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But she slowed as she carried the last two boxes back to the stall. He was in full flight, smiling and talking to the group of customers who were basically breathing in the biscuits and exclaiming about their delicacy. But they all had eyes on Tomas. It wasn’t just his looks, it was that smile and that charming way he looked and talked to them, as if they held his undivided attention. And she knew holding his attention felt like the best thing in the world.
Clearly she wasn’t alone in having that reaction to him. He had that rare ability to draw people near—old, young, female and male—they were all there now. He’d made her small stall the most popular at the market. It was that undeniable, undefinable X-factor.
‘Zara is the baker.’ He called her over as he spotted her hanging that short distance away. ‘She’s the one who made them.’
She had to walk forward then and unload the last supplies.
‘I should go back to the car,’ he said when a brief quiet moment finally happened.
‘No, you have to stay. You’re my customer magnet.’
‘Your what?’
‘You heard me.’ She giggled, then sobered when she saw his look. ‘It’s not that any of these people have any idea who you are,’ she assured him saucily, her success loosening her tongue and her inhibitions. ‘And it’s not that you’re super-rich and successful because they don’t know that. It’s because you’re big and tall and handsome and you have this sexy accent and a gorgeous smile and you look at people like...’ She shrugged, unable to express it. ‘You’re a charmer.’
For a half-second he just stared at her. But then he laughed and, heaven help her, became more attractive than ever.
She shook her head in mock distress. ‘The thing is, I’m not really joking. It’s all truth.’
Tomas picked up the last piece of cake and munched on it to save himself answering her. But he didn’t leave. He couldn’t. Not when she was so radiant and smiling at him. Not when he was having this much fun.
They didn’t make it to the end of the market—they’d sold out too quickly. But they took the time to walk around and check out the other stalls. He loved watching her touch the soft wool scarves on display, and seeing her sample some of the rich cheese. He gave in to her demands and tasted some too, and had to concede that it was divine. She was the magnet—her vitality intoxicating.
He was almost sorry when it was time to leave. She helped him pack everything back into the car and jumped up into the passenger seat. Once he’d started along the narrow road back to his home she turned to him, her joy obvious and overflowing. ‘That was just amazing.’
Tomas grinned as he listened to her non-stop recap of the morning’s trading. She was aglow with her success.
‘They loved the primrose snaps, did you notice that? They just disappeared so quickly. And you...’ She turned that brilliant smile on him once more. He could almost feel the warmth hitting him. ‘They just loved you.’
‘No, they didn’t.’
‘Oh, yes, they did.’ She nodded, a small frown pulling her brows. ‘Especially that woman with the reddish hair. She kept coming over to sample stuff just so she could smile and talk to you some more. Like all the time.’
He couldn’t help a small chuckle at that small truth. He wasn’t sure if she’d have noticed that, given she’d been so busy herself. But despite the obvious play that woman had made for him, he’d enjoyed the market more than he’d ever imagined he would. It hadn’t mattered who he was or what he’d forgotten. He’d just stood alongside Zara, laughing and talking to people about nothing in particular, feeling more free than he had in aeons.
‘It was just so cool,’ Zara said again. ‘Thank you so much.’
He smiled, pleased she was happy and enjoying her endless chatter as he navigated his way home.
‘It’s such a beautiful house,’ she enthused as he drove down the snow-lined driveway and the manor came into view. ‘Do you know what you should do? Open it up to weddings—and other functions. The kitchen is big enough to be upgraded to a full commercial size. I could serve cream teas. With that garden and the greenhouse, it’s just such a gorgeous destination and so suits my kind of traditional baking with a twist. Don’t you think?’
She was in raptures, and, while he still smiled at her enthusiasm, his core was growing colder by the second.
She had good business instincts and rationally he could see these were all good ideas that could work well. But the thought of her remaining here? Working here as chatelaine of his estate?
He tightened his grip on the steering wheel as all pleasure was decimated. His gut reaction to her plan wasn’t favourable—but for all the wrong reasons. He didn’t want her baking all hours in that kitchen for everyone else. If she was baking in that kitchen, he wanted it to be for him and him alone, not the rest of the world. He didn’t want to share either his house—or her—with anyone else. When she’d asked him to stay with her? He’d been unable to resist.
But the idea of her staying here with him long term?
It was impossible.
His heart raced as bitterness surged. He was no better than that fabled dog in the manger. He couldn’t have her but didn’t want anyone else to have her either. The realisation appalled him. He couldn’t be jealous. He couldn’t want more than these few days he’d already had with her. He couldn’t have that. He’d never have that. He knew what was best—and for him, it was best to be alone. Utterly independent.
This morning had been a mistake. He’d known after their talk yesterday that it was time to pull away from her, but he’d failed. He had to do it properly now. Get back to work and distance himself from the warmth of her.
Having anything else with her—or any other kind of life—was an unsustainable fantasy. He might have got away with a couple of hours in public one morning without anyone figuring him out, but he couldn’t risk more than that.
‘I need to catch up on my work,’ he said briskly as he parked the car. He walked straight to the door, unable to even look at her in his haste to get away. ‘Do not bother with dinner for me tonight. I’ll have something at my desk later.’
* * *
Zara bit her lip, fighting her blush. But he walked away without a second glance so what did it matter that she was probably as red and bruised as a crushed tomato?
He’d dismissed her. It was as if the sun had gone behind a monstrous storm cloud, leaving the once warm world cold and dark.
But she’d been the one to summon the cloud. She’d been so stupid, totally overstepping the mark blurting all that fantasy. What had she been thinking? Of course he wouldn’t want all that. He didn’t want her—not for anything more than a short-lived fling.
It had been obvious enough yesterday that he was uncomfortable with how much he’d told her. He’d clammed up and in a way she’d been glad because she hadn’t wanted him to keep asking her questions. She hadn’t wanted to admit the truth to him yet.
But the real truth was that she didn’t belong here and she never would.
His coldness had shattered the happiness she’d felt from the morning at the market. He was so very controlled, locking his emotions tightly back behind that fierce guard. And wasn’t that fair enough? Didn’t he have enough on his plate already without her being emotionally needy and placing demands on him that he had no desire to meet?
She needed to grow up. To protect herself the same way he did. To lock her heart away in that layer of protection.
So she wouldn’t let him see her insecurity now. She could get through this last day without awkwardness. Sh
e’d stay in control and keep it light. And then maybe, when the truth did come out, when Jasper explained everything, maybe everything could stay okay. Maybe they could even become friends once it was all revealed.
Her heart squeezed, knowing the futility of that hope.
But she had to get through this. She’d lift her chin and let him know he wasn’t going to hurt her—because she understood that was a big part of his motivation for pulling away. He’d never wanted to hurt her. She didn’t want to hurt him either. So she could handle this and respect the boundaries he needed.
‘I know you only wanted a small snack, but I’ve made it for you anyway.’ She placed the small tray on the edge of his desk in the early evening, almost six hours since she’d seen him last.
‘Thank you.’ His smile was small and set and he looked straight back to the papers in front of him.
Despite her best efforts, she was still too soft. Disappointment slithered down her spine as she walked away from him. She’d made a mistake in taking her talk too far, in encroaching on him. But she had to make this end easier for them both. She had to be like him. She had to be brave.
CHAPTER TEN
‘You’re a bad influence.’
TOMAS PUSHED AWAY the food she’d brought. He didn’t want to be tempted by her at all—not her food, not her body, certainly not her smile.
He’d go for a workout and burn off the excess energy making his blood race. He’d missed his usual session this morning because he’d taken her to the market instead. It had been a mistake. Discipline and routine were too important to toss aside so recklessly. He always worked out in the morning because mornings were the worst for him. At night he could go to bed with that little hope that he’d wake up in the morning and his memories would be restored and the nightmare would be over.
It never was.
Damn it. He pushed back his chair. He needed to go burn out the self-pity.
Thing was, that usual agony hadn’t lasted this morning. Once he’d risen he’d been too busy anticipating her reaction to his farmers’ market plan. And then she’d made him stay with her. And it had been fun.
