AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Chapter 4 – KaylaOnce my make up is done, I find myself sitting a little awkwardly in the passenger’s seat of Tim’s car, wondering what the hell I can say to this God who is a million times more interesting than me. I mean, I might not know too much about him but his ethos on life makes me see that he is fascinating. He lives life to the fullest, working to live not living to work, and he doesn’t seem to get worried by anything. Not in the way that I have seen my mother do for her entire life. He is so chilled out, so relaxed that he might as well be horizontal.
I am the opposite, especially right now. I am rigid and straight, stress holding me up right, killing me from the inside out. I would love to be calmer like he is, but I just don’t know how.
As I look at the gorgeous Tim one more time out the corner of my eye, I curse my mother for my education for the very first time. I spent my youth in an all girl’s school. A good one, for sure, one with a fantastic reputation and with the best teachers, but it meant that I was never around guys. I didn’t learn about how to communicate with boys at all. So, of course when I got to college and there were men there, I did the only thing that I could to save face and I didn’t speak to them at all. The only conversations that I have ever had with guys have been about work, so I don’t really know how to do chit chat and small talk. It’s too much for me.
“So, you are fully prepared for the interview?” Tim asks me cautiously. “Do you need to go through anything? I might not know how these things work because I’m not a lawyer, but I could help.”
“I…” God, there is no way that I can say anything lawyer like to this man. It wouldn’t be cool at all. “I think I’m set. I have been through it all a ton over the last few days. I’m sure that I have it. I don’t want to be… you know, over prepared. Like I’m talking from a script or something.”
“Of course, sure.” He nods slowly. “You want to do some speaking from the heart, don’t you? That’s how you show your passion for the role, I’m sure. You need to let them know how much you want this…”
Oh God, I’m sure that Tim is trying his hardest to be nice to me right now, but his words are shitting me up even more. I don’t know how to speak from the heart about being a lawyer because I don’t have any passion for the role. I don’t know how to express to these men that I’m thrilled about the job because I don’t know if I do…
No, of course you do, my brain screams at me. You have to want to this. You need to…
Bleep, bleep. My cell phone shocks me from my thoughts. Bleep, bleep. Bleep, bleep.
I pull my phone out and see far too many missed calls and messages from my mother. The spike of ice cold fear comes back as reality hits me hard. I just need to focus on the relief that I’m not letting my mother down, that I’m getting to the interview even if it isn’t quite on time. I’m doing it. I don’t need to deal with her right now. I can’t, especially not in front of Tim. I can speak to her later on once it’s over.
“Is everything okay?” Tim asks me curiously. “You have gone a little pale.”
“Er, yes. I just have a lot of missed calls from my mother, that’s all…” I slide my phone away. “No worries.”
“Is she quite intense then? Sorry, if that’s a bit much for me to ask when we have just met…”
“Yes,” I immediately reply, being far too honest. “Yes, she’s very intense. Very passionate. I mean, it makes her good at her job and it makes her a great mother in the way that she always has me on the right path, but it means that she can be a bit scary from time to time. Like when she has set up an interview for me and I might not make it on time because my car is junk and my make up in a mess and everything is…”
Oh God, I’m getting ahead of myself. I’m acting like a freak in front of this wonderful man who has helped me out in such a horrible situation. I need to shut my lips tight and stop myself from acting crazy.
“You look good,” Tim reassures me. “Very professional. If I were in charge of the interview, I would hire you the second you walk through the front door because you look just like a lawyer.”
