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“What do you mean just once?”
“Well, ever since… Ryan has been in bed with me so…”
“God, don’t I know that story. Kids are the ultimate cock blocker,” Dani mumbles, and she’s not wrong.
“Yeah,” I respond, feeling as dejected as she looks.
“Well, what we need here is a plan.”
“A plan?”
“Yep. We’ll call it Operation Get Rory Laid.”
“Uh….”
“I’ll have Dakota invite Ryan over to a giant slumber party with him and the rest of my brood. I’ll make sure they have all the junk food I can buy and I’ll rent the latest new releases and let them have at it. They can take over the bar area with their sleeping bags and shit. And I’ll have Zander drag out the projector screen to put the movies on.”
“Um… I don’t think the men will like giving up their bar for the kids.”
“Ask me if I care?”
“Okay then, I don’t think the men will listen to you,” I tell her and that’s when she gets this wide grin on her face.
“Hey Diesel!” she yells across the room. Her voice carries easily, even over the music and talking.
“Yo,” he says looking over at us. He smiles at me and I hesitantly return it.
“Can you order the men to go in town for their festivities tomorrow night?”
At that question, the room goes quiet.
“Why would I do that?” Noah asks.
“I’m going to need the bar area for the kids. My brood’s going to have a giant sleep over.”
“Dani, I don’t think my men really want to—”
“I’ll be inviting Ryan,” she adds and I just hold my head down at this point. Noah is many things, but the man is not stupid. He doesn’t need a house to fall on him.
“Ryan?”
“Yep. He’ll be with my kids… all night. You got a problem with that?”
“I’ll make sure the men give you the room,” he says right away.
“Thought you might,” she laughs and then turns back around.
“I hate you,” I mutter, afraid to look at Noah at this point.
“Did you know that you blush the same shade as your hair, Red?”
“I’m currently plotting your murder,” I warn her.
“Oh stop. I’m just being a good friend. Besides, I’m not doing this out of the goodness of my little heart.”
“You’re not?”
“Nope, I’ll want payback.”
“I’m almost afraid to ask,” I grumble.
“You get to watch over my bunch for a night, while I take Zander back to our lake house and remind him of all the ways he should be grateful I claimed his ass.”
I think this over. Dani and Crusher have a lot of kids, but they’re all older than Ryan—with the exception of their little girl. I think I’m probably getting the better end of the deal. Plus, I’ll hopefully get more time with Noah.
“It’s a deal.”
“I thought you’d see things my way. Now, do I take this to mean that you guys have patched things up?”
“Not really. I mean it’s definitely better, but Dani… there’s so much water under the bridge… I’m not sure it can ever be fixed.”
“Do you love him?”
“So much… but I don’t think love is supposed to be this painful.”
“Bullshit,” she says, taking a drink of her Coke and rum.
“No, really—”
“Rory, love is the most painful fucking emotion there is. Doesn’t matter if it’s because you’re experiencing it, or you’re defending it, it’s still damn painful either way.”
“Then why even bother?” I ask her, trying not to let fear swallow me whole.
“Because it makes us feel alive. It gives us a reason. Trust me when I tell you that I wasted a lot of years trying to just exist and feeling so cold inside I thought I might freeze to death. I’ll take time with Zander—no matter how that time comes—over the alternative any fucking day of the week and twice on Sundays.”
“That’s easy for you to say. You’re happy and don’t have a deranged madman in your past that you’re just waiting to pounce at any given minute.”
She just looks at me, all joking erased out of her face.
“Rory—”
“Dani, I’m not being melodramatic. I’m being honest. King is a monster and he will enjoy killing Noah even more if he knows how much I love him. He’ll torture him and do it for sport, making me watch, because he’ll get off on it,” I tell her.
She puts her hand over mine and grips it tight—so tight it is physically painful.
“We’re just getting to know each other, Rory. I get that. I’m going to tell you about a man in my past that is just like that if not worse. I don’t talk about him anymore. I’ve tried my best to erase him from my brain. Sometimes those ghosts come back and Zander works extra fucking hard erasing them for me.”
“You don’t have to tell me, Dani,” I whisper, my stomach churning. I don’t know if she meant to show me, but I can see those demons in her eyes right now. I see them clearly, because I know those demons intimately. I have the same ones deep inside of me.
