Page 121 of Gravity

Closing my eyes briefly, I take a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Fiona. I didn’t mean to bite.”

“It’s okay. I understand. It’s the protectiveness in you coming out.”

Yet I failed to do that.

It should be me laying there, not her. I should have stopped him. I should have tried harder. But I fucking failed. My jaw clenches, and I focus on my girl, needing her to wake. I need her eyes on me. They are the only things that keep me grounded. They are the only things that help me breathe.

“No matter how old she gets, or how far she may move away, she will always be my baby,” Fiona murmurs as she strokes her daughter’s cheek, a soft smile gracing her face as she looks down at her through glassed eyes. “The sweet, unexpected little girl that I prayed for so much. The day she came into our world was the day my family was complete. For someone so small, she had a good set of lungs on her and soon let everyone know that she should be noticed.”

“I said the same thing to Mark earlier today.” I smile. “She’s so fierce at times. It’s not in her nature to be like that, and I know she hates it when she is, but from nowhere this defensive woman comes out, and she fights tooth and nail for those she loves before falling apart behind closed doors. She was like it with me. At the time, I’d wanted nothing more for her to be quiet because everything she’d been throwing at me was true, but at the same time, I’d not wanted her to stop because it had made me want her more.”

“She’s a firecracker.”

“And so much more in between.” I lift her hand and hold it against my lips, hoping that she is aware of my touch in her sleep.

“You really do love her, don’t you?” She looks at me with a smile.

My heart clenches as I look back at Nora. The awareness of possibly losing her finally hits after hours of trying to remain strong for those around me. A thick lump in the back of my throat becomes painful, and my lip quivers, causing my eyes to fill as I speak with honesty. “I love her so much it hurts. Without her, my life wouldn’t be worth living. She is my saving grace.”

A single tear slips down Fiona's cheek as she smiles. “That’s a beautiful thing to say.” She looks back at her daughter, continuing to stroke her face softly. Silence falls between us, and it causes my mind to wander, thinking about how differently this day could have turned out. Neither of us have mentioned Asher since Nora came back from surgery. All I know from Mark is that he’s been arrested and due to Virginia law, he will serve a jail sentence of five days or more because he was drunk driving. I don’t know what will happen after that and frankly, I hadn’t wanted to know anything else because my priority had been, and still is, Nora.

“How did it come to this, Grayson? If Pete knew how broken his family had become since his death, it would break him. This is not what he wanted. This is not what his family name deserves. And it’s certainly something that Nora doesn’t deserve either.”

“I know.”

“What has happened to my boy?”

I could dance around my answer and go easy on her because she’s fragile, but I don’t. I can’t because although I’m torn, wanting to support my friend, the love of my life is laying in a hospital bed, injured, and scarred because of him. “Your son is the reason it came to this, Fiona. Asher has a drinking problem, and I’d even go so far as saying he’s an alcoholic.”

“I feared you’d say that,” she weeps. “But I don’t understand why I haven’t noticed before now. I’m a nurse, for Christ sakes. I should have seen the change in him. How could we miss something like that?”

I lower my head, hating that I saw signs long before now. “I saw the change,” I admit. “Or at least I thought I did, but when you have been through life living with an alcoholic you tend to think everyone has a problem if they drink one too many. I asked myself if Asher had a problem, but at times I wasn’t sure if I was just being over cautious. I suggested to him that he got help with what is going on in his head, but he chose not to and headed out to Cali. If I’d known then how bad he was, I would have said something.”

“It’s not your fault, Grayson. It’s mine,” her voice trembles.

“Don’t say that.”

“But it’s true. I shouldn’t have had to potentially lose one child for another to admit they have a habit. I’ve failed him as a mother. I failed them both.”

Her words make me look at her, shocked that she could even think this as she falls apart over her daughter’s bedside. Her frail body shudders with tears, and exhaustion clouds her features. The anger that Asher has caused rips through my chest, but I suppress it for the sake of the two women before me.

Taking Fiona’s hand in a tight squeeze, I reply with nothing but the truth. “Fiona, you did nothing wrong. You can’t be a better mother than the one you already are. The love you have for your children is unconditional. You are not responsible for Asher’s actions. You are not responsible for Nora being in this bed. None of this is your fault. You hear me. Asher is sick. He needs help.” Needing to comfort her, I head around to the other side of the bed, pulling her into my arms.

She grips onto me tightly and weeps into my shoulder. “Why couldn’t he come to me, Grayson? I’m his mother.”

“He couldn’t come to anyone. They never can. Addiction is more than an illness, but the good thing out of all of this is he will get the help he needs now.”

“This is all such a mess. This family has been through so much already. When will the heartache stop?”

I rub her back, trying to comfort her. I couldn’t agree more. All of this is shitty and twisted, and it makes me sick to the stomach because she is right. But the only thing we can do now is focus on Nora. Asher will be held accountable for his action, but as much as I don’t want to admit it, it’s the wake-up call he’s needed. I’m livid with him and will be for a long time, but I have hope now that he will get the help that he needs to find his way back to us and be the man he used to be.

“Don’t blame yourself, Fiona. None of this is your fault. Okay?”

Wiping her eyes, she smiles softly and whispers. “Okay.”

I have so much respect for this woman, and I hate to see her so broken. I’ll forever stand by my promise to Pete to look after his daughter, but what I’d failed to tell him was that Fiona would be included in that promise, too. Kissing her on the head, I’m about to tell her to go get some rest when a shaky voice breaks through the turmoil in the room.

“Do I get a kiss, too?”