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“Give me all of it,” I said. Our eyes locked. “For me to understand this, I’m going to need to hear all of it…if you don’t mind.”
I added that last bit on a rush when it dawned on me how personal this conversation was about to become and how invading this might feel to Jenna. I was practically ordering her to share this with me. I sounded desperate to hear it.
Truth be told, what I was feeling wasn’t far off. This information felt strangely vital.
Jenna nodded lightly. “We, uh, met in college. Freshman year…he was in my psych class. I had a huge crush on him.” She rolled her eyes at herself.
“Is that embarrassing to admit?”
“Well, the feelings weren’t exactly mutual.”
“Was this an online course?”
“No. We met three times a week.” Two lines formed between her brows. “Why?”
Because that would be the only explanation I’d understand. This jerk-off would have to be blind not to feel something for you.
“Nothing.” I shifted Marley so her head lay on my shoulder. Her body was deadweight. “Go on.”
Jenna gazed out at the ocean again. “There was this party. We hooked up…Three weeks later I found out I was pregnant.”
I blinked. “Jesus. You were—”
“Eighteen,” she answered for me. “Nineteen when I delivered. The pregnancy was shocking enough. We’d used a condom. I mean, I know there’s still risks, but it wasn’t like we were reckless. When I found out I was having twins, I almost hit the floor.”
“I can imagine.”
“I was so excited though.” She looked over at me and smiled. Her long hair blew behind her shoulder. “Straightaway just so incredibly excited. I didn’t regret anything. I wasn’t even nervous. I couldn’t wait to be a mom.” Her smile faded to something softer, a little dejected. “I never saw that night with Derek as just a hookup. I wanted something more. I’d hoped for more. He didn’t. I knew that. I never thought having kids with him would change his mind about me. I never once thought that. I only cared about them.” She tipped her head at the slider. “I wanted Derek in their lives for them, not for me. I could see us making it work…co-parenting. Splitting custody. I thought he’d be excited about them. He wasn’t. He asked me to get an abortion.”
My shoulders drew back. Jenna noticed my reaction and nodded as if she knew I needed her to confirm what I’d just heard, because I was certain I’d misunderstood.
“I told him I wouldn’t do that. I wanted them, with or without his involvement.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “My parents were supportive of my decision, which was a huge relief. My brother was too. Though he wanted to kill Derek. I had to beg him not to fly out to Denver and hunt him down. I’m pretty positive he made a few phone calls. Derek would tense up if I’d mention Brian for whatever reason.”
“I like your brother.”
A soft laugh pushed past her lips. Her gaze lowered to the rail. “It’s strange…I knew how Derek felt. I never doubted his decision, not even the day I went into labor. I didn’t call him. I didn’t tell him I was having them that day, but the moment I saw Oliver and Olivia, the second I looked at them…I knew if he saw them too, he’d change his mind. I was sure. I was in love with them after a glance. He just needed to see them…so, I texted him a picture. I told him what room I was in…that they were healthy. I told him their names.”
“He didn’t show up, did he?”
Jenna shook her head. “He never even wrote me back.”
I cursed under my breath. Then I flexed my jaw. It was beginning to ache. “Okay. Then what?”
I suddenly wanted Jenna to rush through the rest of the details and possibly spare me the worst. I was two seconds away from getting in touch with her brother and getting this motherfucker’s number for myself. I had my own calls to make. He thought he was tense before? I’d give a new definition to the word.
Jenna turned sideways to face me. “Then nothing for a while.” She tucked more hair behind her ear. The breeze off the water was cool and swirled around us. “I dropped out of college and eventually moved back in with my parents. I left Derek alone. I still thought he’d reach out…He didn’t. I went almost a year before I gave in to my parents’ demands and considered hitting him up for child support. I didn’t want him getting served. If he was bitter about it, we’d never get along again. I knew that. I thought we could talk. I still had hope—if Derek saw them in person, he’d change his mind. Again, I was sure. I just loved them so much. How could he not, you know? I sent him an invitation to their first birthday party, thinking we could go from there.”
