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God, she does have a persuasive way about her, doesn’t she? But I know that my need to see Kayla over shadows any logic that she can throw my way, so I’m not going anywhere. I stare at her defiantly with my arms folded across my chest and stare her down, silently letting her know that she won’t win. She can’t win.
“I can’t believe this.” She clicks her tongue angrily at me. “I am going to have to call the police.”
“And tell them what? That I’m sitting here minding my own business and that you have caused a scene?”
“Minding your own business?” she sneers. “You are stalking That’s a criminal offence. You know that?”
I roll my eyes and tut right back at her. “Don’t be so silly. I’m just here. If you just leave me alone, let me see Kayla for a couple of moments, then I will be out of our life forever more. You never have to see me again.”
This is a woman who isn’t used to losing. She’s a successful lawyer, isn’t she? She argues for a living and her cash flow depends on her winning the rows which means she has all the equipment needed to take me down. But I have a lot of feelings for Kayla, so many feelings that I can with stand anything. She can scream and yell at me, she can take me down with her words as much as she wants, but I will stand here and take it.
“What’s happening here?” All of a sudden, we’re interrupted by Kayla bounding over to us. She has a good energy about her, she seems pleased which makes me happy for her, but sad for myself at the same time. “What’s going on? Please tell me that we aren’t here arguing again. There isn’t any need.”
Kayla’s mother snaps right back in to manager mode. “How was the interview? Did you get the job?”
“I was offered the job.” She nods slowly. “I think. But I turned it down. I don’t want to do it.”
Oh God, there is even more rage than before, but it isn’t aimed at me any longer. I don’t know if I should be relieved that I don’t have that glare at me or if I should be even more terrified than before.
“What on earth do you mean?” Her hands fly on to her hips. “You turned it down? You have got to be joking me. I did not go through all of that to have you fucking it up again. You have to take this job because you won’t get another opportunity. Did I not make it clear to you that this is your last chance?”
“You did.” I don’t know what the hell is going on here, but I find myself admiring Kayla’s strength here. She seems to be standing up for herself which I don’t think has happened before. “And I understand that. But it doesn’t matter because I don’t want another opportunity. It isn’t just that law firm I don’t want to work for, it’s any of them. It isn’t for me, Mom, especially when they want me to be a mini you. I can’t be that, Mom.”
“And what’s wrong with being like me?” Her mother looks incensed. “That’s what I have trained you for your whole life and now you are saying that you don’t want to be a part of it? I couldn’t be more confused.”
“That shouldn’t be a shock to you, Mom. I have tried to express it in the past…”
“Not with me, I don’t believe it.” She shakes her head hard. “I don’t believe that you are springing this on me now. I’m shocked. Shocked to the core. I don’t know what to say about this at all.”
There is a weird zinging electricity in the air that I’m sure could erupt like a bomb at any given moment. It wouldn’t take much of a spark for us all to be in flames. I could run away from this and I’m sure I should, but I’m frozen to the spot and I can’t go anywhere. I’m in the middle of the danger zone and I remain like a fool.
“I just don’t want to be you, Mom, that’s all. Not to say that I don’t appreciate everything, but I feel like you have selected a very direct path for me without ever wondering what I might want from life.”
“And what do you want, Kayla? What’s so important that you have to throw everything away?”
“I don’t know.” She shrugs her shoulders and smiles. “I don’t know because I have always followed your path. I haven’t ever tried to find another way. Not until I spent some time with Tim.” Kayla smiles gratefully at me but her mother shoots me daggers. “He made me feel freer and more like myself. I want more of that.”
