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I was definitely trying to tell myself that I wasn’t going to fold. What was going to happen after I confronted Reagan all depended on her answers to my inquiries, but deep down, I knew it didn’t. When I was a stupid teenager, I would have done anything for her. Literally anything. I hadn’t spoken about her with anyone since because I was kind of embarrassed with how obsessed with her I was. Mainly because, in the end, she wasn’t as into me given that she left without a goodbye.
Even with all of this in my head and my almost ten years of new knowledge and wisdom, I would still do anything for her. All Reagan needed to do was ask. Which is why I was so baffled when she disappeared from my life the way she did. If she had needed help or was in some kind of tight spot, I would have gotten her out of it.
Standing there, staring at her was getting me nowhere. I needed to go up to Reagan and speak actual words. I couldn’t believe I was getting nervous. Women didn’t make me nervous. That was something that never happened to me. But Reagan had always been a wild card in my life. I was never able to plan for her. Every day was a surprise.
What would I even say to her? A simple hi wouldn’t suffice. Coming out of the gate with accusations concerning why she abandoned me wasn’t going to get us anywhere good either. I needed to approach the situation with tact. I had spent years building this cold exterior. All I needed to do was keep it up with Reagan.
What I was feeling was just residual emotions from years ago. I never gave myself the chance to process them. This was just my brain seeking closure. Maybe if I got her out of my system, I could be the one to walk away. This time, I’d have the upper hand. All that talk about never letting her go, that was teenage Aiden Harris. He was naïve. Now, I knew better than to go all head over heels, goo-goo, gaga over a woman. Especially one who left me like that.
I was going to approach her and not let a single thing slide about my feelings. And then the plan was to bury them even deeper so Reagan White would never cross my mind again.Chapter Two - ReaganI wasn’t sure if coming to this new club called Club Taboo was the greatest idea. It was one of my rare nights out. My mother was watching my son, Bobby, and I didn’t have any obligations for the next day. So many circumstances came together so I could have a fun night all to myself. Something that came along barely even once a year. I could get as crazy as I wanted to and recover tomorrow.
This particular night off was just in time for the opening of this BDSM club. A few had popped up in Aspen before, but this one was the most sophisticated. Plus, I had heard horror stories from those other clubs. The security wasn’t always the tightest, and some not so above the board things had gone on there. Which is why I never found myself inside any of them. Sure, I liked the kinkier side of things, but only if I felt safe with my partner. I had heard good things about this place, though. The next thing to do was see if it held up to the hype.
I felt self-conscious the second I walked in the club. I hadn’t worn a dress this short and revealing since I turned twenty, that was seven years ago. In fact, I had never gone through a club phase. Going from a serious relationship in high school to being a single mom didn’t leave a lot of room for a party phase. I wasn’t sad or anything. I’d rather have my son than stories from my youth anyway. And it wasn’t like there wasn’t any time for me to still have fun.
I was out at a kinky club in a dress that wasn’t even mine. I had to borrow something from my best friend because my closet was severely lacking. It was all scrubs from my work as a nurse and sweatpants with the stray pair of jeans. Marnie thought it was a travesty that there was nothing sexy.
My hands kept migrating to the bottom of the little black dress, so I could pull the fabric down, but all that did was expose more cleavage. It was a game that I could only lose. I took a deep breath and told myself to calm down. It really wasn’t a big deal. I was at the club for a fun night out. The whole point was to let loose and to be someone else for the night. Someone without too many responsibilities, who could have a night out like this without worrying.
