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“I thought about you too. I remember wanting to run my fingers through your hair.” She reaches out and does just that.
Grabbing her hand, I pull it to my lips and kiss her palm before gripping it in mine. “I thought maybe it was a fluke, but then it happened every day for the next two weeks. You were all I could think about. So I managed to steal your number from Amelia’s phone and sent you a bullshit text asking how the job interview went. It’s not that I wasn’t interested. I was hoping you would get the job, so I could see you again. I took a chance, and over the next few months, your messages were what I looked forward to. I didn’t go out. I didn’t look for anyone else because I knew it was you.”
“I looked forward to those messages.” She smiles softly. “And the few times we actually talked, I would hear your deep voice for days after.”
“I wanted you. I knew that for certain. Mark and Dawn were in the middle of gaining custody of Daisy, and I gave him this big lecture on the importance of knowing what he was getting into dating a single mom. I was projecting, but in a way, it helped me see that you being a single mom wasn’t a burden; it’s a gift. Finny is an extension of you, and that little girl—” I tap my hand over my chest. “—she’s right here next to you. I wanted to be certain this was what I wanted. I didn’t want to come into your lives only to turn around and leave. Then I found out you were moving here. That first day, I knew there was no going back. I knew you and Finley were my future.”
“Is that so bad?”
“No. It’s not bad, but what comes next is.” I take a deep breath and just go for it. “New Year’s Eve, Mark and Dawn had a get-together. It was just us, the family. I was torn up because I wanted you, but you lived so far away. I had all kinds of things running through my head. I was still pissed you didn’t get the job that would have brought you closer to me. At the time, I still didn’t know it was Ridge who was hiring you. If I would have known, I would have given him shit for it. Anyway, I was pissed that you didn’t get the job. I was considering leaving Beckett Construction and finding a job near you, to see if we could make it work. My head was all over the place, and I know that sounds crazy because you had no idea. I never told you that I had fallen for you.”
“Seth.” Her eyes soften.
“Anyway, the kids were all with the grandparents so the adults could kick back. I watched my friends with their wives, and the more I watched them, the more I drank. I was jealous of what they had. I wanted that… with you. I drank until I couldn’t remember.”
“That’s not so bad.”
“That’s not all.” I take a deep breath, keep my grip on her hand, and force myself to continue. “We all stayed there. There was more than enough space, and we had a couple of air mattresses. Anyway, I woke up in the basement in the bedroom on an air mattress.” I pause, fighting off the urge to be sick as I put the nail in my coffin. “With Amelia.”
“With Amelia?” she repeats. I nod, giving her time to let my words sink in. “Oh my god.” She tries to pull her hand from mine, but I hold strong.
“Neither one of us remembers what happened. We were naked, and the uh, the condom was there.”
“You slept with my best friend?” she murmurs.
“She’s one of my best friends too, and it didn’t mean anything. Hell, we don’t even remember it happening. It’s not like that between us. Kent said we were both out-of-our-minds wasted. We ended up in the downstairs bedroom and crashed. None of them know what happened because it was a mistake. One she and I both regret.” I hold tight to her hand, letting her process my words.
She’s quiet, too quiet as a single tear trails down her cheek. “I have to go. I need to process this.”
“No, you said you wouldn’t go. We have to talk about this.”
“Damn it, Seth. I just… I need a minute.”
“Finny’s sleeping,” I say in an attempt to keep her here.
“Can you keep an eye on her for me? I just need to go. I’ll be back, I promise. I— Please, Seth. I just need some air.”
“I don’t think you should be driving when you’re upset.”
She wipes at her cheeks. “I’m okay to drive. Trust me. I would never do anything that would leave my daughter alone in this world. I never want her to feel what I did growing up.”
“Okay.” What else can I say? “I’ll watch her. Take all the time you need, just… come home to me.”
“I’ll be back. I just want to take a drive and clear my head. I need to process all of this.” She pulls her hand from my grip, and this time, I let her. She stands and I follow her down the hall and to the living room. She peeks in on Finley and then grabs her purse, coat, and phone before sliding her feet into her boots.
“I love you, Mara. Please be safe. Check in with me, okay?” Fuck me, I don’t want her to leave, but she’s leaving Finny with me. That’s a good sign. At least I hope so. Regardless, she’ll have to come back for her.
“I’ll be back.” She turns and walks out the door. It’s not a declaration of love, but I’ll take it. She could be running away with Finley.
Through the window, I watch until I can no longer see her car. Making my way to the living room, I settle on the couch and watch Finley sleep. I love this little girl as if she were my own. I can’t imagine my life without Mara or Finley in it. I’ll fight for them. Every day of forever I’ll fight for them. After all, they’re my heart.
Chapter Ten
Mara 10
* * *
He slept with my best friend. The man I love, the one who treats my daughter as if she were his own, the man who just asked me to move in with him. He slept with my only friend. I’ve been driving around for almost an hour, and I still can’t seem to wrap my head around this new information.
My phone vibrates from its spot in the cupholder. I assume it’s Seth, but a quick glance at the screen tells me I’m wrong. It
’s Amelia. Taking a deep breath, I swipe at the screen and place the phone to my ear. “Hello.”
“Mara, we need to talk.”
“Yeah,” I say, because I know it’s true. I’ve just been in denial and wasting gas.
“Seth called me. Are you okay?”
“Fine.”
“Where are you?”
“Out driving.”
“I’ll meet you. Where do you want to go?”
“My place.”
“I’ll be there in ten.”
“I’m about twenty minutes away.”
“Okay. I’ll stop and grab us a couple of coffees. We’re going to need them.” She ends the call, and I sigh, dropping my phone back into the cupholder and turning around, pointing my car toward home.
Eighteen minutes later, I’m pulling into my driveway. Amelia is sitting on the front step with a carrier holding two coffees and a small bag next to her. “It’s freezing out here. Why are you not waiting in your car?” I call out as I walk toward her.
“I’ve only been here for a minute or two. I knew you had to be close. Besides, I like the fresh air.”
“Get inside before you get sick,” I admonish. She mumbles something I don’t catch and follows me inside. We take off our coats and sit on opposite ends of the couch. Amelia leans forward, grabs a coffee, and hands it to me, taking the other for herself.
“It meant nothing. If anything, I’m a little disgusted. It’s like sleeping with my brother.” She shudders.
“I want to believe that, but come on, Amelia. You don’t sleep around.”
“I drank way too much that night. I remember dancing in the basement, but after that, things go black… until we woke up the next day.”
“That’s not like you. You never drink that much. What’s going on?”
“Nothing. Just had some things on my mind lately.”
“Like sleeping with my boyfriend?” I ask snidely. I know it’s rude, but I can’t help it. She’s hiding something from me, and I can’t help but think that it might be her true feelings about Seth.
