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“Of course I like blow jobs.”
“Great. Thanks. Give the phone to Buck.”
“But—”
“Do it and I’ll lollipop your dick later.”
There’s some chatter in the background, then Buck’s face appears on the screen. “Buck. Quick question. Do you like blow jobs?”
“Fuck, yeah. Sunny’s mouth is the best.” There’s a loud noise. “Fuck! Waters, get off me!”
“Put Lance on the phone.”
There’s some more clattering and loud noise before the phone is finally passed to Lance. Violet has to calm Alex down by pointing out he’s a hypocrite to get mad at Miller for liking BJs.
Lance’s strawberry-blond hair pops into view. “You don’t even need to repeat the question. The answer is definitely yes. I’d give up pizza for the rest of my life if I could get a daily blow job.”
“Good luck finding a mail-order bride to fulfill that dream. Put Darren on the phone.”
Darren shows up next. Violet asks the same question. Darren’s wearing that dark, secret smile again. “Charlene can answer that.”
“Awesome. We already know you love to pearl-necklace my bestie.”
I glance at Charlene, who’s blushing. “What is it about the quiet ones?”
“You have no idea,” she says with a similar devious grin.
Violet rolls her eyes. “Pass the phone to Balls, Mr. Grey.”
There’s a round of snickers. I don’t even want to know if that’s a joke. I step out of view so Randy can’t see me, but I can still see him.
“Balls.” Violet punctuates his name with a single hip thrust. “Do you like blow jobs?”
His hand comes up to run through his hair, his forearm and biceps flexing. “They’re all right, I guess.”
“They’re all right? All right? Are you telling me that having a woman’s lips wrapped around your cock while you fuck her mouth doesn’t do it for you?”
Randy goes sideways for a second before Alex’s face appears on the screen. “Violet, baby, you can’t say things like that to other guys. Ever. Not ever. ’Kay?”
We hear Buck laughing in the background.
“Is this about your Frankenweiner, Ballistic?” That sounds like Lance.
“Shut the fuck up, man!” There’s a loud crash. “That’s under the damn cone.”
“Hey! You’re gonna get us kicked out!” Alex yells. His face reappears. “I gotta go. Ballistic and Romero are about to rip each other’s heads off. See you in a bit, babe.” The screen goes blank, and everyone looks to me.
Violet raises a brow. “Frankenweiner?”
I shrug. “I don’t know what that means.”
“Well, you’ve seen his dick, right? Does it look normal? Is it massive like Alex’s? I mean, he’s monstrous.” She hold up her arm and points to her wrist. “Thicker than this, that’s for sure.”
“Violet.” Charlene kicks her.
“What?”
“Sunny’s here.”
“What does that matter? I’m sure she’s accidentally seen his junk at some point. I mean, I know what Buck’s looks like, even though I don’t want to.” Violet’s drunk. She gets louder as she gains momentum. “Besides, didn’t you go into Alex’s room and steal his condom stash, Sunny? You gotta know he’s packing a massive cannon—not to mention all the years he spent in spandex.”
Sunny just shrugs.
“Anyway, it’s not Alex’s dick that matters; it’s Randy’s. Back to that. So, what’s so Franken-y about it?”
They’re staring at me intently. “I-I don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know? Is the head a weird shape? Oh my God! Does Randy have a dick piercing?”
“He doesn’t have a dick piercing.” I would’ve felt that.
“Too bad. I’ve heard those are awesome. So what’s the deal?” She gestures for me to continue.
I shrug. “I’ve never seen it.”
I get three blank looks in response.
“It’s always dark.”
“Dark? Really? Huh. But you’ve, like, held it, right?”
“Well, yeah, of course.”
“So did it have nodules or a serious curve?”
“Nodules?”
“You know, like the nuts and bolts that stick out of Frankenstein’s head—that kind of thing.”
“There aren’t any nodules. He’s definitely circumcised, though.”
“Hmm.” Violet taps her lips. “Too bad about the foreskin; it’s super fun to play with. Sunny, you should text Buck.”
“Why?”
“Because him and Balls have known each other forever. Buck has to know what this is about.”
“Why do you care?” Sunny asks. “Maybe it’s personal. Maybe Randy’s sensitive about it.”
“He’s a guy. How sensitive can he be?”
“Some of them are very.” Sunny doesn’t immediately pull out her phone.
Violet looks around the room, seeking support. “Seriously? I can’t be the only one who’s curious about this. Here you’ve got this smoking-hot hockey player, a legend in the bunnysphere—sorry, Lily, but it’s true—and Lily’s his fuck buddy, and she hasn’t even seen his dick. She hasn’t wrapped her lips around it and gagged a little when he gets excited and goes too deep.”
“We’re not fuck buddies.”
“You’re boning him, yes?”
“Well, yeah—”
“Your beaver eats his wood?” At my silence she waves her hand around her crotch. “Less than three seconds after you walked through the door, he pulled you into my laundry room and did some magic voodoo to make you come fully clothed.”
