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This argument has been going on for hours, it has gotten personal enough to have me in tears, so it’s safe to say that my brain is all scrambled up in knots. But the one thing my mother has gotten through to me is that someone with my opportunities would be in the wrong to throw it all away to go on a road trip with someone who I don’t even know. Much as it sounds good to run off in to the sun set, it’s stupid and messy. It’s a childish fantasy that people shouldn’t do. There has to be something not quite right with Tim which is why he lives like that. Maybe he’s childish and he hasn’t grown up yet. If he was meant to be in my life, then it was only for a moment. Just for a brief little fling. That isn’t ideal, not what I thought would happen, but it’s okay.
“I will go to the interview tomorrow, Mom,” I declare with a sadness in my tone. “I’m sorry, I just freaked out, I think. I know that I owe you for everything that you have done for me and I will make you proud.”
“We will wake up early and go through your interview questions in the morning. Then I will take you there. With no distractions I just know that you will do amazing this time around. You can do anything.”
I can’t help myself; my mother’s praise is something that I crave, it’s something that I have wanted my whole life. It sends a burst of warmth in my body that makes me feel like her plan is the adult on, it’s the right one. I did just have a blip, probably because I messed everything up so badly, but I can make it right. I can get back on the right path, with my mother beside me I can do anything. That’s what she has been working towards with me. That’s why I have to succeed, that’s why I have to prove to her that I can do it.
“Thank you, Mom,” I whisper back. “I appreciate everything. I love you.”
“I love you too.” She kisses my forehead. “And thank you too, Kayla. You won’t regret this.”Chapter 15 – TimMy cell phone has been ringing on and off for the last hour, but I haven’t answered it because I’ve been driving, but now I know that I need to. Just in case there is some kind of emergency that I need to be aware of. I find a safe spot on the side of the road and turn my car engine off before I hit that answer button.
“Lance?” He usually only calls me loads when he’s freaking out but since we only spoke yesterday, I can’t imagine him having any reason to panic right now. Unless it’s him in a mess… “What’s going on?”
“You’re asking me that?” he half yells. “You are the one in the middle of a life crisis. I want to know what happened. Did you tell your mystery woman how you felt? How did she take it?”
I toss my head back and laugh. If I had known that this was going to be the conversation, then I would have pulled up earlier because I’m so keen to talk about all of this. “I’m sorry. I should have called you right away, shouldn’t I? I did everything that you said, and it went really well. It turns out that she didn’t want to give up spending time with me either, so she is going to come traveling with me for a while. Isn’t that amazing?”
“Wow, that’s awesome,” he laughs, glad on my behalf. “That’s so good, I’m so happy for you. This is what you wanted, isn’t it? To find someone to adventure with. You should be so glad.”
“Oh, you have no idea how happy I am, Lance. Thank you so much for talking me in to communicating better because it worked out so well for me. I never knew that it could be like this…”
“You are really happy, aren’t you?” Lance sounds over the moon on my behalf. “This is all I wanted for you. I’m so glad that things are working out for you. I just hope it all ends well.”
“Me too.” I nod along with Lance as if he can see me. “I’m not going to fuck it up, that’s for sure. It’s taken me a lot to get to this place, I don’t want to mess up the first person I have really liked.”
For the first time in a really long time, panic bolts it’s way through me. I don’t usually worry about anything. It seems like while I have rubbed off on Kayla a bit, she has done the same to me. Not that I can picture myself worrying about anything other than Kayla though, she’s the only person who I can imagine caring about enough to get myself all twisted up like this about. I can only hope that’s a good sign.
