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“I know raging.”
Sliding my hands to her neck, I take a step forward, melting my groin into hers. I sputter at her softness.
When she feels it—feels me prodding her belly, obscenely hard at noon on a fucking Wednesday in public like the shameless yeti I am—she draws a sharp breath.
The hurt in her eyes ignites. Burns to desire.
Aw yeah.
“Give me a chance,” I say. The sun beats down on my shoulders, making sweat stream down my torso inside my shirt, but I don’t care. “We can fuck just how you like. However often you want. And then we can try the dating stuff, too. Let’s explore it. See what works and what doesn’t.”
“Luke—”
“I know you been hurt. I know things aren’t working out how you thought they would. But let me show you how I can do better than the guys who came before me. There ain’t nothin’ lukewarm about the way I feel for you, Grace. I can’t guarantee we’ll last, but I can promise you I would never, ever disappoint or hurt you. Not intentionally.”
Grace’s eyes move between mine. Wide. Uncertain. One beat and then another and another. Finally her desire cools. Hardens into something I do not like. Not one fuckin’ bit.
Because it looks a hell of a lot like anguish.
“Luke.” The way she says my name this time—it’s a plea.
I step back, body screaming, and she bites her lip. She feels it too—the disappointment.
The frustration.
“You’re so sweet,” she breathes. Closes her eyes, like she’s corralling her strength, and places the flat of her palm on my chest. “So fucking sweet. You’re saying everything I want to hear. I want to be open to dating, Luke. But right now…I lost so much of myself over the past few years trying to make my relationships work.” She opens her eyes. Looks into mine, willing me to understand. “Hell, I even lost the ability to have fun and enjoy sex. And now I’m determined to take that shit back. Selfish as it sounds, I need to be able to focus on my desires for once. My fantasies. Without losing myself in someone else’s.”
“Not selfish,” I say, shaking my head. “Smart. It’s what you deserve. What everyone deserves.”
Her eyes flash when they meet mine. Ah, there she is. The woman who knows what she wants and takes it.
My cock twitches.
“I know,” she replies. “But I’m worried that if I jump into another relationship, I’ll just keep losing myself. I always get too wrapped up in being the perfect partner. I want the fairy tale so bad—the one great, perfect love—that I’ll do anything to get it. I’ve lied to myself. I’ve smothered my desires. I’ve ignored what my body’s needed. But now I’m ravenous. I am so hungry—” Her voice catches. My heart clenches. “Luke, I’m so hungry for all the things I’ve denied myself, like intensity and sensuality and good fucking sex, that I wanna scream. I can’t stand it anymore.”
I look at her. Stare at her, more like it. Enthralled by this sudden burst of truth. Passion. Need.
Need that radiates off her.
Gracie is needy. She is vulnerable.
And she is coming to me. Key in hand, asking me to unlock this cage she’s been living in.
I can’t imagine how trapped she’s felt all this time. But I can feel it—her anguish over what she’s lost.
No way can I turn this girl down.
No fucking way.
It’s not like I’m in love with her. Yes, I’d like to be more than just a hook up. But above all else, I just want to do things right with her. And if that means fucking her brains out while I wait for her to come around to the idea of a relationship—then I’ll do it.
I’ll do it to the best of my ability.
I ain’t afraid to say my ability is a force to be reckoned with.
“Wow,” I say. “Wow, Gracie. You really been through hell. I’m sorry.”
She wipes her eye with the flat of her hand. “Thanks.”
“I get it,” I continue. “I see why you want this no-strings hook-up situation. You not wantin’ a relationship has nothing to do with me—”
“And everything to do with me.” Sniffing, she manages a small smile. “Yes. For once, the whole ‘it’s not you, it’s me thing’ is actually true.”
I lock eyes with her. Her hair blows up behind her glasses. All wild and loose.
“Thank you for being honest.” I put my hands on the railing on either side of her and lean in. The scent of her shampoo tickling my nose as I lock eyes with her. “I’ll do the same. I wanna be part of your liberation from bad boyfriends and bad sex. I wanna fuck you so hard and so often you’ll walk funny for days afterward.” Her lips part at that. “I like you, Gracie girl. A lot. You probably know by now that I’ll take you any way I can have you.”
