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‘Have fun?’ asks Frankie as we clatter into the hallway. She’s in a towelling robe with her hair completely slicked back off her face.
Joe and I share a look. ‘Yeah, we did,’ we reply in unison. After the fish and chips we laughed over the pictures our parents sent us of the kids. Lila persuaded Mum to let her wear the bright orange pumpkin-shaped sumo suit to the playground, of all places, and she even managed to squeeze onto a swing in it. Denise had messaged Joe to say that Sidney went to sleep asking what a cheese fondue was. And then we found ourselves sharing some of the other batshit things our children have come out with. By the time we were back in the car and heading back to the barn, I felt restored.
‘Well, I’m Zen as fuck,’ Frankie says. ‘Massages all day long! Everyone else got roped into the gong bath but that seemed like a load of pretentious shit to me, so I persuaded the masseuses to stay a little longer. Feel this.’
She pulls back an arm of her robe and I stroke her skin.
‘Ooh, soft!’ I say appreciatively.
‘I know! Everyone’s getting ready for tonight now.’
‘Right, maybe we should do the same?’ I shoot Joe a look.
‘Did you get the sequins memo, Joe?’
‘Did I get the what?’
‘Just kidding,’ she belly-laughs. ‘Tally is wearing sequins for our fancy dinner tonight though. She’s been on that bloody phone all day telling her fans about a big outfit reveal later. I don’t understand it but then I only have eighty-six followers on Instagram.’
With that, Frankie potters off to her room and Joe and I follow suit. I’m halfway through curling my eyelashes when my phone pings with a message.
Sophie Rogers + Guest
Alexis and Chase are getting hitched!
Please join us to celebrate, 10th July from midday
An invite with a plus one? Usually when it comes to weddings I’m invited on my own and squeezed onto a table of couples.
‘I just got invited to an old friend’s wedding,’ I call through to Joe in the bathroom, keen to share. ‘Alexis and I grew up in the same village and Poppy’s doing her wedding photography.’
‘I love a good wedding,’ replies Joe.
It’s really thoughtful of Alexis to give me the chance to bring a friend. And now that I think about it, Joe would be the perfect addition, mostly because we’d have a right laugh, but it would also fit in well with the progress of our ‘romance’ I guess.
‘Wanna come with me?’ I ask.
‘Sure, sounds great. As you already know, I am exceptional on the dancefloor,’ he says, and I can hear the smile in his voice. I turn back to the mirror and wriggle out of my jeans. Not sure what to expect the others would wear, I’d packed a few evening options, but given the sheer scale of this lavish pad and the fact that Tally doesn’t do things by halves, I’ve decided to go all out. A one-shoulder, burnt-orange dress with heels. I’ve gone for big hair and a strong lipstick, too.
Joe comes out of the bathroom looking smarter than I’ve seen him before. He’s ditched his trademark look – sexy intellectual lumberjack – and is wearing a striped shirt tucked into smart blue trousers with a blazer. Even I can see that this get-up looks good against his pale skin and deep brown hair and really I have got to stop having inappropriate thoughts about Joe soon.
‘You look great,’ I say.
‘Thanks.’ As he turns to look at me he exhales and averts his gaze almost instantly. ‘So do you.’
Feeling uncharacteristically bashful, I say: ‘Shall we do this?’
‘Let’s,’ he says, and I link my arm through his.
As well as an impeccable meal with wines paired to each course, there are candles glittering on every surface, the words ‘hello forty’ written across a wall in strip lights, vibrant flower displays along the large dining table and even a magician to keep us entertained in between courses. Frankie, who’s putting the sparkling wine to good use, has mistaken tonight for a hen do and keeps asking him if he’s here to take his clothes off, much to my amusement.
‘Bloody hell,’ says her partner Dave after the third heckle. ‘Shall I just get my kit off instead?’
‘Hell no,’ Frankie insists, motioning towards his crotch. ‘We’ve got three kids, Dave. You’re keeping that thing locked up until you’ve had the snip.’
Even Celeste and Douglas seem to be enjoying the bawdy chat. I find Celeste loitering by a balloon display after the fourth course. Or is it fifth? I’m losing count.
‘I like your dress,’ I say to her.
