Page 22 of Stay Toxic

It’s not that I’m not tempted. The idea did cross my mind. But with some hindsight I can read between the lines. While the letter was aggressive, it also sounded…hurt?

My shits are reserved for his victims.

I’m new here, which means I was assigned to someone who attended Rothford before, and from the subtext, I think he—or she, women can be dicks, too, though I’m almost certain it’s a guy—knew the kids who died last year. And if that’s the case, well, I don’t want to add more trouble to his plate.

Besides, I’m not a snitch.I’m not about to fuck with someone’s doctorate because they weren’t nice to me.

“I’m sorry to hear that. You know, technically, you can always just answer the questions, and leave it at that. You don’t even have to read their answer if they’re not nice. Toss it in the trash as soon as you get it.”

That’s useful, and accurate. I reread the specifications of the program, and yep, the only thing we’re mandated to do is answer the question the faculty asks every week.

The following week, I’m determined to do just that. I’m good for a week as I immediately replied, so I don’t check until the next Thursday.

In less than two weeks in Thorn Falls, I’ve already established a routine, centered around my roommate, my best friend, the library, and avoiding my roommate’s boyfriend whenever I see him in the halls. Which is a lot, surprisingly. I’m in law school and literature, which means my classes mostly happen in Silver Hall, while all the sciences tend to be in The Dome. But I go to The Dome to swim, and apparently, our schedules are similar, because I tend to see him most mornings. And I hide.

I’m not a coward, per se. I just don’t like the way he makes me feel. Maybe I can’t settle the cacophony of butterflies partying in my damn stomach every time he’s near, but I can at least make sure that doesn’t happen often.

Unfortunately, Sebastian also frequents the library. Mercifully, he tends to stick to the fourth floor, while I’m hiding up on the seventh floor, even when I have to pick up books from other sections. I’ve chosen a favorite alcove, and I find myself returning to it every day.

I’m perfectly pleasant and polite when I can’t avoid him. Like right now.

He’s wearing a tight T-shirt, dark gray. It hugs his muscles in a way that should be illegal.

“Hi, Sebastian.” I even smile.

“Pervert.”The corner of his lips goes up into that damn smirk. “There’s a pool party tomorrow afternoon at my cousin’s house. Feel like going with me?”

What the hell?

“No, thank you.” I flush, and hurry down the stairs, squeezing a book to my chest.

Why would he ask me to a damn pool party? He has a girlfriend! Or something. Right?

That’s how I find myself at the student center, to check my Dear Stranger mail, although I didn’t intend to pick it up until the last possible moment tomorrow.

My heart is beating hard and fast and I know, I just know, that I’m going to read the damn letter I should just throw in the trash. If only because anger over whatever’s written on there is a good distraction from my roommate’s boyfriend’s lips.

11

Dear Loser,

Why didn’t you go to the damn concert? You’re in college. Partying with friends is literally what this hellhole is for.

Stay weird

That’s…not as aggressive or rude as I would have expected. No invitation to off myself. In fact, unless I’m mistaken, he’s telling me to go out more. Which in other circumstances, might not have been the worst of advice, really.

He completely failed to answer this week’s question, about making friends, but I’ll take it. Besides, he’s not the one new in town. He probably has plenty of friends already.

Or not. He’s a bit of a dick, so maybe he’s an unpopular, brooding loner.

Unlike last week, I’m not immediately inspired to volley back a rude answer. I get back to my room and get some work started, before getting the correspondence paper I bought for the pen pal thing and writing a reply. It’s more amused than angry, this time.

Dear Psychopath,

You know that’s not how it works right? You owe me an answer: did you make friends this week?

As for this week’s answer, because I can actually follow simple assignments: the classes are challenging, and fast-paced, sure, but I love some of them. I was bored to tears during my pre-law undergrad.