AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I loved writing. It had become my passion. I first realized it with Alex, but after all the time away from him, I started realizing that this was something that I enjoyed doing on my own. The help and support I had received from the writers’ group was excellent, though. It's always nice when you meet other people that shared the same interests as you.
Speaking of support, Jay had proven to be a fantastic friend. When he wasn't busy with his book, he stopped by to check on me or keep me company. He brought me some books about pregnancy and a few about being a single parent. I think he realized that nothing would ever happen between us and accepted that.
I had been deep into my writing all day but could ignore my hunger no longer, so I decided to stop around noon for some food. I was satisfied with what I had written so far, so I couldn't resist reading it over to myself. Afterward, I put my work away with a smile. I pulled on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, not feeling like getting dressed up or anything; besides, I didn't have a reason to. Pulling my hair into a ponytail, I walked out of the bathroom.
I was looking for my wallet and room key when I heard a knock at the door. I went quickly to answer it, figuring it was probably Jay bringing more information or wanting to talk. Maybe I should invite him to eat with me? I would like to have the company.
I opened the door, expecting to see Jay, but was shocked when it was Alex who was standing there. We just stood there in silence, staring at each other.
He tried to give me a small smile as he said, “Hello, Hazel.” My former lover looked nervous, tired, and a little worried.
“Alex.”
That was all I could manage to say in my most polite voice. I tried to keep my emotions in check as I saw him there. They ranged from anger, to hate, to sadness, to confusion. I didn't know how or what to feel, let alone think.
Alex ran a hand through his hair. “Listen, Hazel, I know you probably don't want to even see me or talk to me, but could I please just have five minutes to explain?” he asked.
I sighed as I held the door. I was still hurt and angry because he ran off and left me, but at least he came back. “Fine, but only five minutes,” I replied, unable to keep the hurt out of my voice.
Alex stood there in the doorway. He was clearly nervous and trying to gather his thoughts before speaking. To be honest, I was already ravenous, and I didn't know how much longer it would be until my morning sickness came back. I didn't have time to stand around waiting.
Sensing my impatience, Alex cleared his throat and began to apologize. However, he offered no real explanation for why he left. I tried to be as patient as I could as I listened to him.
“There is no excuse in the world that I could use to justify running out on you like that,” he explained. I listened quietly. “It was wrong and very stupid of me to do that. I never meant to hurt you. I'm sorry. I talked to a friend, and he pointed out that I don’t deal with things when times get tough. I want to change that. I need to change that. Hazel, I need you in my life.”
I could see sadness and remorse in his eyes, but I had been down this road with him before. I held my opinions until the end because it appeared that he had more to say.
“I know you are angry with me and that you probably don't want anything more to do with me, but I am here now and determined to make things right with you. Just please forgive me,” he begged me softly.
I felt torn. I didn't know if I could trust Alex or believe him. He looked at me with wide eyes as he waited for my answer. I knew I couldn't stay mad forever. Eventually, I sighed in frustration before I answered him.
“Look, Alex. I forgive you, but I am going to need some time. You hurt me deeply, and it's going to take some time for me to get over that,” I explained. “I don’t trust you. Yes, you need to change, but I’m not convinced that you will.”
I watched his expression change from joy to sadness and understanding. “Is there anything I can do?” he asked softly.
I shook my head. “No.” I gave him a look of sympathy. “I just need my space and time to get past all of this. Please understand that?” I asked him.
