Page 49 of Addiction

How else am I going to address this without exposing who I am deep down?

But what Mark says next is the perfect excuse, and I loathe myself for even agreeing to it.

"Is it because he's too close to home? Knowing Wade would be here working with people with similar situations to your dad?”

I swallow hard. “Yes. But that’s no different from someone else doing it.”

“No, but with Wade, it’s more personal.”

He’s not wrong there.

Everything that comes down to Wade is more personal.

“Look, Asher, I know it’s not going to be easy, but I honestly think Wade would benefit this place. He’s fantastic at his job.”

“I know.” I turn to face him now. “And I agree. I just need to get my head out of my ass. What did he say when you asked him?”

“He wanted to know how you felt about it.”

“He did?”

“Yeah. He said he’ll need to talk with you before he makes a decision, which says a lot considering he hates where he is now. So, as harsh as this may sound, you need to push aside whatever is going on in your head and talk with him because the gym needs him. The future of your business needs him. Silent partner or not, I’m not arguing with you over it again.”

His hard stare tells me that his word is final and that no matter how much I try and protest, he’s going to overrule me on this. I know I need to talk with Wade because no matter how hard I try and stop it, my attraction toward him is always going to be there. I just have to find a way of pushing it to the back of my mind as I've always done when it comes to my sexuality.

* * *

“Can I help you, sir?” a young woman asks from behind a desk as I enter the building, unsure if I’m in the right place. It seems all too clinical for a place for Wade to be working. The walls are white with no pictures, hard flooring, and just a few brochures on a side table in the corner of a small waiting area.

“Does Wade Johnson work here?”

“Yeah. He’s currently with a patient.”

“Do you mind if I wait?”

“Not at all. Please take a seat. He shouldn’t be that long now.”

I nod and take a seat in the hardback chair, resting my head on the wall behind me, blowing out an unsteady breath and trying to relax. I don’t know if I feel like this because of how he’ll react with me turning up unannounced or if it’s the very thought of seeing him. Either way, I’m anxious as fuck.

Breathe in…

Breathe out…

I know I need to bite the bullet and ask Wade. Putting it off isn’t going to get me anywhere because he’s in my life regardless. We’ve fallen into this pattern of talking to each other often, be it in person or text message. It feels like I’ve known him for years, and we’ve connected in a way I never thought was possible. And if our friendship has taught me anything, it’s that I feel more myself when around him, which only confuses me more.

When the door opens and I hear his voice, nervousness twists in my stomach, and I bite the hard skin on the tip of my thumb while my knee bobs frantically.

Get it the fuck together Asher!

“What do you say to Wade, Jessica?”

“Thank you, Dr. Wade,” a little girl dressed in a pink, sparkly dress says as she appears in the doorway with a woman who I presume is her mother. She has two dark pink and glittery prosthetics and is covered in stickers.

“Always a pleasure, little lady. You keep practicing what I told you. Okay?”

“Yep!” As she talks to Wade—whom I’m yet to see—she does a little penguin-like waddle on her prosthetics before giggling.

“Wow, check you out,” Wade says. “I’m going to have to up my game.”