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This is where I’m needed, and I love it.

Really. I do.* * *“Thanks for meeting me for lunch,” my friend, Lindsey, says with a happy sigh as we sit in our booth at the diner downtown. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

“I know. We had two bear cubs come in a couple of weeks ago after their mother was poached, and they require around-the-clock care. Work’s just been really busy.”

“Ally, you need to have more than wild animals in your life.”

“No.” I sip my Coke. “I don’t.”

“Sure, you do. You’re a young, vibrant, beautiful woman. You need a man.”

I shake my head.

“A woman?”

I laugh and sip my drink again. “I don’t have time or the need for a relationship.”

“We make time for the things that are important to us,” she says with absolute sincerity in her voice. “I know some single guys—”

“Seriously. I’m fine.”

“Okay.” She sighs and smiles at the waitress who’s just appeared to take our order. “Hey, Kate. I’ll have the chicken salad sandwich with fries.”

“Taco salad for me,” I say, and we pass her our menus. “What have you been up to?”

“Work, mostly.”

I raise a brow. “Hi there, pot, I’m kettle.”

She snorts. “I know, I sound like a hypocrite. The spa has been super busy this summer with the crazy tourist season.”

Lindsey manages the spa for a big resort that sits right on the water. I met her three summers ago when I went in for a massage that had been a gift from my boss.

“So, you must have broken things off with Peter?”

She wrinkles her nose. “Peter was a jerk. He brought me coffee to work one day—”

“Totally a jerk.”

“—and he also had two donuts with him. He ate them both in front of me. I mean, what kind of monster does that?”

“I might have decked him.”

“I thought about it.” Lindsey shakes her head. “So, yeah, I broke that off. You know what we need?”

“I think you’re about to tell me.”

“A girls’ night out.” She smiles, clearly proud of herself, and I shake my head. “Come on, Al, we’re not nuns. We should go out and let loose a little bit. Maybe meet a hot dude and have a little fun.”

“I work super early in the morning. You remember that, right?”

“Everyone needs a day off. Even you.”

“Until we find someone to replace Stephanie, it’s not going to happen anytime soon.”

Lindsey scowls and glances up at a TV that’s silently playing the news above my head.

“Oh, man.”

“What?”

She gestures to the TV with her chin. “I used to be obsessed with that family when I was younger.”

“What family?”

I turn to look at the TV and freeze.

Matriarch of most powerful mafia family on the west coast dead.

That would be my grandmother.

My grandma is gone.

I watch the words scroll on the screen as blood rushes through my ears, blocking everything out. My grandmother, the most important person in my life, is gone, and I can’t talk to anyone about it. I can’t call my cousins or my uncle, Carlo, to ask how it happened or to find out when her service is so I can go home for it.

I can’t do anything.

“Ally.”

I turn and blink at Lindsey, who’s now scowling at me.

“Yeah?”

“I called your name like ten times. Where did you go?”

I shake my head. “Sorry, I was just reading about the story.”

“The Watkins and Martinelli families always fascinated me,” she continues, sprinkling salt on her fries. “I mean, the sons on the Martinelli side? Have you seen them? Talk about hot. I might be willing to be a mobster wife if I could snag me one of those.”

I blink at the plate of food in front of me. When did it arrive?

“I mean, how weird would it be to be part of that family?” she continues. “I always thought the mafia was something from the 1920s, not modern-day.”

I nod, my mind racing.

“You know what? I forgot about an appointment I have this afternoon.” I set my napkin on the table and reach for my purse. “I’m so sorry, but I have to go.”

“You haven’t eaten.”

“I’m not really hungry.”

“You can have it boxed up.”

I shake my head. “That’s okay. I’m sorry. Here’s a twenty.”

I toss the bill on the table and hurry away, trying to control the tears until I’m in my car alone. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. I’m such an idiot. Acting this way will only draw attention to myself, and it’ll have Lindsey asking questions later.

Like…why would the death of an old woman I don’t even know make me so crazy?

I hurry to my car. Once inside, I drive away, leaving Bandon behind. Twenty miles later, I enter a Walmart and hurry back to the electronics section.

I can’t call my family. They don’t know where I am. My grandmother made sure of that eight years ago. I endured four more years of being under my father’s thumb before he was sent to prison and was killed there. My mother was also murdered, and my grandmother sent me away, afraid that I would be the next target.

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