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“Will do, babe. Lock up behind me.” It takes everything I have to pull away from her and walk out the door. This week has been more than I can describe. Spending time with them and getting to see them together as a family. I long to be a part of it. The more time I spend with them, the more that becomes clear to me.
I want them to be my family.
In the living room, I flip through the TV channels, but nothing is gaining my interest. It could be because my interest is about ten minutes across town. The Walmart bag with the doll and the other stuffed animal are staring at me from where I dropped the bag on the chair earlier this week. I don’t know when I’m going to give them to her, but I knew she had to have them. Sounds crazy now, but at the time, all I could think about was making that little girl smile. Both of them.
Glancing at the clock, it’s just before nine. I have another hour before I have to be there. I should have slept in, but that’s impossible. I’m used to getting up early for work, so the weekends are ruined for me. Turning off the TV, I toss the remote on the couch cushion next to me and call my parents and check-in.
“Seth, how are you, son?” Dad answers.
“Hey, Dad. Good. How are things?”
“Can’t complain. How about you? Anything new?”
I hesitate for maybe a second before blurting it out. “Yeah, Mara and I are dating.”
“Mara? That’s Amelia’s friend, right?”
“Yeah, she and her daughter, Finley, just moved to town. She’s working at Beckett for Ridge.”
“And the two of you are dating?” he clarifies.
“Yeah, she and I’ve been talking since she was here over the summer. Nothing official, just texting back and forth, a phone call here or there. Now that she’s here, we’re seeing where things go.”
“She’s a mom.”
“I know.”
“You know what that means?”
I chuckle. “Yeah, you can ask Mark all about that conversation. I was battling with it in my mind, and when everything went down with Daisy, I gave him the same speech. I know what it means. I know it’s two hearts on the line. But it’s actually three. I really like her.”
“Well, you’re going to have to bring them over for dinner. I’ll have your mother call you to set it up.”
“Where is Mom? I assumed she’d already be listening in to our conversation by now.”
“Oh, she’s out shopping with Sonia. They went to the outlet malls today. What are you getting into?”
“Mara and I are going to buy Finley a big-girl bed. Well, I mean a twin-size bed. Sorry, that’s what we called it all day yesterday when we painted her room.”
“Sounds like you’re settling in.”
“I hope so.”
“Just be yourself, son. She won’t be able to resist you. Your mother will be thrilled. She’s been yacking about grandkids since Knox was born.”
“Like she’s the only one,” I say, chuckling.
“Fine, we both want them while we’re still young enough to enjoy them.”
“Well, maybe I can talk Mara into a date night, and you and Mom can watch Finley for us?” I ask.
“You tell us when and we’re there. I’m not going to mention it to your mother. I wouldn’t put it past her to call Sonia and have her help convince Mara to let us keep the tyke for a couple of hours.”
“Well, if I need backup, I’m definitely calling Mom.” I know the power of persuasion when our mothers band together. Sonia and Mom will be no match for Mara. “All right, I’m heading over there now, I just wanted to call and catch up.”
“Good to hear from you, son. I’ll have your mom call and set up dinner. We need to meet Mara and Finley again now that things are official. Welcome them to the family.”
“Will do. Talk to you later.” I end the call with a smile on my face. My parents are nothing short of amazing. I don’t know how they’ve put up with me all these years and still laugh about the shit the guys and I used to do back in the day. Nothing illegal, but we were always getting into something and eating them out of house and home. Not once did they complain. They just welcomed my friends with open arms. All five of us were lucky in that department. Amelia too. Although her parents were a lot older than ours, so they were kind of the outcasts of the group, staying to themselves, and we hardly ever went there. She was always with us.
That was a good way to spend fifteen minutes, but I can’t wait any longer. Grabbing my phone, I slide it into my pocket, collect my coat, and head outside to start my truck. I mess around outside, shoveling the small amount of snow that fell last night from the sidewalk while the truck warms up, and fifteen minutes later, I’m pulling into her driveway, parking my truck beside Amelia’s car.
I knock once and hear Finley yell, “Sef,” which brings a smile to my face. I hear her little feet pad across the floor and Mara’s voice telling her to not open the door. When the door finally opens, I’m greeted by my girls.
“Sef.” Finley holds her hands out for me, and I don’t hesitate to take her from Mara.
“Hey, Finny.” I tickle her side, making her squirm.
“You’re letting in all the cold air.” Mara laughs as I step in and toe-off my boots. Leaning down, I kiss her forehead. “Morning, babe.”
“Oh, how the mighty have fallen,” Amelia chirps from her spot at the kitchen table.
“I’m enjoying the ride,” I say, my eyes never leaving Mara. “You need any help?”
“No, I’ve made a breakfast casserole. It should be ready in another twenty minutes.”
“Well, Finny, what do you say we go do some coloring so Mommy and Aunt Amelia can catch up?”
“Cowor.” She cheers and wriggles until I let her down, and she races to the coffee table where her coloring books and crayons are laid out.
“Missed you,” I say, kissing the corner of Mara’s mouth while Finley is occupied before joining her in the living room. I can hear Mara and Amelia chatting, but Finley demands my attention as she shows me each color, and she changes them frequently. I hear laughter and look over to find Mara with her head tilted back and a huge smile on her face. Amelia is laughing and waving her hands in the air, telling a story. A knot twists in my gut. I’m going to need to tell Mara about New Year’s Eve. Even though I can’t remember it—neither one of us can—and it meant nothing, I still have to tell her.
I didn’t cheat on her, although it feels like I did. We weren’t dating. Hell, we weren’t anything at that point, but the thought of us being more was there in the back of my mind. I never should have drunk that much. If I had been sober or less trashed, I would have known better. I slept with one of my best friends. Not only that, she’s my girlfriend’s one and only friend as well. I’m scared as hell that she’ll push me away. I won’t go quietly, certainly not without a fight. I fought myself for long enough, worried I wouldn’t be enough for them, both her and Finley. Now that they’re here and in my life, I want more time with them. I will strive each day to be what they need.
“Seth.” Mara’s soft voice accompanies her hand on my shoulder, bringing me out of my thoughts. “You okay?” she asks when I look up at her.
“Yeah, just dazed off there for a minute. Are you ready for us?” I look over to discover Finley is no longer sitting beside me.
“She heard me yell that it was read
y. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yes.” I stand and kiss her temple. “Just lost in thought.”
“Anything you want to talk about?”
“Not really.” I lie. “Just thinking about how much I like us, you, me, and Finley.” That is not a lie.
Her face lights up in a smile. “I like us too.”
Snaking a hand around her waist, I guide us to the kitchen. Amelia is already eating, as is Finley. I take a seat next to the high chair, and Mara sits on the other side.
“Bite.” Finley offers me her spoon with a bite of her casserole on it. Leaning in, I pretend to eat it and she cackles with laughter. “Bite, Sef,” she says, holding it out again. I pretend again, but she’s not having it. “Bite.” She grins.
Taking the hint, I wrap my lips around her spoon and exaggerate a moaning sound like it’s the best food I’ve ever tasted. It’s not too far of an exaggeration; it’s pretty damn good. “Yummy.” My real bite must appease her because she goes back to shoveling in her breakfast. “Morning, A,” I say to Amelia as I make my plate.
“Morning.” She grins. “I’ve been hearing all kinds of things about you, Seth Jennings.”
“Oh, yeah? All good I hope.” I focus on taking my first bite instead of looking over at Mara.
Amelia laughs. “Surprisingly. I’m actually kind of disappointed. I wanted to watch you sweat over the fall, but you jumped in feet first.”
“Do you blame me?” I ask her.
“Nope. Treat them right,” she warns, pointing her fork at me.
“You have my word.”
“Good. Now, what’s this big surprise Finley keeps yammering on about?” she asks.
“I told her I had a surprise for her today.”
“Oh, I love surprises.”
“You’re welcome to go with us,” Mara tells her. “We’re going to buy a b-e-d.” She spells it out. “For the big girl.” Mara nods toward Finley, who is completely focused on her breakfast.
“You’re buying it?” Amelia asks me.
“Right.” I laugh. “Like this one would let me get away with that. She made me be the bad guy and tell Finny she could only have one stuffed animal the other day.” I fake a pout, and Mara chuckles under her breath.
