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He hated me so much I made him lose his appetite? A disgruntled Evie looked at me like, well, I guess I’ll help you.
I stood, not feeling all that hungry myself. In fact, I felt quite ill. I found Bobby Jay’s friendly but concerned face. “Bobby Jay, I’m real, real proud of you. Congratulations.” Before Bobby Jay could respond, I braved looking at Ryder, who was already staring intently at me. “Congratulations to you too,” my voice cracked, though I meant every word. From the bottom of my heart I did. I took a quick deep breath to steady myself. “I’m going to go now. I forgot I need to set up some social media ads.”
Bobby Jay stood and went to say something.
I waved for him to sit down. “I’m just fine. Good night, everyone.” I spun on my heels and click-clacked my way out of there, but not fast enough. I heard Bobby Jay growl, “You damn fool.”
That only lent fuel to Marlowe’s and Macey’s suspicions. I made out Macey asking why I was so upset and Marlowe replying, “Isn’t it obvious?” Emma told them to drop it before she came running after me.
I’d made a scene. A properly bred Southern woman was never supposed to make a scene. We were supposed to grin and bear it. Never let them see past the perfect faux exterior. Now it made sense why Momma came home and drank herself into oblivion. When you had to pretend your life was an endless fairytale, it got exhausting and lonely. It was one of the reasons I fell in love with Ryder. I didn’t have to pretend. If I had a bad day at work, I could vent with no judgment. Once I had to deliver a stillborn—one of the worst experiences of my life. He let me cry all night in his arms.
I hit the sidewalk before Emma made it out. “Shelby.”
“I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine,” I desperately tried to keep my voice steady while I walked away.
Emma wasn’t having it. She took my hand to stop me before embracing me. “You’re not fine,” she whispered. “And that’s okay.”
That was all the permission I needed. I collapsed into her arms, for once not caring that I was making a scene in the middle of the busy sidewalk where onlookers were passing by, trying not to look but unable to help themselves. My tears bathed her shirt. “I love you, Emma.”
She squeezed tighter. “Shelby, a year ago I never thought I’d say this, but I love you too. You are one of my best friends.”
“I told you we would become the best of friends,” I laughed through my tears.
“Who would have ever thought?” She laughed along with me.
“Emma,” I clung to her like a child, “what am I going to do?”
“I’ve got a few ideas. For starters, I’m going to let Jenna know to get her shovel ready.”Chapter ThirteenAspen set down a platter of veggies and hummus on her kitchen table, looking happier than I’d ever seen her. “This is going to be sooo good!” She sat and put her arm around me. She hadn’t told me yet what we were doing, but she promised she had the solution to what ailed me. I was desperate to get over Ryder, so I came. Besides, a Saturday afternoon with girlfriends was always a good thing.
Aspen had us all sitting in a row facing her laptop that was perched on her small table in her cramped apartment.
I looked from left to right at the women who had become not only my friends but my family over the last year. Jenna sat at the end nursing Elliot. Was there anything more beautiful than seeing a mother feed her child? Whether by breast or bottle, I always felt it was like observing pure love. I wanted that so much for myself.
Emma sat next to me grimacing at the healthy snack platter. “It’s been almost two weeks; can we please take a break? Betty has been calling to me, and the Doughboy is butt hurt over our long separation. Don’t even get me going about the Doctor. He’s about ready to make our breakup Facebook official. And I’m not talking about my husband.”
We all laughed.
I rubbed her back. “But don’t you feel better now that you’ve detoxed from sugar?”
She scrunched her face. “You want to know how I feel? I feel hungry.”
“Well, you look great. Your skin is glowing.”
“Ugh,” she snarled. “Sawyer made that same comment today.”
Aspen jumped up from her seat next to me. “Ooh. It’s almost time.”
“Time for what?” I asked.
Aspen wagged her perfectly shaped brows. They were so perfect they looked micro bladed, but they were all natural. Honestly, she was one of the most naturally beautiful women I knew, with long wavy golden-brown hair and the most stunning emerald eyes. Her daughter Chloe was her mini me. Chloe was at her grandparents’ house because Aspen said whatever it was we were going to watch wasn’t for her tween’s eyes. That made me nervous. Surely she knew I wasn’t that kind of girl.
