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The tires turned, the tread catching the pebbles in the road. My heart beat faster in my chest, a painful high-strung melody of pulses I reveled in. I knew I was safe with Kyle's hands on the wheel. I knew I was safe with Kyle controlling the car. So, why couldn't I accept the idea of Jace controlling my life when I found it so easy for Kyle to take me on a walk along death's pathway? Why did it frighten me so very bad that I might decide to give Jace that power over me?
I didn't know. I just didn't know. Jace was everything I wanted, of that I was certain. But he frightened me none-the-less. He had the power to not only control me. He had the power to make me and he had the power to break me. Everything he was terrified me, pushing me to the brink of insanity.
The engine whined as it came down off it's elating high and I opened my eyes. Kyle was looking over at me with a look of thought on his face. I felt my skin tingle with the formations of a blush.
"You closed your eyes."
"I did." I nodded and tried to ignore the way my ears burned.
"You've never been able to trust enough to close your eyes." He pointed out as the car rolled to a stop.
"Thanks for stating the obvious," I joked.
"I'm serious, Olivia. One of your greatest faults is your inability to trust in anything or anyone, yourself included. Even things like this, being a passenger in this car and needing to watch the road as though it gives you some semblance of control - when it truly doesn't is your way of grappling for control over your life. What is it you fear so much that you can't let go and trust?"
Wow. That hit home. Kyle was usually a man of very few words. So this came as a surprise and for a moment I was rendered completely speechless. When I found my voice, all I could utter was, "I don't know."
"You do know, Olivia." He nodded more to himself then to me. "We all know our own demons. It's facing them that's hard."
I shivered. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"You do." He said simply. "And one day, although clearly not today, you will be ready to admit that."
This was uncomfortable. "I should get going."
"Olivia?" Kyle called as I opened the door. "Be careful with Jace. He's protective of what he loves. But he is also dangerous to those who stand in the way of something he wants. I like the guy, but I also know him better then you might think."
"I'll be careful, Kyle." I smiled. "I'll see you again soon." I promised and I had a feeling I would. I didn't see Jace calming his control freak issues any time soon. And I was certain I would need my outlet. I just hoped he never found out where I went. For some reason, I didn't think Jace would be all too happy if he knew I went gallivanting across New York to Kyle for release. But it was where I felt I could breathe when no other place would do. I needed this. I would just have to keep it to myself.
***
I paced the floor my office in my bare feet. My shoes were killing me and I vowed to never wear them again. I knew it was a vow I would break. The shoes were so freaking adorable, I couldn't imagine their life being lived out in the back of a closet. It would be an offence I simply could not imagine committing. They currently sat on the plush area rug by the fireplace. I paused my pacing to stare at the shoes and glared. They weren't yet forgiven. Adorable or not, they'd given me blisters.
I'd come straight to the café as soon as I was done riding with Kyle. Trisha had been relentless on the fact that I could just take the rest of the day off too. The girl loathed work. But she liked Franco and I knew that was why she wanted to stay. It took me nearly an hour to get her to walk to the front door. When she and Franco continued with their easy bantering there, I'd thrown my hands up in defeat and walked to the back of the café.
I wanted to be alone with my thoughts and I couldn't think of a better, more peaceful place then in my own domain of quietness. With the fireplace lit and the serine gold coloring of the walls, I felt calm.
"Olivia." The familiar deep voice pulled a shiver from within my body, rattling my bones.
I spun around to face the sharp blue eyes that seemed to look right through me. They saw every part of me. Even the parts I longed to keep hidden. He leaned against the open door with his arms crossed over his chest. His jaw was stiff and his stance unmoving. My breath caught. "Jace?"
"Where were you, Olivia?"
I frowned. "What do you mean?"
"When you dodged from my car like a lunatic, I thought you'd come here like you said you would. But you didn't come here. Where did you go?" He stepped forward, letting the door fall closed behind him.
