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All of that so I didn't realize what the seizing feeling in my chest, the way breathing was hard when I thought of him, the way I felt very close to tears most of the day, was.
I loved him.
Crap.
I turned back, lifting my chin. "Yeah. And some day, Matteo, you'll love someone like I love him and you'll understand why I have to do what I have to do."
With that, I walked out of Famiglia and went back to my car.--I walked into The Henchmen compound half an hour later, slamming the door closed, and seeing the common area was cleared of all the bikers from the night before. All that was left was Reign, Summer, Cash, Repo, and... Lo.
All eyes turned to me and, for reasons I don't understand in the least, I blurted it out.
"I love Wolf."
"No shit, babe," Reign said, rolling his eyes.
"Of course you do, honey," Summer said, squeezing Reign's knee like she was relaying some silent message.
"He's a little old for you, kid," Cash winked, letting his arm fall from Lo's shoulders as she moved to stand.
"Another one bites the dust," Repo mumbled under his breath, shaking his head.
"Janie..." Lo said, looking like she wanted to hug me or something equally as girly. Where was my badass leader when I needed her? Had loved turned her sappy too?
"I need to hit or shoot something," I declared before she could say anything else.
Lo looked at Cash and Cash looked to Reign, who shrugged.
"Yes!" Summer said, jumping up. "Just us, none of the guys."
"Summer..."
"I won't shoot up the damn compound again, Reign," she said in a voice that had the effect of an eye-roll.
"Look, I don't think..." Reign tried in a voice that suggested he was going to shut our idea down, making all three of us close ranks, Lo with her hands on her hips, me with my arms crossed over my chest, and Summer with a brow-raise any method actor would be envious of.
"Oh shit..." Repo said, smiling as he sat back in his chair.
"Bro, I think we both know you can try to fight this, but it's going to have the same result."
"Three women who love weapons a little too much in my backyard with guns," Reign nodded.
"Someone let me into the gun safe," Summer said, giving her man a smile that promised the kind of gratitude that came with nudity at a later time.Fifteen minutes later, we were out in the yard, facing the targets the men kept up at all times, the men themselves making no secret about them watching us from the safety of the picnic tables about twenty yards behind us.
"I didn't know the AK would kick like that!" Summer insisted to us, referencing the time she accidentally shot the side of the compound.
"He should have warned you," Lo agreed, loading her gun without looking. She could build, load, and shoot guns in her sleep.
"I'm actually a good shot," Summer insisted.
"Let's see it then," Lo urged.
"First we need to talk about Janie's little admission," Summer said, giving me a look that suggested she would never let it go if we didn't.
"Stupid fucking Matteo Grassi threw that at me when I was leaving."
"He's one good looking guy," Lo added and I felt myself smiling. It was nice to talk to a woman again.
"Yeah, well, he's an asshole for pointing that out."
"Not to be the devil's advocate here, but... shouldn't you have known that without him pointing it out?" Summer asked.
"I was a little busy!" I insisted, being the first to turn to the targets and squeezing off a few rounds.
"Wow... you got better at that," Lo nodded.
"Wolf taught me a trick," I admitted and even I could hear the dreaminess in my voice. Summer was right, I should have realized it before Matteo pointed it out.
"So you guys have been shooting together," Lo said in a way that was begging for more information.
"Yeah and covered up evidence together, bought washing machines together..."
"And..." Summer pressed, her eyes dancing.
"That too," I agreed, looking away from them.
"Oh, Janie..." Lo's voice dipped.
"It's not a big deal," I insisted, taking aim at another target.
"I think we all know that it is a really big deal," Lo countered. She paused when I didn't respond. "Well... how was it?"
I snorted, shaking my head. "I don't really have anything to compare it to, Lo."
"So what? Doesn't mean you don't know."
"Was he... good to you?" Summer asked hesitantly.
"Oh my god, could this get any cheesier?" I asked, shaking my head.
"Well... was he?" Lo pressed, starting to sound almost worried.
"It was good. He was good. Everything was good. Moving on."
"Babe," Lo said, sounding serious. "You're going to get him back. None of us will let this go much further. You've done a lot. And if it doesn't lose steam before it makes it to trial, I promise the judge and a few select members of the jury will be living well on Henchmen and Hailstorm money. Or we can tattoo an escape map on Repo's back and he can get himself locked up and bust them out ala Prison Break style," she added with a smile.
I felt a laugh well up and burst out, swiping away the dark cloud I had felt hanging over me for two days. I acted on instinct and threw my arms around her. She stumbled back a foot and her hands paused, surprised, before going around me.
"Hugging with loaded guns isn't the best idea, ladies!" Repo called and I could hear the frustration there.
"Neither is yelling at people with loaded guns, jackass!" I shot back.That night, I didn't sleep.
I wandered down the hall and into the common room, finding a shirtless Repo sitting on the couch across from the giant TV, two beers on the table in front of him, one on either side of a giant bowl of popcorn.
"Figured you'd come eventually," he said, his eyes looking heavy. He was on his last leg of sleeplessness. He would crash eventually in the next twelve hours. I wondered if he was staying awake for my sake.
