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His stupid mouth got him in trouble a lot. “It’s hard to remember. Hey, you weren’t exactly an angel, either. As I recall, you showed up to the wedding with that asshole you were dating who thought he was the shit because he was on that soap opera.”
Her smile turned distinctly coy. “He came to Bond Aeronautics because he had to learn how to fly for a movie he was in. But I taught him lots more that summer.”
Her challenging expression told him she was waiting to see if he was a hypocrite. Sadly for Mad, he could be a big one, at least when it came to Sara.
“Last I heard he’s now doing local furniture commercials in the Midwest. So sad for him.”
She tsked at him and turned her attention back to the screen.
“Hey, I can’t help it if I’m jealous. I pretty much hate every man who’s ever touched you.”
“If I had the same attitude, I’d have to hate half the women on the planet, including one of my best friends.”
Damn it, he didn’t want to fight or hash out a past they couldn’t change. “I’m not saying this the right way. The truth is, I don’t blame a single one of your former lovers for wanting you. God knows I understand how they must have felt to be with you. I only wish…” He shrugged. “I wish I could look back on my life and that I’d only known you.”
“That’s ridiculous, Mad. You started having sex when you were what? Thirteen?”
“Actually, I had just turned seventeen.”
“Impossible.”
“No, I’m serious. Gabe had been the stud of Creighton for over a year. Your brother plowed through them all—students, teachers… Pretty sure even some of our moms.”
She scowled in denial. “He did not.”
Mad quit that topic. No reason to disillusion her more. “Anyway, you probably knew my first time was with Gus. That was nice. But after that…the first girl I really wanted to be my girlfriend was a beautiful girl from our sister school. I got with her, and after we did the deed, which was over far sooner than I’d like to admit, she asked me when she could meet Zack.”
Sara gasped. “Are you serious?”
“Even then, everyone knew how important Zack would be. I’ve had more than one woman use me to get to him. But that’s not the point. I’m trying to explain that I wish I’d waited for you. And when I think about those other guys, I hate that they got to spend time with you that I didn’t.”
Something soft crossed her face, but she pressed her lips together, not saying a word.
Trying not to be disheartened, he turned back to the pictures, his gaze landing on one of Joy in her white gown, pale roses in hand as she allowed the assistants to fix her long lacy veil. It had taken three young women to get it just right.
Something was off about that picture. Mad couldn’t quite figure it out, but that image bugged him for some reason.
“You were mighty busy with all those other women.”
She was missing the point. “I would never have bothered with the vast majority of those women if you had said yes the first time I asked you out. That’s the difference.”
“I was sixteen.”
He shrugged. “I would have happily walked away from any one of them to simply hold your hand.”
She turned back to the screen, but not before he saw her expression turn thoughtful.
Mad hoped that meant something good. In the last few days, she’d proven incredibly mulish. She hadn’t softened much. Oh, she’d been perfectly fine with him working beside her, talking to her about anything at all–except their relationship. If he brought that up, she would carefully stop whatever she’d been doing, escape into the bedroom, and shut him out. He had to take some solace that she hadn’t done it this time, but he also wasn’t going to push it. He’d said what he needed to say for now.
Baby steps. That was his new plan. By the time his daughter was walking, maybe her mom would smile at him again.
Or maybe she would have found someone else without his shitty reputation who hadn’t found himself ass deep in international espionage. Someone who would have concocted some clever way to keep them all together instead of immediately jumping off the nearest ledge into chaos.
Lately, he wondered if she was right about his decisions.
He shook off the introspection and resumed looking at the pictures, his gaze straying again to the image of Joy having her veil straightened. Her father was standing to the side, with Frank.
What was off with this snapshot?
“Gabe’s wedding was far more reserved, and I think he liked it that way,” she said, reaching again for the tea he’d brought her. “He didn’t like Zack’s wedding either. He thought it was more about the press than their devotion.”
“What was it like, Gabe and Everly’s wedding?”
Her lips curled up, but the smile seemed bittersweet. “Lovely and intimate. Only a few of us were there, all close friends and family. I won’t go into details. You’d get bored.”
“No. I want to hear everything. What did she wear?”
Sara turned. “Really?”
“She’s my sister and he’s…he was my best friend. I hate that I missed it. I was supposed to be his best man. We’d never talked about it or anything because we’re guys and we don’t plan weddings in our heads, but we both knew how it would go. Roman and Zack. Dax and Connor. Me and Gabe. And I missed it. I can’t get that moment back. Those guys…they’re the only family I have left. Hell, sometimes I think they were the only family I ever had.”
She stood and lifted her mug. “All right, then. I’ll tell you the whole story. Come to the kitchen though. I’m craving soup and I think there’s some chicken noodle in the pantry. But first, you were planning on tying all those neon dildos to Zack’s limo, right?”
Not only was Sara talking, she was joking with him. Humor and something even warmer lit her eyes again. That gave him hope in a way nothing else lately had. “After Roman’s threat, I didn’t dare. But I had this great idea to do a whole confetti-swap at the reception. Remember all those sparkly hearts they dropped on Zack and Joy during their first dance and how romantic everyone said that was? I was going to replace the hearts with penis-shaped glitter.” When Sara didn’t look amused, he sighed. “I can tell you don’t think that’s funny, but sometimes subtlety is called for. Imagine everyone smiling at how pretty the reception looked and how lovely the happy couple seemed in their confetti before the crowd realized they
were covered in dicks.”
Her laugh sent a wave of joy through him.
“You know, at some point I’ll throw Gabe and Ev a beautiful anniversary party because I would love to see that,” she vowed. “Now, we’ll start with the dress. Getting Everly in a decent wedding gown was not an easy task. She wasn’t remotely interested in designer. That girl is all about comfort.”
She continued talking as she returned to the monitor. Mad followed, his stare drifting back to that niggling photo.
He would figure it out eventually. For now, he just wanted to hear Sara’s story.
* * * *
From the doorway, Zack stared at the old man in his comfortable room. The hour was far later than he’d hoped, but then he’d gotten caught up in briefings about a skirmish of warring factions in the Middle East. So much war that had such far-reaching ramifications.
A butterfly flaps its wings…and oil prices go through the roof.
Sometimes he wished his father had wanted him to be an insurance salesman or something normal. Something where the fate of the freaking world didn’t rest on his shoulders.
“He had a good day,” the nurse was saying. “He always seems happier and more settled after Mr. Harding visits. These days, he seems to remember his friend better than almost anyone else.”
Maybe that wasn’t surprising since they’d been friends for decades. They’d definitely played a lot of golf together, and after the wedding, they’d been shoved together at every family function until Joy’s death. “I’m glad. Can you tell me something? Has he been wandering around a lot lately?”
“Not as much as usual,” he said. “Honestly, he’s seemed tired lately. He’s needed more medication than, say, a few weeks ago. Are you worried about him?”
No, he was trying to rationalize why Elizabeth had been in the Treaty Room shortly before they’d gone to Camp David. Yes, Gus had corroborated that Elizabeth had been told his father was wandering around upstairs, but Gus hadn’t seen Frank in the room herself. Roman kept harping that Elizabeth could be in bed with the Russians, but Zack refused to believe that she would riffle through his papers without a reason.
