Page 33 of Spin the Damn Bottle

CHAPTER NINETEEN

I usually walk to PE with Willow, but when we're all done with our lunch, I look at her apologetically before glaring at Jason. "You don't mind if we have a quick chat?"

By chat, I mean that I'm about to scream at him for five minutes straight, and he must know it, yet he seems completely at ease. "Of course, doll."

I clear my tray and leave the cafeteria without checking if he's following, anger and confusion churning inside me. What is he up to now?

I've only exited the revolving doors when I turn on my heels and stab my finger against his hard chest. "What the hell was that, Alden? You're supposed to leave me the fuck alone."

"And I have, for a whole fucking month," he reminds me. "How did you like it,Reyes?"

I hated it, but that's beside the point. "I liked not being set on fire."

He rolls his eyes, nonchalantly throwing his arm around my shoulder and leading the way toward the gym. "See, I see your point, I really do. The issue is, if no one's trying to set you on fire, I have little chance of catching them."

My jaw opens and stays that way for a good long while. "What the fuck? Seriously, what the hell. You want to lure a psycho in, dangling me like a carrot in front of them until they snap?"

"When you say it that way, it sounds bad."

"Because it is." I shrug his arm off my shoulder. "I don't want to end up in the hospital again—or worse!"

"You won't." He's adamant, confident as ever, like he controls everything. But if he did, we wouldn't be in this situation.

"I'm not taking that chance, Jason."

"Oh, but you will. Now, next year, in five years. Do you truly think that someone willing to snuff you out is going to give up after we leave Cross?" We don't pass many students in the hall this close to the start of the next period, but his voice is low, so I doubt they can hear our conversation. "Someone this determined to make sure we're not together is going to crack sooner or later. If they do it here and now, I can control the situation. I have eyes everywhere, following you at all times. It's much safer to let things play out here."

It's not that I don't understand his reasoning, I just don't agree it's worth the risk. "Maybe you should just stay away from me, in that case."

He stops, and takes my wrist to make me face him. Then his hand moves to my chin, soft as ever. "You want to give up on this?" His eyes search mine. "On us?"

I try to look away, but his fingers push my face up higher, firmer now. "I don't want to be hurt again. I don't want todie." And hecan't afford to lose someone else either. To risk losing whatever shred of humanity is left in him. Jason's cold and detached most of the time. He barely lets anyone in. He would never have seen me if I hadn't made him at his brother's funeral. He can't endure another loss. I won't let him.

"You could cross the road and be hit by a car tomorrow."

"Sure, but goading a psycho is more like willingly crossing the highway on foot."

"I'll keep you safe, Nadia."

I huff, losing steam, because arguing with him is a headache. He's not one to change his mind, whatever I say, however reasonable I am. "Like you did that night?" I know my words are a slap in the face, but he needs to hear them. "You're not all powerful."

"I didn't know anyone was after you before. I should have protected you regardless. I'm sorry."

Jason doesn't often apologize—make that never. I know it must have cost him to admit to something he considers a failure, so I sigh and take a step toward him, my hand pressing to his chest. "It wasn't your fault. I mean, it might have happened because of you, but you are not responsible for my safety.Iam. And I've decided to put it first." He deserves the truth, so I say it. "I hate that we have to be apart, Jace. Truly. I hate when you say hi and nothing else to me. I hate that you don't ever look at me or touch me. But you know what I'd hate more? Getting hurt, and you losing it because you'll know—and you will know—we could have prevented it by doing things my way."

He wordlessly closes his eyes. As seconds trickle by, I think I actually got through to him. He's coming to terms with my decision. Right?

"No."

He moves my hand from his chest and slams me against the nearest row of lockers, before taking my mouth in a ravenous, all-consuming kiss.

"Jason," I manage on a shaky breath.

He growls against my lips and sweeps me off my feet, pulling my legs around his waist. I can feel his hard length right against me through our clothing. He pushes his hips up, rubbing against me through our clothes, and tearing a long grunt from my throat.

I push against his chest, knowing he's kissing me because he's making a point. A point I'm fully aware of. I want him; he wants me. The chemistry between us is out of this world. That doesn't negate any of my reasons for wanting to stay away.

My effort means nothing. I might as well attempt to lift an SUV. The only way he's moving is if he wants to.