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Chapter Thirty-nine
Cash
-That’s me in a cockfight, losing to a fucking pigeon-
It is not my lawyer who gets to me first. It is Octavia. She prowls the small utilitarian room at the police station restlessly.
‘Forget it, Octavia. You’re wasting your time. It’s all over for me, anyway. I’m not coming back.’
‘Why is it over? What has any of this got to do with the band?’ Octavia looks about as malevolent as a scorpion crawling into a baby’s crib.
I look her in the eye. ‘There’s no fucking way I could be in the same room as Gavin after what he did.’
‘She was a slut. She came on to him.’ Her voice is full of anger.
I stare at her in disbelief. ‘What the hell are you talking about? You actually believe my sister came on to that brainless waste of skin?’
For the first time since I’ve known her she looks at me with confusion. ‘Your sister?’
The realization is instant. Bile rises up in my throat. My eyes narrow on her. ‘You were referring to Tori, weren’t you?’
She recovers fast. ‘Well, that’s neither here nor there now.’
Frustration bubbles up inside me. ‘What did he do to her?’ I ask with deceptive softness.
She hesitates, then shrugs carelessly. She doesn’t care that she’s tearing open my chest and ripping my heart out. ‘I found her on Gavin’s lap. She was kissing him.’
My breath comes out in a rasp. I’ve never wanted to hit a woman before, but I would love to swing my fist into her pitiless, plastic face.
‘She was no good. Look how much damage she has caused. Don’t let her ruin everything. Please, Cash.’
‘Get the fuck out,’ I say through clenched teeth. My stomach burns. Be still heart. Be still.
‘Fuck this. I’m not having this. I worked around the clock, called in a lot of favors, made threats, and generally fucking sold my soul to keep your shitty story out of the media.’
‘Looks like you wasted your time. I’m out.’
She looks at me incredulously. ‘Are you really that stupid? Do you really want to throw your career away over a lying psychopath? You don’t even know who she is. We’ve been through a lot and we’ll overcome this if we stick together.’
I look at her impassively. ‘Fuck you, Octavia. I don’t care if they burn me in the headlines. I don’t care if the record company drops me and no one else picks me up. I’m through playing this game.’
She shakes her head in disgust. ‘You know what your problem is? You’ve started to believe your own hype. You’re nothing but a spoilt, talentless, fuckboy. The lead singer of a boy band singing jingles for teenagers and you’re nothing without me guiding your career,’ she screeches furiously.
I clap my hands. ‘Bravo. Finally, the moment of truth. A little bit of what Octavia truly thinks. I actually prefer this to all the sickening lies. The band can continue without me. Find a replacement for me. Shouldn’t be too hard considering how talentless I am.’
‘You’ll be sorry, but it will be too late. If I walk out of this door, I swear, there will be no way back for you.’
‘Bye.’
She clenches her hands into tight fists and grunts with anger. ‘I made you and I can break you.’
‘Have fun doing it.’
She turns on her heels and walks to the door. She puts her hand on the handle and turns around and smiles. ‘I know you are upset now. It doesn’t matter. I’ve taken care of everything. Of course, I’m not going to break you. I care about you. You’re like the son I never had.’
I wince. Even the idea of her as a mother figure makes me want to puke.
‘You need me,’ she adds fiercely.
I shake my head slowly.
‘Yes, you do. You’re just too immature to realize it. You’ll see soon enough how your career nosedives without me.’
I shrug. ‘You should go. You’re wasting your time.’
She opens the door and goes out. I hear her heels clicking sharply down the corridor.
How on earth did she ever manage to convince me that she was acting for my greater good?
Many years ago while I was in America I went into a diner for a meal and the guy flipping the burgers in the kitchen recognized me. Then I was not a celebrity, but I was a rising star. He came out and told me he was once a one hit wonder. His record sold in the millions. I never forgot what he said.
‘This industry is full of leeches. They glue their mouths to your skin and suck you dry. When there is nothing left to drain they drop off and look for the next unsuspecting victim.’
Tori
That night I can’t sleep at all. I lie in bed with the curtains open, looking at a starless sky. The whole time my mind is replaying the scene with Octavia reading my diary out and my body is listening for the phone or the sound of a car pulling up on the road outside. He will forgive me. He will call. He has to. The mere thought of being without him gives me heart palpitations.
By six in the morning I finally drop off to sleep, exhausted and defeated. The sound of a car coming up our driveway wakes me up at nine o’clock. I run to the window and look down. For a second my heart stops. It’s Victor. Then I see him get out of the car, open his boot, and take out a large cardboard box.
I have to cover my mouth to stop the sobs from escaping. I watch him walk up the path and come up to the house. I hear the doorbell ring and I hear my aunt answer it, but I don’t come down from the bedroom. I just stand at the window and watch Victor go back to his car and drive away.
After a few minutes my aunt comes up and knocks on the door.
I go and sit on the bed and say, ‘Come in.’
She comes in with the box. ‘Your things. It was nice of them, wasn’t it?’ she says, putting the box on the nearby desk.
My throat feels hot and constricted. I nod wordlessly.
‘Do you want to come down for some breakfast?’
‘In a while,’ I say softly.
‘OK, I’ll see you downstairs then,’ she says.
‘OK,’ I say, relieved that my aunt doesn’t want to talk ‘about it’.
She closes the door and goes out. I stand and walk to the box. I pull the duct tape off and open it. The first thing I see is my mobile phone. I switch it on and check it for messages. Nothing. I look at calls received and … nothing. There is a letter. I recognize the writing on the envelope as Cora’s.
Dear Tori,
I’m so sorry, duckie, that it happened the way it did. You didn’t deserve that. I still believe in you. There must be a way to work this out. If there’s any way I can help you just let me know and I’ll do everything in my power to do so.
With love and hugs,
Cora
I feel tears blur my vision. I put down the letter and go through the box. The leopard print dress is in there and so are the Medusa tri-strap shoes. At the bottom of the box I find another envelope with Mr. Hunter’s writing on it. Inside there is a check made out to me, the sum equivalent to two months’ wages. He has stuck a Post-it Note on it with the words Thank You. I think of Britney’s face when Octavia was reading my diary out and I have to close my eyes and breathe slowly and deeply or the blinding regret I feel will make me scream uncontrollably.
If only I had not taken that damn diary with me or if only I had never written those things. If only I had told Cash earlier. I had the perfect opp
ortunity while we were upstairs, but instead I had sex with him. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Then I suddenly realize that my diary is not in the box.
I wonder who has it and why they have not returned it. I hope Britney has it, because if she reads it all she will realize that I only felt she was shallow and selfish before we got close that night at the pool party. By the time we went to Milan together she was the sister I never had.
I get dressed, braid my hair — concentrating on the mundane is the best distraction from grief — and go downstairs where I talk to my aunt and pretend that I am not dying inside. My mom calls and I repeat the lie that I am fine with faux cheerfulness.
‘Are you sure?’ she asks.
‘Yeah, I’m sure. It was all a stupid misunderstanding.’
‘But your aunt said—’
‘Anyway, it’s all for the best,’ I interrupt, shutting her down with brutal efficiency.
‘I love you, Tori,’ she says after a pained pause.
‘I love you too, Mom,’ I say, and my voice almost breaks, but I manage to control it enough to say goodbye.
It is even harder to do when my dad comes on the phone and asks if I want him to send me a ticket home. Then I just want to crawl into his lap and bawl my eyes out the way I used to when I was a little girl and anything went wrong in my life.
However, when Leah calls, the dam bursts. I don’t try to hide my pain. I tell her everything. Every hateful detail of my imploded world. ‘My heart is broken, Leah,’ I sob. I never thought it would hurt this much. Then I cry my eyes out.
Chapter Forty
Cash
The door opens and a man in a police uniform comes in. ‘You’re free to go now, Mr. Hunter.’
I stand and start walking towards the door.
‘Er … Do you mind signing this CD for my niece?’
I turn to look at him.
‘I … er … ran out to get it during my lunch break. It’s her birthday next month, you see.’ He holds the CD and a marker pen out to me.
