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“It’s not really something you get over, I would imagine. Just something you learn to live with,” she said.
I nodded. “It’s not just the loss of the person, you know? But the lasting effects on those left behind. My father resents me, whether he realizes it or not. He’s always treated me terribly, and I believe it’s because on some level he can’t forgive me. He knows it wasn’t my intention to hurt my sister, but he can’t see beyond what I did. If I hadn’t made that stupid decision, she’d still be alive. And he can’t let that go. Neither can I.”
“I’m sorry to hear that about your dad.”
“I’ve spent my whole life trying to make it up to him, but it’s never good enough, because nothing I do can bring my sister back. He avoids me mostly, distances himself from my mum and me, in general.”
“Are you and your mother close?”
“Yeah. My mum’s great.”
“She must miss you.”
“She does. But she checks in a lot. Coming here was as much about escaping the situation with Dad as it was experiencing a new place. Here, I feel wanted. As much as my mother loves me, I just don’t feel wanted back home because of my father.”
Teagan continued to look at me, soaking all of this in. Bless her for being such a good listener and dealing with this crap tonight.
I forced a smile. “See? You thought you were the only one with issues, Teagan. You were so wrong.”
“I don’t think there’s any comparison…”
“Exactly. I’m much more fucked up than you.”
She shook her head. “That’s not what I meant—just that we’re fucked up in different ways.”
“Welcome to the fucked-up-by-parents club. Have a seat. Stay a while.” I smiled and looked into her eyes. “Thank you for listening.”
“Of course. I was super worried about you all day. I’m glad you came to talk to me.”
I definitely felt better now that I’d let it out. “Me, too.”
She hesitated. “Does Veronica know?”
“No. I told her my sister died in an accident, but I haven’t told her the circumstances. I haven’t really wanted to go to this place in front of her. Not sure why. I guess I’m more comfortable in some ways around you. I don’t feel like you’re judgmental.”
She nodded. “I’m more defensive than judgmental.”
I lifted my brow. “Perhaps.”
“But seriously, Caleb, you’ll never have to worry about me judging you over this. Ever. Okay?”
I didn’t deserve her acceptance, but I took it. “Thank you, Teagan.”
I looked over at the time. It was late. Yet I had no desire to move from this spot. But considering I had made myself comfortable in Teagan’s bed, it wasn’t cool for me to stay here indefinitely.
Forcing myself up, I said, “Anyway, I’ll let you get to sleep.”
“You don’t have to go,” she countered.
I don’t want to go. But I need to.
“I’d better. It’s late.”
She got up from the bed, too. “Okay…”
We stared at each other for more than a few seconds, and I got the sudden urge to hug her. It felt like the natural thing to do after she’d let me pour out my soul.
So, I did.
The moment I leaned in, she fell into me, welcoming it. Her soft breasts pressed against my torso. The nonjudgment she spoke of manifested itself through her touch. In her arms, I felt truly accepted. It felt good. Too good. Too good as in “more than a friend” good. “More than a friend” great, in fact. Thus, dangerous.
Her heart beat against me, and I was sure she could feel mine beating as well. The top of her head was right against my chest. I took a long whiff of her hair and forced myself back.
We looked at each other for a few seconds more before I waved and walked out of the room.
As I went upstairs, my heart continued to race.CHAPTER NINE* * *TEAGANEven after a few days, I couldn’t get Caleb’s admission out of my mind. It was probably the most heartbreaking thing I could have imagined.
Then my mind would wander to the hug he’d given me. Though it was innocent, the warmth of his chest pressed against mine had lit a fire inside of me, one that still seemed to be simmering. Such a simple thing, and my body had taken it completely out of context. I wondered if he’d noticed the way my heart was beating out of control. My reaction was completely inappropriate given the sad circumstances, but I couldn’t help how attracted I was to him. Despite my not wanting to fall for Caleb, that seemed to be exactly what was happening.
I’d been hoping to run into him, but he hadn’t been around as much lately. I went upstairs to see what I could find out.
“Is Caleb home?” I asked Maura.
She shook her head. “I caught him as he was leaving for Veronica’s. He said he was going to spend the night there. He wanted to tell me so I wouldn’t worry. He’s so considerate.”
