly had a tough time of it in the grand scheme of things, has he? I think we can objectify him just a tiny bit.’
‘I’m not sure this point of view would stand up to ethical scrutiny,’ I point out, grinning as Frankie rolls her eyes at me.
‘I’m sure he has plenty of other great qualities too,’ she says and smiles. ‘But let’s just say we all appreciate his presence at the school gates. Especially Celeste, her crush is out of control.’
‘You’ve noticed it too?’ I’m relieved to know that someone else has picked up on all the times Celeste has tried to commandeer Joe and all the times she’s been quite rude to me.
‘She’s not exactly subtle about it. I’d feel sorry for Douglas if he weren’t such a complete …’ She pauses to think of the right word.
‘Douglas?’ I offer and Frankie laughs.
We both wave over at a squirming Joe, which he takes as ample excuse to remove himself from Celeste and dashes to us. The look on his face when he pulls up a chair next to us is priceless.
‘Thanks, guys,’ he huffs. ‘Appreciate the support there.’
‘I would have come over but—’
‘You looked like you were really enjoying yourself,’ Frankie jokes. ‘Did Celeste offer to don a nurse’s uniform for you?’
‘That’s a terrifying prospect,’ Joe says and chuckles, before turning his piercing gaze towards me. ‘What happened to your pinky promise?’
‘I am sorry,’ I insist solemnly, trying to look chastised. ‘Frankie and I were just …’
‘Eating croissants and watching the show,’ Frankie chips in. ‘Anyway, you’re a big boy, you can handle yourself! And I’m not just talking about in the bedroom when I say that, by the way. Some of the sex stories Sophie’s been sharing with us …’ Frankie is positively cackling now and she fans herself with a pain aux raisin.
Joe gives me a despairing look as Frankie potters off to the coffee machine.
‘What?’ I protest, and I can’t help but laugh. ‘She’s just teasing you, I haven’t said a word.’
‘I believe you. Millions wouldn’t,’ Joe says as he helps himself to my croissant. ‘I was thinking, maybe I could steal you away this morning?’
