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“When Axe was a puppy and I’d just gotten him from a buddy of mine, I made the mistake of leaving my bowl of broccoli cheddar soup on the coffee table to take a piss. When I came back, the bowl was gone. I’m talking, the entire fucking paper bowl that it was in was completely gone, along with the soup inside of it. About five hours later I’m woken up in the middle of the night by my dog just going fucking nuts in his kennel. I go into the room I’d locked him and his kennel in and walk into a fog of the foulest smell I’d ever smelled in my life. But when I look at the dog, expecting the worst, neither him or the kennel is dirty. I let him out, and he literally shits for like fifteen minutes straight. It was awful, and I learned that he has a sensitive stomach,” I described.
There are snickers all around, but it was Dax who had my girl crying again.
“My dad fed my child ice cream last week and he didn’t take it all that well. A couple of hours later he had a huge blowout,” Dax said, giving his boy a jiggle.
His son gave a small whimper and Sierra’s face turned toward the sound.
Then she kind of… broke.
When I looked up again after her next breakdown, everyone was gone. Even her parents.
I dropped my mouth to a clean, unbruised part of her shoulder.
“We’re going to get through this, baby. One step at a time,” I promised.
She hiccupped. “I hope so, Malachi. I hope so.”
“It’s my turn to pick you up and put you back together,” I informed her. “And you’re going to let me.”CHAPTER 21I love the smell of don’t fuck with me in the morning.-Coffee CupSIERRAOne week laterSierra,
Today, I woke up to you lying in bed beside me.
For the first time in a long time, I didn’t wake screaming from my usual nightmares. I screamed because I thought I’d lost you.
I don’t ever want to lose you.
I’ve given this a whole lot of thought, and there is one thing that I’m one hundred percent convinced of.
I want you to be in my life. Forever.
Will you marry me?
Malachi Gabriel Gnocchi
• • •
I looked at the letter and cried.
Again.
This was my fourth time today, but at least it wasn’t because of what had happened to me.
This was because of the letter that I’d found sitting beside me as I’d woken up.
After reading the letter, I’d found a ring attached to the letter, and I’d oh, so carefully taken it off of the letter so I could save the paper, then slipped the ring onto my finger.
I’d been crying a lot lately.
I’d been discharged out of the hospital two days ago, and today I had an OB/GYN appointment with my doctor to discuss the options that we had.
My baby was still hanging in there, but the doctor informed me that with the amount of blood I was losing, it was only a matter of time before she wasn’t anymore.
“I want to do this alone,” I said to him.
He looked at me like I was a raving lunatic. “I’m going with you, and you’re not going to give me any argument.”
• • •
“This is what’s known as a subchorionic hemorrhage,” the doctor said as he showed me a dark spot on the screen beside the amniotic sac. “In this condition, blood forms between the sac and the wall of the uterus.”
The doctor’s explanation didn’t make me feel any better.
“What’s that mean?” I asked, looking over at Malachi who’d refused to listen to my insistence that I go to this alone.
“It means that there might be another reason for your bleeding.” He paused. “Or it might be a combination of a threatened miscarriage and a subchorionic hemorrhage. At this point, it’s just a guessing game.” He looked at me. “From here on out, you’re on bed rest. You can have an hour up every single day, but that’s it. We’ll have twice weekly appointments until I’m convinced that you’re better and can carry on with your usual scheduled appointments.” He looked me over, focusing on some of the bruises on my face. “This beating that you took was very tough on your body. Your baby’s hanging in there, but I don’t want you to get your hopes up here, Sierra. This may, or may not, work out. But it’s a very real possibility that it won’t.”
“But it might,” Malachi said, sounding hopeful.
“Yes,” he said. “She’s gone this far and done well. A week of bleeding isn’t good, but it’s slowed quite a lot from the last time that I saw her. It’s possible that everything will work out just fine.”
I wouldn’t hold out hope, that was for sure. I didn’t want to think that this thing would get better when it might not.
