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When I tried to open my eyes, I couldn’t.
Warmth started to pour down my chest, and I heard some loud sounds coming from above me.
Code blue. Code blue.
What was code blue?
I was beyond caring at that point. My head was pounding, and I couldn’t scrounge up the urge to care about anything.
Anything that is, except for Georgia’s beautiful eyes. The way her voice sounded in the morning, all husky and rough from sleep. The way she used to laugh over her shoulder at something I’d said.
We need a crash cart in here. Epi. I need some epi. Stat.
Then I slipped into something blissfully close to peace for the first time in nearly eight years.
I love you, baby love.***Georgia
I woke up five hours later on the couch to a knock on the door.
My cheek was plastered to the leather by a thin layer of what I could only assume was spit, and I was fairly sure I looked really crappy.
I’d fallen asleep waiting for Nico to get back, and had finally laid down on his couch so I could see him the moment he came in through the door.
Except he hadn’t come in through the door.
He most definitely wouldn’t have knocked.
I found Bennett at the door.
He didn’t even have to tell me.
The look on his face, and the red around his eyes denoting that he’d been crying…or had been trying really hard not to cry, was enough.
Nico was dead.
And I was alone again.
“No,” I shook my head. “No, Bennett. Please don’t do this to me. Please.”
His head dropped, and I lost it.
But through my tears I remembered.
My hand drifted down to my belly. To the unborn life residing beneath the palm of my hand.
Well…not alone. And that’d been Nico’s promise, hadn’t it? That I’d never be alone again.
A tear slipped down my cheek, and my breath hitched in my throat.
Bennett’s arms wrapped around my shoulders and pulled me into his chest.
It felt all wrong.
He wasn’t Nico.
His arms didn’t feel how they were supposed to feel.
That’s when it hit me.
I’d never have that feeling again. Not now. Not ever.
You promised!Chapter 20They say all good things come to an end…well those fuckers can go fuck themselves.
-Food for thought
Georgia
Day 4
My eyes focused on the mourning band around Bennett’s badge.
All the officers were wearing them.
It was the department’s protocol.
Today would be their last day to wear it, since it was the burial day.
It was a simple band made of black fabric that fit around the middle of the badge at its widest.
It covered the entire middle of the badge, although it was less than a half inch in width.
The same went for the cars that were in the motorcade that would take Nico’s ashes from the church to the grave site.
“Officer Nicolas Giuliani Pena was a wonderful man. He was an exemplary officer, a loving brother and son, and a protector. When Nico and I first met, it was during Hell Week. Hell Week is known by everyone. We knew going in that it’d be hard. What I hadn’t known was that it’d be that hard.” Bennett’s smile was sad. “Nico always had a certain drive about him. There was just…something. He kept us going. He picked us up. He never left us behind. He saved my life. He saved it so many times that I can’t even begin to count. He brought me home to my daughter, then kicked my ass to get me to join KPD SWAT with him.”
Bennett’s head dropped, and he looked down at his hands.
“I was different after I got out. Both of us got out for different reasons. I never knew his, but I knew mine.” He took a deep breath. “I didn’t want to leave my little girl without both of her parents. She needed me, and Nico supported me every step of the way.”
His voice shook as he said what he said next. “I pick up the phone to call him, and it’s only when I get the voicemail that I realize what I’ve done.”
I kind of spaced out after that. I didn’t want to hear anymore.
I was the one who got those calls. I was the one that held his phone in my hand and prayed that he was there to answer it.
I’d sit on the edge of the bed and watch the door, remembering how he used to leave it wherever he happened to leave it, then run around the house frantically looking for it.
It was like a game to see if he could get to it before it stopped ringing.
He never did, but he always was there for the second call.
But the second calls didn’t come anymore.
He didn’t run around frantically anymore. He didn’t whoop with joy if he happened to make it to the phone in time.
I’d hold that phone in my hand, watch the screen light up with an incoming call, and cry.
Silence was what made me pick up my head, and I stared at the priest as he looked at me.
I must’ve missed the introduction, but I knew it was my turn.
I’d asked to speak.
Everybody had tried to talk me out of it, but I wanted to.
I needed to.
I stood and made my way past the men on Nico’s team. They stood to allow me by them, giving me a pat on the back or a reassuring squeeze of my arm.
I didn’t look at them.
When I finally got up to the podium, the priest squeezed my hand and gave me room.
I didn’t look up. I knew if I did, I’d never make it through my speech.
I only had a few things to say. Ones that needed to be said.
“I met Nico the summer I turned thirteen,” I said. “He was so forbidden that I couldn’t count the number of ways it was wrong. He was older than me. He was my best friend’s brother. He was catholic. I was catholic. There were rules that we were expected to follow. Rules that we broke.”
I took a halting breath.
“Eventually, we fell in love. Overcame all the obstacles that were placed before us. Then something tragic happened. My father took the life of two of my brothers, and my mother before taking his own.” I played with the program that was sitting on the podium. “I’d have died that day, along with the rest of my brothers, if it weren’t for him. It was his calm voice that told me what to do, to the letter. He taught me so many things. Things that I thought he was being paranoid about; obviously I was wrong about that.”
