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Marley was asleep by the third repeat of “You Are My Sunshine.” I laid her in the crib and had Tori’s contact information pulled up on my phone before I’d stepped out into the hallway. Halfway down the stairs, the call connected.
“Hey, Jenna.”
“Hey.” Surprise lightened my voice. “I figured I’d just leave you a message. You’re not at work?”
“No. I’m off today. I’m headed to Wax to load up on graphic tees. I need some more sleep shirts.”
Wax was the surf shop my brother and Jamie, Tori’s fiancé, owned together.
“Oh, cool. I need to get over there. Oliver has been bugging me for clothes.”
I stepped into the kitchen and moved down the counter, stopping where the baby monitor was plugged in. I slid my thumb over the volume dial until it was the loudest it could go.
“So, what’s up?” Tori asked. “How’s babysitting going?”
“Good! Really good. Marley is so sweet.”
“It’s really nice of you to help Nate out like this.”
“It’s nothing. I enjoy being here.” I wasn’t seeing this as a job. I wanted to spend time with Marley. “Speaking of being here, um, I had a question I’m not sure you know the answer to, but I figured you’d be a good person to ask before I took this any further.”
“Shoot.”
“It’s about Nathan…I, uh…” I paused when Tori made a pleased sound through the phone. “What’s that for? What are you doing?”
“Nothing,” she answered, an obvious smile in her voice. “What is it you’d like to ask about Nathan?”
“Why are you saying his name like that?”
“Because you’re saying his name like that.” She giggled. “I’ve never heard anyone call him Nathan. I call him Nate. Syd calls him Nate. Shay—”
“Well, he introduced himself to me as Nathan, so…I don’t know, I thought that’s what he wanted me to call him.” Why was this a big deal? This wasn’t a big deal.
“Okay.” Tori was smiling so big right now, I could practically hear it. “He’s hot, isn’t he? I always thought he was hot.”
“Uh, yeah…he’s hot. Definitely.”
“What all do you think is hot about him?”
“I don’t know. Everything. His face…Have you seen his jawline? I’m pretty sure that thing could literally cut me in half.”
Tori burst out laughing.
Like a fog lifting, I became hyperaware of the strange direction this conversation had taken. What are we doing?
“Can I ask you my question now? I actually did call for a reason.”
“Yes, sorry. Go ahead.”
“Does Nathan hate his wife?” The question left my mouth so quickly, it shocked me to hear it. My heart began to race. “He doesn’t have any pictures of her anywhere in his house,” I elaborated when Tori remained silent. “None.”
Tori breathed softly in my ear. “I don’t know the answer to that question, Jenna. I don’t think he does, but I’ve never asked him about Sadie. I don’t really want to, you know? I only ever see Nate at work, and that’s not really something I’d want to bring up there.”
“Of course,” I replied, shifting on my feet. My back pressed against the edge of the marble counter. “This isn’t any of my business. I don’t know why I’m even curious.”
“You’re curious for Marley. I get that.”
I nodded as if she could see me. “I know Nathan wants to have a relationship with her, and I’m trying to help him with that. I just don’t know if he wants his wife included. I feel like I should know.”
“You should.”
“I’m not sure I can talk to him about this. I feel like maybe I’m overstepping.”
“The worst he could do is get angry at you for asking…”
I thought for a moment. “I don’t know.”
“I think you should ask.”
“You just said you wouldn’t talk to him about his wife.”
“Yeah, when I’m at work. I’m not taking care of his kid every day like you are.”
She had a point.
“Jenna, you’re asking for Marley. I think Nate will understand that. You wouldn’t be wrong for doing it.”
I bit my lip and looked out into the family room, where Oliver and Olivia sat close on the couch, quietly playing their iPads.
My thoughts drifted to Derek—their father—and I tried harder than I ever have before. I tried hating him for a solid second when he deserved to feel that for the rest of his life, and I couldn’t do it.
My decision was incredibly easy to make.
I still had reservations and God, was I nervous—I didn’t want to upset Nathan in any way—but a bigger part of me needed to know how he felt, because I didn’t think he could ever have the relationship he wanted to have with Marley if he hated his wife for what she did. I was speculating postpartum depression. I didn’t know the specifics about Sadie’s death. Maybe I was way off, but even if I was…
“Okay,” I told Tori. “I’ll ask him.”
