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"Merry Christmas, Ryan," I called after him, making him shoot me a smile over his shoulder before he disappeared into the elevator.
I closed and locked the door, taking a slow, deep breath.
Then, just for good measure, reaching down and pinching my arm. You know, just to make sure I hadn't died in the carbon incident after all and wasn't experiencing some long, drawn-out hallucination before I finally croaked.
The pain stung my arm and my head fell back against my door as I smiled at my empty apartment.
It had certainly been a Christmas for the books.
And it was shaping up to be a New Years Eve for them too.
Whether or not I managed to make it across the hall.
As it turned out, I would.
But not because I had worked myself up to it, though I had certainly tried.
No, the circumstances for which I found myself in his place were a lot less inspiring, a lot less groundbreaking than that.
It was a hell of a lot more ugly.
And, to be honest, it had been a long time coming.
I had always known there was a risk.
I had always known that some day it would catch up to me.
It just so happened to do so on the day before the night that I wanted to go a lot differently.SEVENRyanSo, it was no secret; I had always had a thing for nice girls.
Blame my rough lifestyle, the violence, the pain, the uncertainty, the hard I was always surrounded by, the scum, the blood, the nasty shit.
I respected hardass women like my mother, like Lea, even Fee in her own way. But they had never been the kind of women I found myself interested in.
Hell, it went all the way back to high school where I spent a goddamn year trying to get this shy, glasses-wearing, book nerd to give me a shot. She never did. Didn't blame her either. My brothers and I, well, we didn't have the best of reputations. We were always getting into fights, always starting shit, always joking around.
And, as we got old enough for those things, screwing around. Not exactly breaking hearts, at least not on purpose, but getting around.
But from then on, it had always been a trend.
I liked soft and sweet.
Which was why I was standing in the fucking party store the day before New Years Eve.
Yes, the mother fucking party supply store.
I was standing there debating what decorations I should get for my apartment. Me, who never even put up a goddamn Christmas tree, was getting New Years Eve decorations.
"Okay, does my car have some kind of gas leak or something?" Fee's voice called from the side, making me stiffen. Of course. Of fucking course I would run into a family member while doing something completely uncharacteristic that would therefore be a topic of much discussion. I turned to find Fee, dressed in skinny baby pink jeans, five inch heels, and some sort of shimmery gold sweatshirt that rode up slightly to reveal a sliver of stomach. Fee was, among many other interesting things, really into clothes. Even after three kids, she looked like she was ready to walk a runway at any given time. "Because there is no way this is not some kind of hallucination brought on by fumes of some sort."
"Hey Fee," I said, leaning down and kissing her temple, noticing the huge pile of confetti poppers she had in her hand basket. "You're going to be cleaning up confetti for weeks," I warned her, shaking my head.
"Please," she said, rolling her eyes. "Becca somehow learned what a glitter bomb was two months ago. I'm still finding that shit everywhere. This is nothing a broom can't catch. Now, changing the subject isn't going to work. What the hell are you doing in a party store? Is Chaz's finally going to spiff things up for the holiday? I've only been suggesting that for years."
Ranting and raving about more like.
Pops was old school. He didn't like decorating for shit. Not even a strand of lights for Christmas.
"No," I said, reaching out and grabbing some of the party poppers, at a loss for what the hell else I was supposed to get. Anita would be pissed at me, but considering I kept a clean place and she usually only ever had to run a vacuum or a mop once a week, I figured I could get away with it for a holiday.
She watched me for a second with small eyes before a little, teasing smile pulled at her lips. "You invited her over didn't you? Okay, spill. What happened?"
"Drop it, Fee," I said, shaking my head at her as I walked past the plastic champagne flutes. I had some real ones at home that I had literally never used. Which reminded me that I needed to brave my brother's goddamn liquor store that was sure to be mobbed. His ass better have taken my advice and moved the champagne front and center so I didn't have to fight for elbow room in the back corner where it was usually stored seeing as no one ever bought champagne any other time of the year.
