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“Oh right.” Hmm, I guess we aren’t going to see one another again. I won’t be exploring everything about her body after all which is a shame. More than a shame, I’m really gutted. “Yes, maybe you are right.”
“So, I will get dressed quickly and… be out of here.” She stares at me now, wanting me gone. I do the only thing that I can and respect her by walking away. I don’t even bother to take my clothes as I go inside.
“Fuck.” I run my fingers through my hair now noticing that I’m shaking. “Fucking hell.”
Do I like Gemma? Do I want to spend more time with her? No, surely not. I might like her body, I might adore the idea of being inside of her, but I have to remember that I don’t like her personality at all. We don’t get along and not just because we are business rivals but because she is cold and unlikable. She is the ice queen. Even if I have seen a slightly different side to her the last couple of days it doesn’t mean that I like her now…
No, she’s right. I need to let her go. We need to stay apart from one another because it’s toxic and crazy. We need to forget about one another. Just because I broke my one rule once it doesn’t matter, I don’t have to do it again. Not until I meet the woman who I actually want to be with. I won’t ever go back for more unless I think that she might be the one that I am going to marry.
Now we just have the awkward goodbye to get through. After that we will go our separate ways and continue to pretend that one another doesn’t exist. Our paths don’t very often cross anyway…
Her hand bag glares at me from the dining table and a cheeky idea crosses my mind. I always have business cards with me and ones with my personal cell phone number on as well. Before I can talk myself out of it, I slip one in to her bag, just in case she changes her mind and she does want to see me again. Maybe.Chapter 10 – GemmaThree Weeks Later…I stare at Connor across the candle lit table, wondering when he is going to start showing me this amazing personality that Eve promised me that he has. She only talked me in to this set up date by convincing me that he is ambitious, fiery, and very funny. Someone who will captivate me enough to make me want to give up my workaholic life style… but she is wrong. Very wrong. Connor is nice enough, in a bland kind of way. I have nothing against him, but he doesn’t ignite that fire within me. He doesn’t make me feel that thing.
I am an idiot; I think to myself sadly as I drag my eyes off of Connor. He has been telling the same story for a long time now and I don’t think he’s too worried that I’m not really listening. A fool.
I don’t even care much about working on a work life balance, even if Eve is still going on about it all the time. The only thing that draws me towards the idea of dating at all is the chemistry that I once shared with Daniel. Sexual connection of course, nothing more, but he unleashed a dragon of desire inside of me and I want it sated once more. But by someone else, not him. Never again. That’s why I told him that we can’t see one another again because it isn’t wise for us to keep n hooking up and hating one another.
Of course, he couldn’t respect that as I found out when I discovered his business card in my hand bag a few days later, and I suppose I am the weirdo for still having it and not tossing it out, but there we go.
I dart my eyes up to see Connor once more, to see if there is anything of a similar spark there between us but I honestly feel empty as I look at him. there isn’t anything there. I just feel nothing. I’m sure that one day, Connor will make a woman feel very happy. He can be loving and sweet and there is a humor there, but because of Daniel I have seen something different. I know what it feels like to be out of control sexually, to have so much passion that it feels like I might die if I don’t have him instantly, and I can’t help but need that in my life now.
Fucking Daniel, I think bitterly with a little shake of my head. Why has he ruined me?
“Would you like another glass of wine?” Connor asks me, waiting for my answer before he pours me the drink. Not like Daniel. He just wanted to get the pair of us drunk to get us through the night.
