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“You’re fucking serious?” I question. “You just want me to leave? Like, right now? Without you?”
“Yes, that’s what I want. I need space to get my head together. I’ll see you in New York in a few days.”
I just stand there, and it feels like my jaw drops through the fucking floor.
And then she up and walks out of the bedroom.
I hear her footsteps move down the stairs and the front door slam shut and the engine of her father’s truck start up.
And when I look out the window, I have the painful view of her leaving.
Leaving her parents’ driveway.
Leaving me.December 30th
Ava“Oh Ava, honey, have you lost weight?” my aunt Lily asks as she checks the fit on my bridesmaid dress. I stand on a step stool in the middle of my parents’ living room, and her fingers tug and pinch at the fabric around my waist.
Considering I haven’t been able to eat anything since I told Luke to leave yesterday morning, it’s possible I’ve lost a pound or two.
But I don’t tell her any of that.
“I don’t think so,” I lie out of self-preservation. There is no way in hell I’m going to tell her what’s really happened. For all my family knows, Luke had to leave yesterday because he was called in to work because another pilot was sick.
Why do they know that? Because that’s what I told them when my dad noticed he hadn’t seen Luke around and wanted to thank him for finishing up his Christmas décor cleanup.
The fact that he even did that for my dad makes my heart feel like glass, ready to shatter with each thick breath I inhale into my lungs.
You really screwed things up this time, didn’t you? my mind taunts me. You freaked the fuck out, and instead of being a rational adult about things, you told him to leave and stormed out of the house like a child.
I wish I could say I stand behind yesterday’s behavior and feel strongly that I handled it all correctly, but I can’t.
After I rushed out of the house, Luke tried to call me and text me at least a hundred times. And all I did was sit in my dad’s truck in a Walmart parking lot, bawling like a baby, only sending him one single response back.I just need space, Luke. Just go back to New York, and we’ll talk when I get back from my sister’s wedding.It was horrible. All of it.
And late last night, when I finally went back to my parents’ house and Luke’s stuff was out of my bedroom, I got one final text from him.I just want you to know that I’m getting ready to board a flight back to New York. It’s the last thing I want to do, but it’s what you want. And fuck, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Ace. I wish you would just talk to me and let me explain, but I’m going to honor your request of needing space. Even though it makes me feel like I’m leaving my heart in Vermont.The instant I read it, everything I had just done hit me.
And I mean, it hit me hard.
The fact that I quite literally freaked the fuck out and turned into an impulsive, emotional mess. The fact that he was right. I was pushing him away.
He definitely shouldn’t have lied to me about NASA, but I should’ve tried to understand why he kept that from me. I had a right to be hurt by it, but I also had the responsibility to control my emotions and not react in such a careless, rash way.
All night last night, our fight just kept replaying in mind, and all I could do was sit on my bed and cry. Big, sobbing, wracking cries, I’m honestly shocked my mom or dad didn’t catch on to.
“You okay, honey?” Aunt Lil asks, pulling me from my thoughts, and even though it feels like my whole entire world has ended, I force a fake smile to my lips.
“I’m good,” I respond. “Just a little tired from all of the fun-filled days of a Guy Lucie Christmas.”
She grins at that. “Your dad sure is something when it comes to Christmas, isn’t he?”
“He sure is.”
“So, your mom told me Luke might not be at the wedding,” she says, and her words make me cringe. But thankfully, her eyes are too fixated on the hem of my dress to notice my reaction.
“Uh…yeah,” I respond and clear the cobwebs from my throat. “A pilot got sick unexpectedly, so he had to go in and help them out.”
“Well, I hope he makes it back in time for the wedding.”
“Me too.” He won’t. Because I’m the one who uninvited him.
My poor, battered heart clenches, and I swallow hard against the emotion trying to take up residence in my throat.
