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I finally looked up, making eye contact with Nico’s father.
I couldn’t look away.
He looked so much like Nico that it made my heart hurt.
“Now he won’t be there to teach our child those things, but I have high hopes that Nico’s friends won’t let our baby down. He’ll know those things. He’ll know who his father was. He’ll know that his father was a beautiful man.” I had to look away from his father’s crying face, instead focusing on Bennett’s face.
I saw him nodding his head at me. I knew he’d do it. Luke was nodding as well.
Then my eyes moved back a row to the line of Navy SEALS who’d somehow found the time to make it to Nico’s funeral.
They were sweet, and I loved each and every one of them. I didn’t know them well, but I knew I would.
They were nodding, too.
I could hear Nico’s mother’s cries in the front row. I knew his sisters were crying too.
I didn’t look at them. I couldn’t.
“My heart split in two the moment that he left me. One side is filled with memories of him. The way he used to wake me up by playing with my hair. The way he used to look at me when he thought I’d done something stupid, not that he’d ever say it. The way that his face lit up the moment he saw me walking towards him.” I looked down again. Losing my battle with the tears. “The other half died with Nico. It’ll never be whole again. Each night I lie awake and remember what we had, and I know it’ll never be the same. I have something, though, that’s going to keep me going. And that is the piece of him that will grow into something that I know Nico will be proud of.”
I didn’t notice the figure at the very back of the room wipe away tears. Didn’t notice when his breath caught in his throat at the mention of the life inside of me.
But somehow I knew, a sixth sense if that’s what one called it, that my life wasn’t truly as hopeless as I made it sound.
Day 83
According to Google, my new best friend, a human woman’s pregnancy lasted two hundred and eighty days.
I was on day 143.
Over half way done, and I felt no better now than I had eighty three awful days ago.
Life went on.
I still went to work. I still got paid. I went to the doctor when I was told. I went home. I ate.
Really, I just went through the motions. I did what I was supposed to do so everyone didn’t stay. I didn’t want them there.
I couldn’t cry with them there.
The first time I’d felt the life inside of me move, I’d cried for four hours straight.
And I couldn’t do that with them hovering over me. Something that all of them liked to do.
Day 129
Day 129 was the day that something finally clued me in that it wasn’t right.
His friends started acting different a couple of weeks ago.
I’d put it off as stress.
I hadn’t had a full night’s rest in nearly one hundred and thirty days.
My body ached all over from the baby inside of me doing back flips all night. I felt like he was using my intestines as a necklace at times.
I’d made Nico’s home mine, but there was something every night that reminded me of him. And I’d had these dreams. Dreams that were so real that when I finally fell asleep then woke up in the morning exhausted, I felt like I could turn over and Nico would still be there.
I felt like someone was always watching me around every corner.
And at times, I swore there was someone keeping tabs on me. Which wouldn’t surprise me since it wasn’t unheard of for Nico’s SWAT members, and even his old SEAL team members to show up to check on me.
I’d met Miller Spurlock. I’d met his brother, Foster Spurlock. I’d met Oden Finley and a man named Borne.
Most of them were familiar, me having seen them getting deployed right alongside Nico. I’d even had pictures of them. It was nice to put names to faces.
And they always seemed to know something I didn’t know.
And I had to know what they were keeping from me.
So I started to snoop.
Whatever it was, was big.
Fucking huge!
Otherwise they wouldn’t have moved me out of Nico’s house, the only place I’d found refuge in in months.
They wouldn’t have given me the cold shoulder when I asked them about the case that’d taken Nico from me. Whatever was going on, they were not being subtle about it, and I wanted to know why.
And when the dog showed up, the beautiful fluffy brown and white puppy, I knew.
I knew because I’d never told anyone, not even my brothers about my desire to have a Saint Bernard. Never told anyone that I wanted to name him Hamburger.
Yet, this cute little puppy that would grow to the size of a small horse with a collar around his neck and a tag that denoted his name as Hamburger, showed up by chance on my porch?
I think not.
And I knew one thing. I was going to kick Nico’s ass.
As soon as I saw him again, that was.***Day 151
Hamburger didn’t bark.
Which should’ve alerted me that Hamburger knew Nico.
Hamburger, Hammy for short, was very protective of me. Even at a mere thirteen weeks old, he knew who his mommy was. He also knew who didn’t belong to him. Like Nico’s teammates. Although he was nice to them, he still barked every single time they came around.
This time, though, as I heard my bedroom door open, he didn’t bark.
He was awake, because I heard his excited claws clicking on the floor as he turned circles on the hardwood floor.
I didn’t turn over.
My heart, however, was pounding.
My fingers went damp, and my mind was whirling.
I’d done some snooping over the past few weeks, and what I’d found had staggered me.
Nico was in witness protection.
I’d learned that when I bought a bug online, and planted it in not just Luke’s office, but Luke’s cell phone, Michael’s cell phone, as well as each other member of the SWAT team’s house, office, and cell.
