Page 52 of Gravity

“Is he awake?” I ask Dr. Newman, holding my waist.

“He’s likely to sleep for a while, but this is normal. There may be times when he drifts in and out, but the exhaustion takes over quickly.”

“He’s been doing so well,” I whisper. “Or so I thought.”

Dr. Newman smiles flatly as we get to the door to Dad’s room. “Now, take no notice of the machines, they are just helping us with your father’s observations. Take as long as you need.”

When I enter the room, the anxiety in my stomach cripples me. The machines around him play their own tunes as Dad lays on his back, sleeping, his head tilted to the side. He looks peaceful. The closer I get to him, the more I notice how pale his skin is—the same color as when I’d arrived home earlier. I knew he hadn’t looked right. My sixth sense had told me as soon as I’d laid eyes on him.

Taking his hand in mine, I gently stroke his arm as fresh tears sting my eyes at the sight of him laid here looking so helpless. Maybe this is my fault. Maybe I’ve pushed him too much when trying to act like things used to be.

“You scared me, Pop,” I whisper, wiping the tears from my cheeks. “I thought I was going to lose you. I can’t bear the thought of losing you, and today made me realize how wrong this world would be without you in it. I can’t lose you, Pop. I just can’t.”

“Nor…” he whispers, and my breath catches.

“Pop?” Dad’s eyes flutter open but not enough for him to look at me. He’s exhausted but he knows I’m here. “It’s me.”

With me still holding his hand, he slowly lifts his arm from the mattress. He’s unsteady as always, so I just guide him, unsure what he’s doing, but the second the tips of his fingers brush against my cheeks, my tears fall harder and a sad smile spreads across my face when he whispers. “My… Girl.”

“I’m here,” I weep. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

But he doesn’t answer. He falls back to sleep, still holding my hand with his pressed against my face.

“All the times I used to hate seeing you head off to save the world and all the restless nights and nightmares that came with those times. I’d go through them all over again before seeing you the way you were earlier,” I whisper. Those times he’d left had been agonizing. Waiting for him to come home. Wondering if he ever would and because of that, my mind had become so active. I’d dreamed of his death in many ways as each night brought a different nightmare. When the day arrived that he’d be returning home, the sun had shone in my heart, even if the sky outside had been gray.

My daddy was coming home…

And I’d run to him like you see the girls do in the movies, and I’d leap into his arms to be spun around by him, laughing and cheering with a smile on my face so wide my cheeks ached. I’d give anything to go back to those moments and see him like that instead of laid here helpless and possibly in discomfort.

“Nora?” Asher whispers, entering the room. “How’s he doing?”

“He just woke briefly. He knows we are here.”

Coming to the end of the bed, my brother stands with his arms folded as if he’s trying to remain confident, but I don’t miss the redness of his eyes from his defeat.

“He looks so frail,” he murmurs.

“I know.”

“Fuck, Nora. This is hard to process,” he sighs, stepping away from the bed and going to the window. “I don’t think I can watch him go through that again.”

“It’s going to be harder not knowing if and when it will happen. But as hard as it will be, we need to be there for him like he would be us.”

His jaw muscle moves, but he doesn’t respond. He just watches Dad sleeping, and soon the sounds of the machines have me looking back at Pop.

“He’s getting old before his time,” I whisper. “His mind and body are giving up on him before his heart is.”

“Life is one cruel bitch,” he grits.

“What do we do, Asher. What do we do once he’s gone?”

“Stop it, Nora. It’s Dad: he’s a fighter.”

“Who’s losing the battle too quickly.”

His brain is a ticking time bomb, and all we can do is wait, but like he always does, my brother shuts down and changes the direction of the conversation. “Mom is staying here tonight. I said I’d stay with her. Grayson will take you home.”

I shake my head. “I’m fine, here.”