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Even though I had drunk more alcohol than I ever had, my thoughts were still whirring around in my head. My heart was beating so hard I was sure that it would beat right out of my chest. I was scared, and the fear was intensifying. I took another swig of alcohol, convincing myself that the more that I drank, the easier it will be for me to get rid of my fears.
Unfortunately, that assumption was wrong. The more I drank, the scarier the world became.
“Joshua?” I heard a voice in the darkness call. “Is that you?”
I tried to focus my eyes but couldn’t. However, I knew that voice anywhere. It was Nadia. She had somehow found me. We were in some strange small town in California, in a park I had never been to, but still, my angel found me.
Overjoyed, I waved my bottle at the hazy form I assumed was my best friend.
“Do you know how worried I have been?” she yelled, making me cringe. “I have a good mind to leave you here and figure out my own way to the base. You are such an asshole!”
She walked over to the bench where I sat and stood in front of me. I sat up until our noses almost touched, feeling so adventurous and excited seeing her. Putting my arms around her neck, I pulled myself up, enjoying the warmth of her body against mine. Here I was okay. She made me okay.
I leaned down to kiss her. Nadia didn’t fight me but let me kiss her.
“We should run away together,” I mumbled, taking her hands in mine. “We could start all over and just have a life, you and me, where nobody and nothing could bother us. What do you say?”
She grunted with surprise and then laughed. “I’m going to assume that that is just the alcohol talking,” she said, grabbing my arm. “We need to get inside.”
I pulled my arm away from her, refusing to go inside. I wasn’t ready to go back to reality. Here in this park, we were free. She grabbed my arm again, pulling me hard towards the room. I was too unsteady on my feet to really fight her, so I just followed her back to the motel.
The stairs were a blur, but soon I was laying on something soft, and the stars were replaced by a slow-moving ceiling fan. My angel, Nadia, walked around me, first looking into my eyes, then putting a cold washrag on my brow. I started to feel extremely tired. I guessed that the alcohol was beginning to take its toll.
“What’s gotten into you tonight, punk?” asked Nadia, trying to help me out of my boots. “I thought that something had happened to you.”
“No, I’m okay,” I said, shaking my head then regretting it. “I just needed to get out to clear my head. I haven’t exactly been honest with you about things.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, stopping dead in her tracks and staring at me.
Her face was so pretty. The way that her mouth pinched when she was concerned, the deep darkness of her brown eyes, it was all stunning. I wanted her to look at me every day for the rest of my life, but I was going to ruin that. One way or another, Nadia would be taken from me.
Reaching over, I ran my hand under her chin, feeling her smooth skin. “I mean, I haven’t wanted to tell you the real reason why I keep my distance from you,” I said, my eyes starting to close from sheer exhaustion. “I am scared of losing you, Nadia. I can deal with exes. They come and go. But none of them are my friends, especially not my best friend like you are. I can talk to you about anything. We have such a good time together. I love you truly and unconditionally.”
Then, all I remembered was the room going dark and sleep overtaking me.Chapter Seven - NadiaI barely slept. Josh’s words kept spinning around in my head. He said that he loved me unconditionally. Those were heavy words, a heavy promise.
I looked over at him, sound asleep. He was such a complicated man, but also, he was my closest friend. I felt like I knew his soul. Underneath the constant dating and the rough exterior, Joshua was a good man. He was a sweet man. I knew he would always be there for me.
Or did I…
One of my hands slid down to my belly. There was no bump there yet, but I swear I could feel the baby growing inside. What would this little one be like? Would they be like their father? Would Josh even get to know them, or would he run?
I sighed, trying to put those thoughts out of my mind. Announcing a pregnancy was not the thing to do to someone hungover.
