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But now after several days of not hearing from her, and not reaching out to her myself, I couldn’t help but wonder what would have been said if we did have that conversation. Obviously, I didn’t think it would include any dramatic declarations of love and longing. That was going a bit too far. Just talking about how we were feeling and what it might mean moving forward, though, would have been nice.
Even if we had gone through with that talk, I wasn’t even sure I would have been able to answer that question. The incredible chemistry between us, not to mention the mind-blowing sex, was enough to completely fog my thoughts. The night together was spectacular, but was that it? Could we consider it just me helping her out when she was stressed out and worked up over her ex showing up at her house?
It was something I hadn’t really thought about. By the time I got to the top of the mountain, it was all I could think about. And I knew how I felt about it. I wanted more. The only problem was that was as far as those thoughts went. I wasn’t exactly sure what I meant by wanting more. It was uncharted territory for me, and I wasn’t positive where I landed. Or where Bryn did.
From everything she’d said about her relationship with Justin and how she saw her future, she struck me as a woman who put a lot of significance on commitment. That made me think she might not be okay with a fuck-buddy sort of arrangement. But I still wasn’t sure if I was ready for a solid relationship. That would be something new and strange for me, and the thought kind of scared me.
All I could do was leave it up to her. She was going to have to be the one to make the final decision about where we were going to go. It wasn’t just about me being confused and conflicted, or not knowing where she stood. It also wasn’t lost on me that we were in kind of a tenuous position.
If I decided to pursue her, it could make things uncomfortable and awkward between us. We were still in a business relationship, and if things didn’t go my way in terms of wanting more from her, it could create massive tension. And not the good kind that would have us toppling into bed together again.
Not helping her with her investments wasn’t an option. She was obviously looking forward to the idea, and I was still pissed about how she was swindled and wanted to help her. I wasn’t going to just tell her the plan was off or transfer her over to Gabe so I could try to start something up with her. That would look even worse.
Leaving whatever future we might have up to Bryn took away the pressure. I wanted her. That wasn’t even a question. And if she wanted me in return, I hoped she would make it known. I wouldn’t pressure her or make anything weird between us. If she didn’t seem interested and didn’t bring it up, we’d just stick to investments and I’d chalk up our night together as fantastic memories.
Feeling good about my decision, I turned my thoughts back to the cliff I was climbing. When I was done, I went home and fell into bed exhausted and ready to sleep in late Saturday morning.
Except that tomorrow was Friday.
Damn it.21BrynThe nurses answering the after-hours line in the middle of the night were surprisingly friendly. I wouldn’t think somebody up at the ghastly hour of three a.m. dealing with people complaining about a multitude of illnesses and other issues would be as perky as Sandy was, but she made me feel much less guilty for my call. I had been lying awake, my stomach turning for hours, and it just didn’t seem right. The doctor’s office was long since closed, but the after-hours line meant I could get in touch with an on-call nurse to tell her about my symptoms.
“I went to see my regular doctor about a month back for this same issue. It turned out to be a stomach virus, but I thought it would be over with by now,” I told her.
“Did you take all the medications she prescribed?” Sandy asked.
“I did everything she told me,” I said. “And I felt better for a few weeks, but then it came back. Now I’m feeling sick again, I’m exhausted, and I just don’t feel right.”
“Are there any new symptoms?” Sandy asked.
“No. Just the same ones. It’s like I went right back to the beginning of the illness.”
“I noticed in your chart it mentions stress. Have you been going through a stressful situation recently?” she asked.
“That’s putting it mildly,” I said. “The last few months have been pretty difficult on me, actually.”
