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I roll my eyes and laugh loudly. “You know I don’t mind being compared to my mom, right? She kicks ass and sure, she doesn’t like surprises either. But I don’t think I am totally like her…”
I fall in to a thoughtful silence, considering my family situation. I get on so well with Mom now. I think us understanding one another, no longer living together, and Winter has brought our relationship a lot closer. We get on so well now, every time we talk it’s amazing, and when we visit it’s always good too, she even loves Tim which was a pleasant surprise to all of us… but every so often it feels like something is missing.
I never knew my father of course, and I have the impression that he ran out on me and didn’t care one bit as I was growing up but having a child of my own has made me curious about him. I never thought that I would be interested in him, but as the days go passed, I just feel like it would be good to get to know him. even if it doesn’t all work out well, I would be able to handle not being what I want, I would just like to have the answers for myself. But no one knows where he is, so I don’t stand a chance. I guess I will always have to just imagine him.
“We aren’t too far away actually,” Tim declares, dragging me from my thoughts. “Which might be good timing when it comes to Winter, I mean. I’m sure that she will want to get out of the car when she wakes up.”
I stretch my arms high and move my body a bit, so I don’t get stiff. “Yeah, I could use a break as well. Much as I love being in this car going somewhere new, I’m looking forward to stretching my legs. Where are we going, by the way? Since we’re nearly there, you can tell me, right?”
He chuckles but doesn’t give anything away. Although when I look at him, I’m shocked to see him a little bit pale. Is he worried about something? Tim doesn’t ever worry about anything so what the hell is going on?
“Are you okay, Tim?” I ask him cautiously. “You look like you might throw up in a moment.”
“Er no.” He shakes his head a little too hard. “I’m okay. Just looking forward to stopping.”
But his hands are gripped a little too hard on to the steering wheel, his knuckles are a bit too white, there is definitely something going on and I need to find out what it is before I panic. But I’m going to have to wait until he stops the car because Winter is stirring again and I’m sure she’s going to wake up soon…
Eventually, Tim pulls up the car and he turns to face me. There is definitely worry in his face now which scares the living shit out of me. If he was a worrier, then I wouldn’t think anything of it, but he isn’t.
“I need to get Winter out of the car,” I say with a shaky voice. “She’s woken up now. I need to…”
Because I’m so panicked, I slide out of the car and I grab my daughter rapidly, holding her to my chest as my heart pounds. Why do I have a feeling that this is going to be really bad with Tim?
“Kayla, it’s time to tell you where we are…” He twists his hands around nervously. “I have been doing some research because there is something that I think you need in your life before you can fully be settled.” He sucks in a couple of deep breaths, but I can’t breathe at all. “I think that you don’t feel whole because you haven’t met your father. I know you don’t talk about it much, but that’s how he feels to me.”
“Wow, you are perceptive,” I rasp. “I didn’t know that I was giving that impression at all…”
“Well, you fascinate me, remember, Kayla.” He smiles brightly. “I want to know everything about you, and I can see that there is something missing. Especially since Winter has been here.”
“Wait.” I shake my head hard. “Is that where we are now?” I glance around. “Does my father live in one of these homes? Oh my God, I don’t know if I am ready for this…”
He takes my hand in his and gives me a reassuring stare. “We don’t have to do this at all. If you don’t want to meet your father, then you don’t have to. I wouldn’t blame you, but I might have to go and see him if you don’t mind?” A shadow crosses his expression. “Just for a moment. There is something that I need to ask him.”
