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“Oh, Sam, forever intent on saving the world,” Mary tsked. “You know that was always your downfall, don’t you? Even with that slime, Garrick Sutherland the third.”
“Let’s not bring him up, Mom. He’s not worth discussing.” Sam dropped her eyes and plucked a third blade of grass. She didn’t want to think about the fact that Garrick had dumped her because she wasn’t good enough. Hmm – plumber or attorney-at-law, which to chose? His choice had been pretty easy and she’d found herself out of his life, thrown out on her butt, in the blink of an eye. The weird thing was, he’d known all along what she did for a living. She must have bewitched him somehow and it had taken him a while to realize he could do a whole lot better than her. The jerk.
And now that her mother had brought him up it pulled into sharp focus the question that had been nagging her all along. If she hadn’t been good enough for her ex-fiancé, how in the world would she have any hope with a man who could buy Garrick a hundred times over?
“I’m sorry, darling,” Mary said, breaking into her thoughts. “I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories. I just don’t want you to get hurt, that’s all.” Then she touched Sam’s arm. “Sounds like this man made a big impact. So who is he?”
“Sorry, Mom, can’t tell you.” She was not about to give up that piece of information. “All I want to know is, do you think I’d be stupid to give him a hint of how I feel, or should I just leave it alone? I mean, if he’s still grieving-”
“No, dear, don’t do that.”
“Don’t do what?”
“Don’t back away. Your heart has spoken and whoever he is, it wants this man. I think you should give it a chance, let him know how you feel.” She shrugged. “You never know. It may just be what he needs. Maybe you’ll be doing him a favor.”
“You mean, I should tell him?” Sam frowned, not liking the idea very much.
“Sometimes actions speak louder than words, honey. There are a lot of ways to get your message across.”
Sam bit her lip, still doubtful.
Seeing her hesitation, Mary pushed harder. “Come on, Sam. Give yourself a chance. If he’s as good a man as you say he is then he might just be worth the effort. Remember,” she said with a lift of the eyebrows, “you’re not getting any younger. Before you know it you’ll be thirty-five and then forty. And what about children?”
“Mom, I don’t-”
“No, hear me out.” Mary put up her hand. “Just test the water. See how he feels about you. Nothing tried, nothing won.”
Sam heaved a sigh. “I know, it’s just…hard to compete with a beloved memory. And she was so beautiful…”
“I’m not saying it won’t be a challenge,” Mary stretched her legs out in front of her and leaned back on her elbows, “but I’m sure you’re up to it. Coax him out of his shell. Use your womanly charms.”
“Are you saying I should seduce him?” Sam gave her a crooked smile.
“Yes,” Mary said with a devilish grin, “softly and sweetly. He won’t know what hit him.”
Sam laughed out loud. “Mom, you’re wicked.”
“Only when it matters,” Mary said as she joined in the laughter.
Sam relaxed and then she lay back in the grass, folded her arms behind her head, and stared up at the green canopy of leaves through which she could see patches of blue sky. Yes, she would take her mother's advice. It actually made sense.
And as she thought about it a plan began to form in her mind.
******
Long, blonde hair blowing in the wind, she reached out a hand and stroked his jaw as he angled the boat toward the shore. She had such soft hands. He never tired of her touch.
That day on the lake had been one of the happiest of his life, a celebration of his fifth book hitting the New York Times Best Seller List. Little did he know it would be his last with Jessica. That same evening tragedy struck, changing his life forever.
Jake shook his head, snapping out of his reverie. He had to stay alert. He had another sixty miles to go before he arrived at his parents’ house in Long Island. He also had to use the rest of the journey to work on lightening his mood. He would be spending a week with them, celebrating his Dad’s seventieth birthday in two days. He had no intention of dampening the mood with his long face.
When he finally turned onto the driveway of his parents’ home of over forty years, he was ready. Coming back home to Long Island had been difficult. This was where he and Jessica had gone to high school, where they’d come back after college to get married, where they’d planned to settle down and start a family. Instead, it was where his wife had met her untimely death. At his hands.
Stop it, Jake. Stop thinking about it. Focus on Pop’s birthday and nothing else.
He switched off the engine and climbed out of the car then got his bag from the trunk. He still had his front door key but he would ring the bell anyway, let them know he’d arrived. He didn’t even get the chance to press the button. As soon as he stepped onto the front porch the door flew open and his mother stood there, eyes crinkled in a broad smile. “Jake,” she said, throwing her arms wide, “come give your mom a hug. It’s been so long.” And as he stepped into her embrace her face crumpled and a small sob escaped her lips.
“It’s okay, Mom,” he whispered. “I’m here now.” Yes, it had been long. Too long. This was only his second visit to Long Island since he’d moved to the house in Tonawanda. Before that, he’d been in Boston and Connecticut. Anywhere but Long Island.
Today, though, he was home and he’d do everything in his power to make his family happy, even if that meant suppressing his pain and putting on a brave face.
“Now,” he said as he gently lifted his mother’s face from his shoulder, “where’s the birthday boy?”
After falling into a deep sleep that night, the result of his exhaustion, Jake spent a pleasant day with his parents, followed the next day by a small gathering of close friends to celebrate his father's seventh decade. It was good to be back among the living. He’d cut himself off from the world for so long he’d forgotten the simple joy of conversation. He was surprised at how relaxed he felt. For the first time in a long time he was happy to be home.
The following day was not quite so easy. This was the day he planned to pay a visit to Jessica’s parents. Mitch and Ellen Bloom lived less than half an hour’s drive away and there was no way he could come to Long
Island and not see them. As hard as it was, it was the right thing to do.
Ellen was out in the garden when he arrived. She immediately came to greet him, giving him a bear hug as soon as he stepped out of the car. Then she stepped back and looked up into his face with sharp, questioning eyes. “You look thin, Jake.” She frowned. “Have you been taking care of yourself?”
He gave her a halfhearted smile. The consummate mother hen, Ellen always knew when things weren’t quite right. “I’m fine,” he told her.
She stared up at him for a few seconds longer, seeming unconvinced, then she took his hands in hers. “Come on. Let’s go inside. Mitch is waiting for you.”
Mitch greeted Jake just as warmly as Ellen had. Not that he’d expected anything different. The Blooms had been like second parents to him from the time he and Jessica were dating until they got married and beyond. Even after Jessica’s death they showed him no resentment but continued to welcome him into their home.
“Don’t blame yourself,” they’d told him. “It was an accident. She’s with God now.”
They seemed to have taken it better than he had. Of course they would. They’d had no hand in her death so there was no reason for them to be racked with guilt. For him, though, it was another matter.
“You’ll stay for dinner, won’t you?” Ellen was saying.
Jake nodded automatically. What was the point in saying no? Ellen would only nag him until she wore him down and he ended up staying anyway. This time he decided to avoid the torture and just give in right away.
As he walked through the house he kept his face emotionless but he was feeling anything but. There were so many things there that screamed Jessica – the old piano where she used to perch on the stool and play him her favorite love songs, the painting they’d picked out together for her mother’s sixtieth birthday, and the old photo album that still sat on the coffee table. He’d flipped through it so many times, laughing at photos of Jessica in diapers, Jessica clutching her blankie on her first day of preschool, Jessica at her high school graduation. Now, instead of joy and laughter, the sight of the album only brought him pain.
Jake spent the next five hours with Ellen and Mitch and although it got a little easier as time passed it was with relief that he finally said goodbye and headed for home.
