Page 116 of Gravity

“I don’t understand what the big deal is here.”

“You played with the devil, sweetheart,” Mark replies, taking a seat on the opposite side of my desk.

“You can go now, Lacy.”

Her eyes glare and her mouth twists in displeasure. “This isn’t over, Grayson. I’ll take legal action.”

“You do that,” I sigh.

When she slams the door, I close my eyes and rub my hand over my face, glad I don’t have to endure the conversation any longer. It’s been a long three days since all hell broke loose at Nora’s house, and although Mark has been keeping an eye on Asher, I’ve yet to take that step and go and see him for myself. He’s still drinking, he’s still fuming, and although the friend in me needs to help him, my top priority is Nora.

“You look like shit,” Mark says, watching me closely, no doubt referring to my tired eyes and the dark green bruise that covers my jaw. My ribs still ache like a bitch, too. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. I’m just tired. I haven’t slept much these past few days with worry over Nora.”

“Is she okay? Are you two okay?”

That day at her place, the way her body had shaken, the way she’d screamed at Asher. I’ve never seen her like that before, so enraged yet so vulnerable. I’d wanted to tell her to stop. I’d wanted to smack Asher twice as hard because he’d showed no sign of remorse for his actions. I’d wanted to pull her into my arms and tell her everything would be okay because I’d hated the way he was causing her to react when she’d been under so much stress weeks prior. But I hadn’t been able to because, despite what I wanted, I knew that she’d needed that.

Nothing had compared to when I’d chased after her and she’d fallen to pieces, though— falling to the ground in the driveway. My beautiful girl had shed a thousand tears as she’d struggled to control her breathing. The panic in her had been unbearable to watch as I’d tried to calm her down. I’d held onto her for what felt like hours, and she’d apologized over and over for the way she’d behaved. Asher’s the one who’s acted selfishly and insensitively, yet she’d been the one fucking apologizing.

“Yeah, we are fine. And she is doing a lot better now, but I’m just concerned because I know that she’s secretly stressing over Asher and I don’t want her to.”

“She still not spoken to him since?”

“No. And she says she doesn’t want to. In her eyes, regardless of the fact he has an addiction, she’s been burned with his actions over Pete. But then sometimes, I catch her staring into space or looking at family pictures. She says she’s just thinking of her dad, and I believe that’s true, but a part of me also thinks it’s an excuse used for the fact she is also thinking of Asher.”

“You just have to let her deal with things in the only way she can.” He leans forward and sighs, scrubbing his hands over his face. “Jesus, this is all fucked up.”

“No shit. I just don’t know what to do for the best. I want to go see him but know it will only add fuel to the fire. I want to support him but know he won’t want it because, in his eyes, he doesn’t have a problem.”

“He told me the same thing when I saw him. There’s nothing wrong with him and everyone needs to get off his case, apparently.”

“And unfortunately, that’s what they believe. Mom was the same. She was right and everyone else was wrong. I’m just hoping Asher sees sense and does something about it before it’s too late.”

“Christ, you can’t even write a book about what you and the Nelsons have been through.”

“Tell me about it. Pete was one thing but having two people from the two households become alcohol depended for different reasons is crazy.”

The shit we’ve had to put up with between our two families is almost laughable. It’s like our part of the street is doomed, and I fear it’s not going to get better anytime soon.

“Well, there’s help there for Asher when he’s ready. He just needs to want it.”

And I fear he won’t. Asher has always been headstrong and determined. No one tells him what to do. No one tells him he is wrong, and no one can change his mind once he’s decided on something. It has been the cause of many disagreements between us. He’s never been able to see the bigger picture. He’s never thought outside the box. He’s always treated each day and decision like a day out on a mission, regardless of where he’s standing. Head down, focused and on point. The only difference being home is that there is never a gun in his hand.

“Fuck, this is such a mess,” I sigh. “Where is Pete when you need him.”

“He’s sat up on the cloud with a beer watching it all unfold.”

“I feel like I’ve failed him. I promised I’d take care of them and look where that has got me.” Remorse cripples my chest, and I think back to the last conversation I’d had with Pete. I told him I’d love them. We’re not even two months gone, and I’ve already failed with the one thing I said I never would. Maybe I don’t have it in me: the true strength of a man. My dad said I never did. What if he was right? I failed Mom. I let Pete down. Now I’m doing the same to the Nelsons.

“You have taken care of them. Despite what Asher may be going through right now, you have done what was asked of you and more and will continue to do so by looking after Nora and Fiona. Anyone in their right mind can see the support you give them, especially Nora. Don’t be too hard on yourself, Gray.”

But I can’t help but beat myself up. It comes from years of thinking that everything I touch turns to dust—that everything I plan on doing in life will fail. The only thing I know I’ve accomplished and worked fucking hard for is Hot Tuna, but that doesn’t mean doubt isn’t in the back of my mind.

“I don’t want to fail her, Mark.”

“Gray, have you not seen the look in her eyes when she’s with you? The smile on her face even? She’s crazy over you. You’d never fail her.”