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“You’re smiling,” John said as he walked into the living room.
“I’m thinking about Christmas. Did you know that there are about 28 million real Christmas trees sold in America each year?”
“Really?”
“And there are close to 350 million Christmas trees being grown at the moment.”
“Fascinating.” John handed her a mug. “Be careful, it’s hot. What other stupendous facts have you memorized?”
Rachel narrowed her eyes at his smiling face. “Don’t be too quick to laugh. I make a great partner in a game of Trivial Pursuits.”
“I’m sure you do.” John sat beside her and took a sip of his drink. When she didn’t say anything, he smiled. “Okay. Blow me away with more intriguing facts.”
“Did you know that the grizzly bear is the official state animal of California, but no grizzly bears have been seen there since 1922?”
“No, I can’t say I did know that. Keep going.”
Rachel went through all of the trivia she’d filed away inside her head and looked for the oddest fact she could find. “In more than half of all US states, the highest paid public employee is a football coach.”
“You’re joking?”
“I kid you not,” Rachel said with a smile. “And did you know that there are 60,000 miles of blood vessels in your body. If they were stretched out in a single line, they’d go around the planet more than twice.”
John held his hand out in front of him. “That has to be seriously wrong.”
“Nope. I read it in a science journal.”
“You know not to believe everything you read, don’t you?”
Rachel sighed. “There’s a big difference between knowing something and believing in it. Take Santa Claus, for instance.”
“I have no idea where you’re going with this.”
“You don’t need to. All you have to do is listen.” She looked over her shoulder in case Bella had come downstairs. “Most adults know that Santa doesn’t exist. But if all of those adults suddenly gave up believing in Santa, the world economy would collapse. Last year, there were over three trillion dollars’ worth of Christmas sales in America alone. People want to believe in the magic. They want their children to believe in Santa Claus. We make up stories about how Santa will still visit houses with no fireplace. We leave carrots and cookies on a plate by the Christmas tree and make sure there are only crumbs left in the morning. It’s part of the magic.”
“But blood vessels are different to Santa Claus.”
Rachel sighed. “Of course, they are. But isn’t it amazing to think that your blood vessels could stretch around the world, not once, but twice? Even though it’s true, it’s still magic.”
“Not for the person who did the calculation. How do you think they worked it out?”
“I don’t want to know,” Rachel mumbled. “My imagination isn’t painting a pretty picture.” She blocked the images crowding her mind and focused on the fire in front of her. Even though it was late, she was glad of John’s company. When he wasn’t busy working he had a stillness about him that she appreciated. His sense of humor wasn’t bad, either. And if she dug really deep, she was sure she’d find someone who still believed in magic.
John stretched his legs out. “Bella was born on a night like this. We’d had the worst weather anyone had seen in a decade. Snowdrifts were covering people’s vehicles and getting anywhere was a nightmare.”
“Did you make it to the hospital?”
“Jacinta delivered Bella in our apartment. I was on leave and Bella wasn’t due for another six weeks.” John’s gaze settled on the fireplace. The orange and red flames danced in the grate, moving in time with the wind whistling down the chimney. “I don’t regret many things in my life, but not spending more time with Jacinta and Bella is one of them.”
Rachel sipped her hot chocolate. She thought about her own mom and dad, the loneliness that had become as familiar to her as breathing. “My parents worked long hours. Even though we all lived together, there weren’t many times when we were all in the same place at the same time. It was hard.”
“Is that why you were worried about Bella being lonely when I first met you?”
Rachel nodded. “I was an only child, too. I thought Bella wanted a mom because she was on her own all of the time. I didn’t realize that Bella had friends that helped fill the gaps. Mrs. Daniels loves her as if she was her own granddaughter.”
“Patty is special, but you were right. It’s too easy to think that Bella has everything she needs. Even though she’s got people around her that care, it still doesn’t replace me not being here.”
“Will you be able to spend more time with her once the drone problem is over?”
“I’m going to make sure I do.” John turned to her. “You never talk about your mom and dad. Do you see them very often?”
“I’m going to see them tomorrow night for dinner.” John’s gaze sharpened. “Don’t worry. Tanner has drawn the short straw and is coming with me. Mom got excited when I told her I was bringing someone. She thought Tanner was my boyfriend.”
“Was she disappointed when you told her he wasn’t?”
Rachel wasn’t sure whether her mom had been disappointed for the reasons John meant. “I’ve given up trying to understand my parents. I’ve taken a lot of boyfriends home and they’re used to seeing people pop in and out of my life.”
John’s face became wary. “You date a lot?”
“I used to.” Rachel sighed. “My mom told me I had no stickability. A couple of years ago I got engaged and mom couldn’t have been happier. When I called the wedding off it just reinforced what she’d been telling me for years.”
“Why didn’t you get married?”
Rachel felt her face turn as hot as the fire in front of her. She didn’t like talking about the stupidest thing she’d ever done. As well as being embarrassing, it had made her feel like a leper in her own town.
“Rachel?”
“I’d rather not talk about it.” She could feel John’s gaze drilling into her, trying to figure out what could have been so bad.
“Are you sure?”
“You did a security check on me before I started working with Bella. I thought that would have told you everything?”
John’s lips twitched. “It told me that you’re not bankrupt, that you have no criminal convictions, and that you took a year off full-time work. It didn’t tell me why you decided not to get married.”
“In case you’re wondering, I didn’t take time off work because of a broken heart. Dad had an accident and he needed someone to look after him. He’s better now, which is why I’m going back to full-time teaching.”
“Glad to know it.”
Rachel crossed her arms in front of her chest. “If I tell you, you can’t laugh or say anything weird. Most of the town knows why I didn’t get married. They’ll be stunned if I ever find someone who wants to walk down the aisle with me.”
“It couldn’t have been that bad?”
“I drunk too many cocktails at my bachelorette party and I kissed a total stranger. It turned out that the stranger was my fiancé’s cousin. Everything went downhill really fast from there.”
“You called your wedding off because you kissed another man?”
“It wasn’t just any man,” she muttered. “It was Jeremiah’s cousin. And it wasn’t just a peck on the lips. It was a full throttle, in your face, kind of kiss.”
John clamped his mouth together and didn’t say a word. The wind and rain lashed against the side of the house, the fire hissed and spat, and he still didn’t say anything.
“I think you’re the only person that hasn’t judged me.” Rachel rearranged the blanket around her shoulders and looked at John. “Everyone that heard the story was quick to take sides. It was either the luckiest escape I’d ever had or I’d turned into the biggest tease this side of the Rockies. No matter which way I looked at it, I was doomed.”
John’s lips twitched. “Doomed?”
“I stopped dating. I decided that my girlfriends were better company than men.”
“And now?”
“Now I date, but I’m more selective.” Rachel had a whole set of criteria that a man had to pass before anything got serious. She wasn’t making the same mistake twice.
“Wise move.”
“I think so. What about you?”
John cleared his throat. “Me?”
“Do you date?”
“Not much.”
“Oh.”
“That doesn’t mean that I’m not open to the possibility.”
Rachel blinked. She glanced quickly at John and blushed beet red when she saw him looking at her. All of the bad girl thoughts that she’d hidden away were starting to make a sneaky appearance.
John lifted his hand and pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. “If I were to date someone, she’d have to like Bella, have a good sense of humor, and not be worried about what I own.”
