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I will not fucking lose it while Aunt Lil is fixing my bridesmaid’s dress for Kate’s wedding, which just so happens to be tomorrow.
I will keep it together.
I will try not to think about the fact that I feel like I just told the love of my life to walk away from me.
I will try not to think about the fact that I miss Luke so badly, my entire body aches and the mere idea of food makes me want to vomit.
And I will try not to think about how much I love him.
Yes. I will simply avoid all of those things and focus on being there for Kate on her big day.
Ha. Good luck with that, you lunatic.
I swear, if I could find a fucking time machine on Amazon and go back to yesterday morning, I’d Prime ship that shit so fast.
If I had the choice, I’d do yesterday all over again in a heartbeat.
And instead of telling Luke to leave, I would’ve told him to stay. I would’ve told him how I really feel. That I’m in love with him. That the idea of him leaving for Houston in less than a week feels like a knife to my chest.
Sadly, though, there are no time machines.
There’s a huge part of me that wants to call him and text him…just talk to him, but it doesn’t feel fair to unload everything on him in any other way but face-to-face. Especially when I’m the one who made him leave Vermont in the first place.
Way to fucking go, Ava.
The sound of the front door closing shut grabs my attention, and I look up to find Aunt Poppy walking into the kitchen.
“Hey hey!” she greets. “I just talked to your mom, and she said she and your sisters are on their way back from the bridal shop with Kate’s dress.”
“That’s great news.”
“And she also mentioned that Luke had to leave yesterday,” she adds, diving into the one thing I don’t want to talk about right now. “What the hell happened?”
“He had to go back to New York early.”
“Before your sister’s wedding?”
“Uh-huh.” I nod and swallow against the thick knot in my throat that is starting to become a permanent resident.
“Well, what in the hell made him have to leave early?” Aunt Poppy pushes with a hand to her hip.
“He was called in to work, you nosy wench,” Aunt Lil offers, talking around the pin she holds carefully between her lips. She glances up at me and fluffs out the bottom of my bridesmaid dress. “Though, he might be able to come back for Kate’s wedding but isn’t sure yet.”
“But I thought he was able to get off work to come here? Why in the hell did they call him back in?” The explanation does nothing to quell Aunt Poppy’s questions.
“One of the pilots got sick, and he had to go back and help out,” I supply, a full-blown lie that’s beginning to fall far too easily from my lips.
“Well, that’s a damn shame,” Poppy mutters and plops down on the sofa. “I sure hope he can get his ass back in time for the wedding. I bet that man looks hot to trot in a suit.”
“Uh-huh.” I force a smile to my lips, trying to act like everything is just peachy keen, but I can feel her watching me like a hawk. So, I try my damnedest to switch the freaking subject. “Are you here to let Aunt Lil do some alterations to your dress?”
“I can do my own damn alterations.” Poppy scoffs, stands up, and walks into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the fridge.
Aunt Lil grins at me. “She’s so full of it,” she mutters as she carefully places a few pins into the waist of my dress, pulling it in a half inch or so. “She can’t sew to save her life.”
“I can hear you!”
“I know you can hear me!”
“Well, if you know I can hear you, then why are you over there talking shit?” Poppy questions and unscrews the cap on her bottle of water and takes a sip. “Don’t make me come over there and kick your ass.”
“Bring it, you old hag.” Aunt Lil sets down the container of pins and gestures with both hands. “I dare ya.”
Poppy moves like her ass is on fire, and I burst into laughter, but also, I quickly hop down off the step stool and hold out both of my hands between them.
“Ladies, ladies, there’s no time for violence,” I interject before these two hens start to rumble in my parents’ living room. “Kate and my mom and Em are going to be here any minute, and Lord knows, it would be downright cruel for the bride-to-be to walk in on you two in a fistfight.”
My aunts continue to glare at each other.
