Page 38 of Sick Little Devotion

“I don’t want to use them.” Aiden looks me right in the eye. “I don’t want to ever use them again, but Will—”

“Stop trying to blame everyone else for your addictions,” I hiss at him, anger replacing my sympathy. “You don’t even know what you’re saying. You’re just fucked up in the head right now, and you’re imagining that Will is still out to get you. He kicked you out a year ago. Years. He doesn’t talk about you. He doesn’t care.”

“You’re not listening to me, Sara!” Aiden shouts, throwing his hands up in the air. “You only hear what you want. I’m not your fucking mom. I’m not out to be an addict. Please listen to me.”

I bat away the tears. “No, you listen to me. I’m tired of the excuses. Be the man you said you’d be or get the hell out of my life.”

His brows furrow, and his voice softens. “You really don’t believe me.”

I stifle the sob and the pain that’s searing through my chest.

“I believe that you’re a good man, Aiden, but you’ve been through a lot—and you’re lost.”

He nods slowly, swallowing hard and drawing his gaze from mine. “I’m not fucking lost. I told you I would save you. I stayed around to make sure you’re safe instead of running away from the place and people trying to kill me—all for you. It’s always been for you, and you’ll say I’m crazy, just so you don’t have to face the truth.”

“That’s not true,” I argue, reaching down to help him up from the floor. “And if that was the truth, I would’ve just left you in the alley instead of helping you to come home.”

He glares at my hand, but then takes it. Aiden is so much bigger than me, and it takes everything I have to pick him up off the floor. He sways, his body leaning against mine. If he was sober, I’d be overjoyed at the closeness, but instead, I only focus on guiding him to my bed.

“You need to rest.”

“I shouldn’t come here. He can hurt you.”

Once again, I’m stung by his words. I don’t say anything back to that, tucking him in like he’s a small child. It feels as though the tables have turned on us, and now I have to be the adult in the situation. I walk around the bed and climb in beside him, scooting away from his touch. He grunts something that I can’t make out, and I close my eyes.

Is this really what we’ve become? How is he going to get me out of here when he can’t even get himself to my window?

The memories fade as I lift my head from the pillow my face is buried in. It’s a reminder that not every day with Aiden was a good one. Though, after he disappeared, my mind had focused more on the good than the bad, still taunting me with how he let me down…

But how did he go from that Aiden to this one? My mind can’t wrap itself around any tangible ideas of what might’ve happened to him. He’s gone from being a poor college kid to suddenly… what? A millionaire? Billionaire? I couldn’t even put a price on this mega-house we were in, and he had people working for him.

I want to jump up and ask him. I want to demand that he tell me what has happened in the years between us. However, I don’t want to give him anything. I don’t want him to think that I’m bending to his will—even though, I clearly am. My body wants him, and even in its broken, dilapidated condition, my heart still wants him, too. It’s always been that way, even when he was high out of his mind and blaming everyone but himself.

I sigh, sitting up and running my fingers through my hair. “I hate you, Aiden. I hate you because I love you.” The words come out in a whisper. I eye the door, terrified of what might happen if he hears me. I don’t know this new Aiden or how he would react, and that’s terrifying.

Chapter Eighteen

AIDEN

My frustrated footsteps echo in the hallway as I make my way to the bedroom. I don’t want to bombard Sara when she’s upset. That being said, she has to understand how things work around here. She can’t demand answers from me in front of others. I don’t care if she does it when we’re alone—or even in front of the house staff.

But not in front of my business employees.

I don’t need anyone thinking they might be able to get the jump on me. It would be bad for everyone involved—Sara included. I get to the bedroom door and pause just outside, listening. There’s nothing but silence, and while it leaves me unnerved, it’s better than hearing her sobbing.

I take a deep breath and knock. It’s time for her to know the truth. And I’ll make sure I don’t have any interruptions this time around.

“Sara,” I say softly. “We need to talk about what happened.” I hear a shuffle on the other side of the door, and I wait, wondering if she’s actually going to answer. Much to my relief, the door swings open, and Sara steps aside, letting me in.

I take in the sight of her arms folded across her chest and her eyes puffy from crying. I hate what I see. I wanted this entire experience to be a good thing—not whatever this is.

“Well?” she asks, her tone sharp and callous.

“I think you need to understand how things work around here,” I begin, clearing my throat. “When I say go, you must go. When I say to shut up and leave it, I mean it—”

“Wow, okay. So you’re not a controlling—”

“Let me finish what I’m trying to say,” I assert firmly, bristling at the interruption. “I run a lucrative business, and if I’m weak to anyone that comes around, it could get both of us hurt or killed. You have to fucking listen to me.”