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“What about you, Lily? You like sucking on Balls’ balls?” Violet’s snickering so much that her wine sloshes over the side of her glass and lands on her boobs. She frowns and rubs at it, then looks up at me expectantly.
“Uhhh ...”
“Come on, you don’t have to be shy. We’ve all watched you come,” she adds.
I guess it’s meant to be encouraging. Mostly it’s embarrassing. There are lots of things I’ve shared with Sunny over the years, but a front-row seat to my orgasm wasn’t one of the things I ever intended to put on the list. I puff out a breath. “Well… uh, I’ve never given him a blow job.”
Everyone goes silent. I lift my eyes from my glass to find them all staring at me. I gulp my wine.
“How have you managed to get away with that?” Charlene asks.
“It’s not like I haven’t offered, he just… I don’t know… Maybe it’s not his thing?” I have no idea what to say to this.
“Not his thing? Every guy likes blow jobs.” Violet seems mystified.
Charlene and Sunny both nod in agreement.
I lift one shoulder and then down the remaining contents of my glass. I jump up off the couch. “I need more wine. Anyone else need more wine?”
“We need to talk about this,” Violet says.
“I think we all need more wine,” Charlene says. “Especially if Violet thinks we need to talk blow jobs.” Charlene puts a hand on Sunny’s. “I’m sorry for the things you’re about to hear. I know they pertain to your brother, and it’s probably going to be disturbing. I have the name of a great therapist if you happen to need one later.”
“I’m sure it’ll be fine. Alex and I are close, and Violet does this every time we hang out. I’m used to it.”
Charlene gives Sunny another sympathetic hand pat and sits back in her chair, her eyebrows raised in my direction. “So, like, do you mean he hasn’t come in your mouth? Is he more of a pearl necklace kind of guy?”
Sunny raises her hand. I think it’s an unconscious reaction. “Um. What do necklaces have to do with blow jobs?”
I’m grateful she asks the question, as I don’t have the guts to.
Violet looks from me to Sunny and back again. Then she glances at Charlene. “You know what a pearl necklace is, right?”
Charlene rolls her eyes. “Of course.”
“Just checking.” Her gaze flips back to me. “Are you two telling me you’re unfamiliar with pearl necklaces?”
Sunny and I nod. I feel like we’ve been missing out on a lot over these important, formative years when sexual knowledge and discovery peak. Sunny’s clearly rectifying that now. So it’s just me, all by myself, with my casual-sex hockey friend who apparently doesn’t like blow jobs. Which I now suspect is weird, along with some of his other sexual quirks—like lights off and covers on. Why does he want to cover up all that hotness, anyway?
Violet grins. It’s a horrible, devious smile on her beautiful, evil face. She twists her ponytail around her hand. “You get the guy’s jizz all over your chest and throat.”
I must make a face.
“Don’t knock it ’til you try it. Alex gets so excited when I let him come on my boobs. Then he goes down on me; it’s awesome. And sometimes I’m too sore to deal with the monster cock. Also, jizz tastes awful, so letting him come all over my chest is a decent option.”
Sunny’s horror is understandable. I can’t blame her. That’s a lot of information about Alex she didn’t need.
“So I’m guessing Balls isn’t a pearl necklace kind of guy. Hmm. Maybe he thinks he’ll choke you with his dick if the rumors are true.” At my lack of confirmation or denial, she continues. “Based on his issue after your make-out session, I’m guessing it is.” She taps her lips with a sparkly finger. “It’s considerate, if you think about it—the not wanting you to choke on his dick part.”
I shrug. “But you don’t think it’s normal for a guy not to want a blow job if it’s offered?”
I’m met with more silence and stares. Violet pulls out her phone and starts typing.
“What are you doing?” Charlene asks.
“Calling Alex.”
“What? Why?” I rush to stop her, but she rolls over the back of the couch. It’d be graceful if she didn’t land on her ass.
She pops back up, grinning. “Hey, baby!”
She has him on video, so we can all hear and see him. “Are you drunk?” he asks.
“You bet your Super MC I am. When you guys get back from your fun night, my beaver’s gonna devour your wood, like whoa.”
“I don’t think my sister needs to know that.”
“She doesn’t care. Anyway, I have a question.”
“Fire away.”
“Do you like blow jobs?”
“Uhhh…”
“It’s not a trick question. Answer yes or no. Do you like blow jobs?”
