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“Oh, I don’t want to take up any of your time. I can call you later when it’s more appropriate…”
“Oh God, what’s wrong, Tim? You sound really sad. Hold on. Let me get somewhere quieter.”
I suck in a couple of breaths, trying to calm myself down while I wait for Lance to be someone where he can hear me properly. My heart strings tug, I can feel myself being pulled back in to the room with Kayla, but I need to stay here for a couple more moments because I need someone to speak to. Some advice.
“Right, Tim, what’s going on?” Lance asks me. “What’s happened? Is everything okay?”
“I don’t know really.” I chew on my thumb nail. “I’m in a bit of a messy situation. I’ve got myself all tangled up and I don’t know how to get out of it. I need some advice about what to do next, Lance. Help me.”
“Okay, so this is obviously about a woman,” he replies, much wiser than he should be. “So, who is it? You have finally met someone who makes you want to settle down, like I said you would, am I right?”
“Pretty much.” I sigh sadly. “But I don’t know why I’m feeling this way because I know it can’t work.”
“Why can’t it work? Who says it can’t work? If you are in love, then anything can work…”
I let out a little mirthless laugh. “You have been staring in too many romantic movies, Lance. You’re getting caught up in the fantasy and you now believe that love conquers all. Which it can’t because we are too different. She is highly strung and under a lot of pressure from her mother to be a lawyer, which is a plan that I’m definitely not going to fit in to, am I? Every time I think about it, I see how she will end up resenting me.”
“So, you are different.” I roll my eyes at how causal my brother sounds about the whole thing. “So what? And you said that her mother is putting pressure on her… is it actually what she wants? Maybe she is just waiting for a hero to come and save her from the life that’s being forced up on her. She’s a damsel in distress.”
This time the laugh is real because that’s how I found her. I stumbled across a beautiful damsel in distress on the side of the road with her broken down car. I didn’t know then that this would happen.
“Yep, like I suspected… too many movies. Your brain has been scrambled, Lance. Life doesn’t work like that. I don’t see her giving everything up for me. She has worked too hard for it all.”
“But if she isn’t happy, then why would she want it? She might have worked hard for it, but she might not want it. Have you even tried asking her, Tim? Have you spoken to her about this?”
“Sort of,” I confess. “We have talked about how different we are and how it’s…”
“So, you haven’t talked at all then? You haven’t told her that you have feelings for her?” I’m quiet. My silence speaks volumes. “Right, well then that’s what I would suggest you do. Then, if it doesn’t work out, at least you gave it your all. I’m sure you will have less regrets if you just talk to her. You’ll have all the information.”
My pulse races faster. “But that’s scary. Getting rejected terrifies the living hell out of me.”
“Yeah, I bet the idea of her not rejecting you scares you as well, because you don’t know what your life will look like with someone else in it.” Hmm, yeah, he’s right about that. “But the other option is being lonely and wondering if you should have just said something. If she’s the one, then you will be thinking about her forever.”
Oh God, I don’t want that. Definitely not. Now I’m even more twisted up in knots. “So, I should just tell her.”
“Exactly. She must be damn special to have caught your eye, so just tell her. You never know what’s going to happen. You have to give it go though, Tim. Promise me, will you?”
“Yes.” I’m shit scared, but I have made a promise now. “Yes, I promise. I will do it.”
Once me and Lance say our goodbyes, I wait outside the motel room for a couple more moments, just doing what I can to get myself in order. I need at least my breathing to sound like I’m not freaking out.
“Tim?” As I finally get the courage to get back in to the room, I find Kayla awake and staring at me with wide eyed surprise. For one horrifying moment, I assumed that she heard my conversation. “Where have you been?”
Ah, of course. She was shocked to wake up with me gone. I would have felt the same if the situation was reversed. But instead of answering her direct question, I perch on the edge of her bed and work myself up.
